My wedding was horrible. I had so many problems that it was hard to focus on the real meaning of the wedding. There was a lot of bad things going on outside of the wedding and because of finances I had to do most of everthing myself including half of the catering. I paid for most of the wedding too. I was extremly stressed and wanted to cancel. Many people bailed on me. My husbands friends said some very unflattering things about me in front of several guests. These friends were all groomsmen. In almost the same breath the best man in his speech said wonderful things about me. At the time I thought he was sincere. My husbands ex-girlfriend confronted these friends at the wedding and they were unapologetic for their words. She told me fairly recently but made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone. In the meantime I made the best man godfather of my child. (I didn't know). One of these guys is getting married and I don't want to go. I am not sure I want them in my life or my child's.
2007-07-12 07:43:15 · 20 answers · asked by egyptian_water_lily23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's time for your husband to set them straight. They're his friends, and you're his wife. He needs to grow a backbone, and tell them in no uncertain terms that they need to keep their mouths shut and treat you with respect. End of story.
2007-07-12 07:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
it's easy to say that you're married now and what's his is yours and whats yours is his including friends. When the Groomsmen said these unflattering thing abouts you had they been drinking. If you heard that they were saying these things from your husbands ex-girlfriend how much can you really believe it. you should tell your husband how you feel and then the friends should talk to you if you still feel uncomfortable with the situation you shouldn't go.
Weddings are stressful anyway but doing everything yourself makes it worse. If you know exactly what they said really think about it and see if it was mean or just being playful they might have meant it as a joke.
2007-07-12 14:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by igotrings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is messed up!!!!!! You should have told your husband!!! Im sorry let me get this straight your husband DID NOT help you pay for the wedding?????????????? NO you dont need backstabbers at your wedding. You should demote him from being your sons godfather. Your husband needs some REAL friends. Im sorry to hear your wedding went terribly. I suppose you and your hubby could have a renewal vow ceremony in five to ten years. AND WHAT THE HELL IS THE EX GF DOING IN THE PICTURE!!!
2007-07-12 17:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your husband say about these guys? He should not let anyone treat you with disrespect. If he doesn't care, there's a real problem in your marriage. Maybe you need to see a counselor.
You don't have to see your husband's friends if you don't like them. If they come to your house, go visit a friend yourself. Or go to your bedroom and close the door.
If you don't want to go to the wedding, just pretend you're sick that day. But that won't work forever. I think you and your husband have issues you need to work out.
2007-07-12 14:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by BrooklynInMyBones 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about this - I'm sure if he is the great man that you think he is that he will understand and help you out. These people sound awful, and this is just the beginning - if they are making life troublesome for you, they probably will for your child's too - if they are speaking to you like this you shouldn't need to go to their wedding and be sincere to them. Talk to your husband and tell him all of this, including your feelings, and worries. I hope all goes well.
2007-07-12 14:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by workaholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is "shame on your husband" for not being there and defending you. i would let him know how you feel and that not only are these ******* not allowed in your life but also your childs, and have your husband tell them. after you go to their wedding. why would you not go? free booze, and food. don't get him anything for the wedding just get the bride a gift certificate to maybe a salon or something for her only. when you go to the church, don't sit on his side either, sit on the brides. after you've eaten, got cake, and are drunk, just leave.
2007-07-12 14:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps they are jealous that you took their buddy away from them. Men are like little boys. You are going to have to toughen up some hon. or you will be spending a lot of time alone. If they can dish it they can take it. Give as good as you get. Be the strong woman.
2007-07-12 14:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by bluebird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's ex-girlfriend told you? Are you sure she isn't just starting drama? Guys are pretty up-front with things, so maybe you should just ask the best man instead of taking your hubby's ex's word for it.
2007-07-12 16:14:06 · answer #8 · answered by Allison L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask, what did your husband do when they said those things?
My husband would have sent them packing. He would have done without groomsmen before he would let them treat me that way.
But, you picked him and his friends are what they are. I would never have made one of them a godfather to my child.
Get a spine girlfriend.
2007-07-12 14:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by Collette L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the first place, your husband shouldn't have let his friends speak of you that way. he should have confronted them himself and told them that as much as they respect him, they should do the same to you. it is also very tempting to work on your revenge during the wedding of one of his friends...but remember, it's not good to correct one mistake with another. besides, if you do the exact same thing as they did, you only show that you are in the same level with them. let it remain...let them be the one way down low. I understand that you don't want anything to do with them. That's your right. Besides, they're not worth spending your time with.
2007-07-12 15:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by Honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋