How can my husband and I raise moral, loving kids, in a mostly immoral and unloving world?

Question

My husband and I are deeply religious, and committed to teaching our children to love thier neighbor, and to always do what's right, even when it's not the easy thing to do. I remember how difficult it was for me to stick to these guidelines as a child and teen, because of the peer pressure. I was ridiculed for being one of the few kids in my school who did not cuss, sleep with boys, smoke, drink, ect..., and when I did not want to fight with girls who wanted to pick fights with me they thought it was because I was a wimp, and not because my God teaches me to love others, not hurt others. Being in this world, but not of this world, is not an easy thing for an adolescent. I was a girl, and this was from a decade to two decades ago, things are worse now, and especially for boys, . Even if I succeed in teaching them to always be loving, I know there are people out there who will punish them for it, making it hard to maintain that "Love thy neighbor" attitude. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

1) Teach them by example... by your own love for God... have regular times of family prayer and Bible study.

2) Give your children a deeper understanding and love for God. Some of the most inspirational teachings I've found are right here online...

http://joncourson.com

It's easy to see the Bible as just a bunch of rules... what helps is to see those rules as coming from a LOVING God, not one that just wants to push us around. For example, the 10 Commandments are God's equivalent of a parent saying "Don't touch the stove" and "Don't play in the street".

Let's not forget what Jesus himself said...

“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you[c] and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.

- Matthew 5:11-12
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:11-12;&version=51;

Answer 2

I don't know what your circumstances are but I would give some serious thought to home schooling your children. In this day it is completely possible, depending on where you live, to find a home schoolers group, where you can find other Christians that have the same beliefs as you and are trying to raise their children with the same morals. The only reason I know that is because my Aunt did it with my younger cousins and I have done all the research so I can start with my children in a two years. This groups also allow your children to have friends that are more like them and they would have activities together. Most times the parents teach in group setting say you teach math and another parent teaches history. That way you don't have to know everything this especailly good when they are learning the higher grades.

Other than that stay in a good church, hopefully one where many of the kids that attend the church also go to their school. And pray for those who ridicule you for they don't see the eraer of their ways. God Bless.

Answer 3

I would lead by example. But I would also teach them about self defense. Dont be a bully's target. I have very moral and loving children but they also have let people know that they are nobodies fool. It wasnt always handled in the way that I wouldve handled it but they arent me and the problems were solved. You'll get the type of kids that are a product of the house theyre being brought up in. Its a fact. Have fun, raising my children was the best thing I've ever done in my life and if I could I'd do it all over again!!!

Answer 4

First thing: You and your husband must know about yourselves and each other. Before you can raise moral and loving kids, you both must be this way emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally and finanically. No "do as I say, not as I do" here.

I've learned recently that many of the problems I'm struggling with as an adult is because of the baggage my parents refused to deal with individually and brought into their marriage. Ultimately, my siblings and I picked up their good and bad habits. The bad habits have screwed up my relationships with others so bad that I've had to rely on God, counseling, classes, books from various Christian authors and friends to help me heal through these issues correctly.

The key starts with you and your husband. If you or your husband have anger or abandonment issues, you'd need to figure out why and heal through them. You've got to find healthy ways to cope with those issues first. In this world full of drugs, violence, sex and such, generally people use this as coping mechanisms . They are in desperate need of love, attention and security. Obviously, you don't want that for you or your children. So, make sure anything that has "rooted" inside of you is dealt with so your children don't follow in dealing with the issues that "root" inside of them.

If you and you husband deal with your issues in a healthy and Godly manner then your children will know how to tackle against it. They'll see how you've dealt with the proper coping skills which ultimately transfers into their ways of dealing with problems and situations. Children ARE sponges and they are watching your every move!!! *smiles*

Though I'm not a parent, it has taken me several months to figure out why I am who I am. I can only speak from the perspective of a daughter. Hopefully, this journey will help me know the right way to raise my future children.

Remember: Don't expect the world to change. The change starts with you!

Be blessed...

Answer 5

I always tell my kids, "Who cares what other people think? Be yourself and do what YOU think is right!". Encourage their individuality and encourage them to talk to you, even if it is stuff you might not want to hear. Explain why some things are wrong and why they shouldn't do them. And I wouldn't teach them to be loving of everyone. Teach them, instead, how to respect others and how to be kind, but in this day and age, teach them to be cautious. Drill this stuff into them so you can feel good about the decisions they will make when you aren't there.

Answer 6

I think the number one thing you need to do is trust your children. My mom never doubted me and really impressed on me that she trusted me to make the right decisions and choices. With that burden on my shoulders, I didn't want to disappoint her or my family, so I felt an obligation to conduct myself in a way I (and she) could be proud of.

I'm not from a religious background like you, but obviously taking your children to church and leading by example are important, like everyone is saying. Be sure to start early and impress upon them that all people are equal and beautiful, that they should treat others the way they'd like to be treated.

Give your children confidence and self-esteem so that they can stand up to the peer pressure they will encounter.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Kids learn from their parents. Teach them by example.

Continue living your life the way you do, teach them all you know about your religion, and they too will become loving, moral kids.

Yes, they too will be ridiculed by kids in school, but they will also surround themselves with friends that have the same beliefs and values they do, thus making them even better!

Answer 8

One could become rich with this answer...I have two teenager daughters. I have always told people that the only thing we can truly leave our children after we're gone is the GIFT OF FAITH. Without that, our children will never survive in the world we've become. Living our lives for Christ in front of our children is something they will remember. Show them where Christ and others in the Bible took punish for living righteous lives, but our goal is not for man's approval it is for God's approval. We are only here to bring joy to our Heavenly Father. When we bring him joy, we have joy and can be joyful to those around us.

Answer 9

Just continue what are doing,by teaching them how precious life is,how to love in a right way children grow up with the wisdom parents instill in their hearts and mind,they will never be astray.Teach them the reality,guide them on how to deal with it,and always be there for them.Listening,showing and guiding is the only what Parents can do for their children.
accept our childrens weaknesses in what ever form it was and always be there for them.God Bless you.

Answer 10

i try to do the same thing, and i get ridiculed for believing that it is possible to raise my children with morals. most people believe that kids will sleep around no matter what you teach them, people believe kids will do what they want and disregard their parents. i think parents are just too afraid to say no because they want their kids to just like them and be their friend.

my biggest suggestion is to just stick to your guns, teach your kids to respect you most of all! when kids respect their parents they do not want to go against their wishes.

granted some kids will stray, but at least you can be confidant that you did what was right!!!!