is she a sandwitch?
do you have any cute, short jokes about your faith?
2007-07-12 07:49:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Oh groan. lol.
How about these?
Witches' Parking only. Violators will be toad.
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.
Eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration project. Jack put in a painting bid and, because his price was so competitive, he got the job. And so he started, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and thinning it down with turpentine.
Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack off the scaffold to land on the lawn.
Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
After a long life of unselfish service, Father John O'Malley died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him at the gate and said: "John, you did such a wonderful job for us on earth, we'd like to do something special for you. You name it; it's yours."
John thought for a moment and said: "I'd like a private audience with the Holy Mother." St. Peter told him it would be arranged.
On the appointed day, St. Peter escorted John to the Holy Mother's sanctuary. John went before Her, knelt, and said: "Holy Mother, I've always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on earth. In all the paintings that were done of you, and in all the sculptures that were carved of you, you always looked so sad. Why is that?"
Mary thought for a moment, pursing her lips. She said: "I always wanted a girl."
A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.
The twenty dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the county. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean.""Wow!" said the one dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church ..."
The twenty dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
2007-07-12 12:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by BlueManticore 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL! That's cute.
Well, His Holiness the Dalai Lama was recently asked about what Buddhism thinks about money and having lots of it (I'm paraphrasing of course) and he replied: (again paraphrased) the monks say "Om mani padme hum" (sounds like "ohm money payed may hung") everyday and if they say it really really fast it sounds like "money, money, money." He got a huge roar of laughter out of the crowd. We never take ourselves too seriously... life would be a terrible bore.
_()_
2007-07-12 15:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by vinslave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol that was kind of funny.
ooo I have one, it's not my own but...
Q: How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that light bulbs never burned out before those damned Christians came along.
Thank you pagan humor site!
2007-07-12 15:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by xx. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What does a cat on the beach have?
Sandy Claws
2007-07-12 14:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two Buddhist monks, looking at a flag blowing in the wind, had a dispute. One felt it was most appropriate to say, "The flag is flapping." The other felt it was more correct to say, "The wind is flapping."
They asked a third monk, who had just joined them, to judge their dispute. He said,
"Your mind is flapping."
.
2007-07-12 14:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by bodhidave 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like the joke about the virgin who gets PG by God. It never ceases to amuse me.
2007-07-12 14:53:59 · answer #6 · answered by ms_coktoasten 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHA!!!!!!!!! That's great!!! I love it. Unfortuantely, I can't come up with any good jokes about myself... Lack of sleep. I'm gonna star you and watch for more though!
2007-07-12 14:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by faeriefiddler 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Catholics have the best jokes told about them, here are some to keep you busy!
http://catholicsites.com/jokes/contents.html
2007-07-12 14:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by Real Friend 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you call the favorite poultry dish in Iraq?
Chicken Allah King.
2007-07-12 15:00:16 · answer #9 · answered by Maverick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe, but she needs to rinse off real good afterwards....
2007-07-12 14:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Mikey ~ The Defender of Myrth 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋