I'm almost 24 and waiting until marriage for sex.
These days, everyone has sex early on. Yet deep down inside, people value virginity.
So guys, assuming that you love the woman and all.....would you prefer it if the woman you married and spent the rest of your life with, to be a virgin?
This way you can rest assured that you were the only one who has ever made love to her and that she has loved you sooooooo much, wayyyyy before you met, that she wanted to save herself for you!!! By saving yourself, your husband won't get anything, "used"...it'll be brand new! I mean, isn't that the absolute best wedding gift everrrrr?!?!
OR, do you not care and want to get laid and/or want to give the girl a test run, first?
BTW, no answers will change my mind on my decision. I know for a fact that I'm giving my husband one hell of a wedding present! :o)
2007-07-12 07:26:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh, and before people make assumptions...don't think that I'm conservative or something, just because I'm a virgin. I don't dress like a nun or anything. And I actually have a kinky mind (if you only knewwww)! Haha!
2007-07-12 07:27:17 · update #1
I am in college, and I would love my future wife, whoever it may be, to be a virgin, but there is no stopping people these days. It would be a definite plus though. I respect you for your decision.
2007-07-12 07:30:59 · answer #1 · answered by John 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Funny that you warn people not to judge you, when you go right ahead and judge others. Just because someone has sex before marriage does not make them "used", nor does it mean the love making was just to "get laid" or to "give a test run". Do not presume to know what goes on in the lives of others.
Although it is a sweet sentiment, you have not loved your future spouse before you even met. That's not the way it works. I see also that you don't appear to have a problem with marrying a guy who is not a virgin. So, you can accept a man who has had sex before marriage, but a woman is used and dirty? Please get past the double standards, and don't go putting yourself on a pedestal. People's sex lives (or lack thereof) are personal, and to each his own. You are no better and no worse than anyone else. Deal with it.
2007-07-12 13:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I guess I'm curious why you pose this question to guys only. If virginity is something to be valued, shouldn't it come from both of the people in the relationship?
Will you prefer that your future husband be a virgin? Or do you have some sort of double-standard expectation that he should somehow be experienced before he finds the right woman?
Good for you for waiting! I didn't, but my daughter did. She told me it was the best decision she ever made! I certainly hope the same holds true for you!!!
2007-07-12 07:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
First of all, virginity isn't a gift. It will be just as painful and uncomfortable (and you won't have an orgasm) whether you wait or not. The only people that value virginity are virgins. Sex is a wonderful, nature thing that should not be shamed due to the legality of marriage.
And I'm offended that you directed this question to guys. Do you care that your future husband is "used"? What about his so-called "gift" to you? You are not less than a man and if your virginity is important to you, then you need to make sure that his virginity is important to him as well.
I'm not knocking your decision, but just don't get caught up in the "gift" idea. What if you have sex before you get married (and it can happen - I was 27 when I lost my virginity)? Are you going to beat yourself up because of it? Just focus on finding the right person, not so much on the sex part, and everything will work itself out, even if things don't go according to plan.
2007-07-12 08:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 5 · 4⤊ 4⤋
I asked my fiance about this since he's sitting right here, and this is what he said (btw I'm 26 and he's 27 and we are definitely not virgins): what happens if you get married and then you realize you are not sexually compatible with this person? Then what? You're stuck with them. Besides that (re: the one hell of a wedding present comment) he said that the only wedding present you're giving him is an unexperienced sexual experience where you don't know what you're doing. He said that a girl who has had experience will be better able to tell him what feels good and what doesn't, and the fact that a girl has been with others doesn't bother him.
2007-07-12 09:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by Dig It 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
My Fi was not a virgin when I met him and neither was I. I think people value sex differently. I don't believe just b/c someone has sex before marriage, they are less pure. I also don't believe in my virginity as a gift to anyone. If you don't tell anyone you're a virgin, sex is no different. I believe that it's own my body. When I chose to have sex for the first time. I didn't give my virginity away to them. I gave it up to myself. I don't see how I gave me parnter anything.
With that said, you can still have a meaningful, fulfiling sexual relationship in marriage, even if you were not a virgin.
Why is this notion of "the gift" so powerful? It seems to degarding to people. As if someone is taking something away from you. When you choose to have sex, you do it for yourself and yourself only. So, what you are giving away is nothing.
Anyway, even though I'm not a virgin. What will make sex different w/ my Fi on my wedding night; is that we will be married. We are now our own family. I will see sex as I have seen it before, but this time as more meaningful.
2007-07-12 07:37:32 · answer #6 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 5⤊ 4⤋
I would love for my future wife to be a virgin, but it is quite honestly hard to find these days. I am not a virgin so I guess I got no room to talk. My girlfriend I have now is not a virgin, but Iwill probably marry her. No guy would WANT tainted goods, but it doesn't bother them as much unless it has been a lot of dudes she has been with. I mean think about it, the last thing any man wants to think about is other dudes ***** in their girlfriends vagina. So in conclusion more power to you for remaining a virgin your future husband will be a lucky man.
2007-07-12 07:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Guys like to marry virgins because they will believe you when you tell them that all guys are the same size.
2007-07-12 08:36:04 · answer #8 · answered by casey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
who cares that he's not getting anything "used?"
that's between you and him.
and dont degrade premarital sex the way you do. don't you think that it's possible to fall in love before marriage and actually embrace it, physically? i know so!
this is why they call it making love. not going for "a test run" as you so politely put it.
so before you go judging others for having sex before marriage, while you're uplifting yourself for being a prude, consider other people's feelings first.
2007-07-12 08:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by John Redcorn 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Wouldn't you want to test the car before buying it?
In all seriousness, I think saving yourself for marriage is a noble idea, but what if you're not happy with the other person...
2007-07-12 08:06:11 · answer #10 · answered by Casey H 1 · 5⤊ 2⤋