Ok I am 20 and I have never really been that close to my mom at all... just my dad. So its kind of like I dont really have a mother figure in a way because my mom lives about 600 miles away from me in a diff. state. Well I have a friend that is 31 that was my past college teacher and she is really nice and I really look up to her as an ideal and everything. Well she didn't have any kids when I met her but she was pregnant. Today she had her first baby and I feel like now that she has a baby she wont talk to me really that much as I want. I understand tho that when u have a baby it makes you incredibly busy. I kinda feel like I might be substituting her as a mother figure in a very SMALL way. We arent really good friends yet but are still getting to know each other more.. we only talk through email. But I want to see her baby and go to her house. I dont know if she would want me to tho. I just want to keep in good touch with her and be a really good friend to her.
2007-07-12 07:10:02 · 7 answers · asked by pink_flamingo1211 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have also told her that she can call me on the phone and I have gave her my number but I dont feel she feels close enough to me to call yet. But she always shares her life with me and what goes on in it and everything. And I tell her stuff that goes on with me. She doesn't know about my mother situation but I just want to tell her if she ever needs help w/the baby she can ask me but i dont know if that would seem weird to her since i havent even ever been to her house! I also would like to go see her baby in the hospital but dont know if she would want me to do that either.. but I know she has had it and is at the hospital and so if I went to the nursery just to see the baby and she saw me and maybe didnt approve.. i wouldnt want to ruin the friendship.
2007-07-12 07:10:21 · update #1
I wouldn't stalk her by showing up at the hospital. In a few days after she's been home with baby, e-mail her to congratulate her, and say that you'd really like to come and visit her and the new baby. See what she says. You could include in your email that you would really like to be better friends, and you hope that you two (or 3, with baby) can hang out more often.
2007-07-12 07:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by teenabeena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask the woman how she feels about you. Let her know what you want in the relationship and see if she is looking for a friend like that. It may be that she feels some of the things that you do, but is afraid to push the relationship for fear of ruining it.
She could feel the opposite, but if she's sharing her homelife stuff and personal details with you it is likely she is looking for a closer friendship too.
To many people are so afraid to ask question of friends, family and spouses for fear they could lose something they don't really have. If she doesn't feel like you do you can continue the relationship as it is now and just email back and forth and it could still turn in to a great friendship. Jump in with both feet and you just might her feet next to yours in a great friendship that will last.
2007-07-12 14:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by Panama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with your situation,i mean,you don't have your mom in your life, so your kinda looking up to this woman like a mother figure and that's ok, many people do this, i think she'd love it if you wanted to help out with the baby and meet her all, you need to talk to her, call the hospital and ask for her room number and call and tell her how your feeling and ask her how she'd feel about you coming to see her, you never no unless you ask....
2007-07-12 14:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop by the hospital for a few (just 15 minutes or so, no more) minutes and bring her something she might like or need. Call her and offer to come by when she gets out of the hospital. But make sure you cook dinner or fold some clothes, do some laundry. Doing something to help like a family member would,
2007-07-12 14:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it does sound like you are substituting her as a mother figure. What you have to do is make every effort to draw close to your own mother. What seems to happen in the world is that when kids go off to college the relationship they have with their parents gets broken and it gets pushed apart. God doesn't want this. He wants you and your mom to be close. Even one of His commandments says: Honor Thy MOTHER and thy FATHER. We are to be close to both of them. Make every effort now to fix any broken peices in the relationship with your mom. Seek forgiveness from her. God will work it all out if you do your part. this lady, altough she may be your friend, she should not be your focus. If you are not careful, she will become a small obsession in your life, while you and your mom will drift further apart. Stop that before it happens.
2007-07-12 14:20:31 · answer #5 · answered by Dead 2 Self 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's nice you have made a new friend, who you seem to look up to as a "mother" figure... it's nice to have a good role model in our life, and you're fortunate to have her even if only in email.
yes it's a busy time when a person has a baby....
hopefully she will invite you to see the child... however, she might not feel it ethically correct to become "in person" friends with you because you were her student. it's frowned upon to make friends with students (or even former students) in some schools/universities.
so, if she is following ethical guidelines because of your student and professor relationship, please don't be disappointed if she doesn't invite you over.
it isn't YOU, it's because of the way she must handle things.
i hope it works out.
2007-07-12 14:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try asking her if you can visit her and her new baby, but you need to remember that she'll need time to bond with her new baby. Her life isn't about you, it's about her being a mother. Just make sure you respect her space.
2007-07-12 14:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋