My mom lied to me and broke promises, should I forgive and forget?

Question

I'm 13 and have a good relationship wityh my mom But for the last few months she's been kinda weird, different. She broke several promises she had made to me and lied 3 times, about things important to me. I got devastated, if I can't trust my own mom, who will I trust? When she realized how hurt I was she apologized, desperately, cried a lot, hugged me tight, asked for forgiviness and pleaded with me to keep trusting her. Now, I'm really confused, I'm terribly hurt but also terribly sorry for her. I thinlk I'll simply forgive and forget, I'm about to consider this as one of those weakness, one of those mistakes everybody makes sometimes.

I'll never use this as a justification for me myself to lie, break promises, be mean or do bad stuff. But, now my question: if it was me the one to lie to her and break promises? Would she forgive me from the depth of her heart? Would she accept my apologies and keep trusting me?

Answer 1

Yes you should forgive and forget, she is your mom after all and you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life. Nobody is perfect and everybody deserves a second chance. If it had been you that lied and broke promises, for sure she would have forgiven you. Perhaps you would of lost her trust, but with time you could earn it back.

There is nothing wrong with not trusting your mom, but know that she loves you regardless of things and she only wants what's best for you. Perhaps she broke those promises and lied to protect you, you never know why parents do this. When we grow up and become parents ourselves our eyes are opened, you begin to understand why your parents did this or that.

From what you described up there she sounds like she is really sorry and just wants things to go back to normal. It is up to you, she apologized to you and she admitted to have done wrong. Fix things up, go give her a hug and tell her you love her. You need her as much as she needs you.

Answer 2

Sometimes we lie and have to break a promise for other reasons. It is not a good thing but in life sometimes we are thrown a curve ball. Example your mom was taking you on vacation. Well if she is not getting her over time check or unable to get the time off work then she will be breaking her promise to you but, can not afford to loose her job which supports you so it's hard to help you when you leave out the details. You can trust your mom and until you are a parent you will not understand a mother's love is unconditional. She may not always like what you do or agree but will always love you no matter how old you are. You should forgive and find out why she did what she did.

Answer 3

It seems like one of those situations that you fix, forgive, and forget. Try being the older one- go talk to her. See if anything has been going on, or if she needs comforting about something that's going on in her life. If you've had a good relationship with her, she obviously wouldn't just turn on you like this. I'm 13, and my family is h3ll. Most of the time I ignore them now, since whenever I DID try to help any of them, they ignored me. But my family is screwed up, and a divorce or SOMETHING would seriously make things so much better. But obviously, you and your mom aren't gonna turn out like that.

When you ask her if anything's wrong, don't force it- it might swallow you into a situation where you can't do anything but get hurt and hurt unintentionally.

Just ask her if anything's wrong, and if she says no, just leave it alone, forgive her, and forget about it.

If this keeps happening, you'll know that something's up. When it DOES keep happening, ask another question on Yahoo! Answers, to see what you should do about it.

The likely outcome would be that she'll say nothing's wrong, and you'll just have to forgive and forget about it. Then go on with your lives.

And yes, of COURSE she would forgive you from the most loving depths of her heart that she gives you. One incident wouldn't break the good relationship that you've had with your mom. Both of you love each other- that kind of thing is hard to break with even the deepest troubles.

Answer 4

The size of the lie matters here, and the situation surrounding the promise.

I never lie to my kids, and I don't make promises that I don't know I can keep, but I've planned to do things with them that didn't work out.

The time and money crunch on parents is more than most 13 year olds can understand.

Without knowing the situation I feel like you might be a bit selfish and not understanding of your mothers problems. Until you spend most of your money on your own child you're not really in a position to judge.

If she promised she'd stay sober for your birthday, then I'm on your side 100%, if she promised to take you to the mall on Saturday, then I'm on her side 100%.

Answer 5

You may never know the answer to your question ... and of course you should both forgive and 'forget' ... but you also must be 'wary' of your mom, who may be having some SERIOUS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, or be 'addicted' to either alcohol or drugs, and he life may be 'out of control' ... you are only 13, and you are NOT OLD ENOUGH to know 'exactly what is going on' ... but you ARE old enough to pick up the phone and call someone (preferably someone in your family whom you trust ALL THE TIME to 'do the right thing') and 'explain to them' what is 'going on' with your mom and ask them to 'drop by' and 'look into this' for you. If there is 'nothing' wrong, then you can breathe more easily, and 'forget' more completely ... but if there is 'something wrong' your mom needs HELP to 'get better' and to be a better mom to you.

Answer 6

aww am so sorry for you sonia :(
there are more than question here doh.
1. yes you should forgive her
2. trust is not the same as forgivness
3. you will forget its not really possible
4. your mom needs some help
unfortunately that puts you at risk a little but just keep going as before this time keep your eyes open a little more
she needs you to watch for her.
but dont rebuke harshly just remind her very quietly of that past. I am sorry but its time for you for start talking and finding older trusted friend like granma, a sunday school teacher, someone very honorable and loving that can back up your mom real wishes for you and help make all the right choices

Answer 7

If she has apologized you can forgive. But you do not necessarily have to forget it either. She hurt you and did not follow through with something that was important to you. Moms make mistakes. Is she under a lot of stress lately? Is something major going on with her? Be considerate if this is the case. I can't say if she would forgive you only she can answer that.

Answer 8

I think you should forgive her because she just made a lot of hurtful mistakes, and she would probably forgive you if you made those mistakes. My mom told me that she would always forgive me, and my mom has done things like cussed at me before, and I was really hurt, but she's told me that the second she said it she felt terrible, and she's cried also, and I just think it's kinda hard sometimes not to forgive her,when she cries, plus she's my best friend, but EVERYONE messes up, and they all deserve forgiveness like God forgave ever single person on this earth.

Answer 9

You didn't mention what the promises were and why she broke them. Sounds like there are some things going on in your mom's life that she has no control over. If she has always been consistent until recently, cut her some slack. She can't put adult worries on your shoulders. It sounds like she is really sorry. I would forgive her, and maybe just not ask her for anything right now. Especially concerning money. Sounds like she is going through a tough time.

You sound like a wonderful daughter, hang in there, OK?

Answer 10

If she has broken many promises it must be due to some reason other wise a mother would never let her daughter down.Perhaps she must be going through some problems and could not keep her promises .I think you should have a discussion about this to your mother and make her under stand how you are feeling and trying understand her problems too and try to solve the problems and i think you should forgive your mother after she is mother.