Your sincere answers anticipated for a weird whacko question. Iam frustrated and need your help.?

Question

First of all I apologize for asking such a sensitive and disgusting question on a forum like this. But I am in such a frustrated state of mind which forces me to ask this question for your sincere opinion.

I am an 18 year old teen from a religious and conservative family. My mother is aged 42 and my father expired in my early childhood.

Yesterday night proved one of the most shocking night for me which has shattered me emotionally to a great extent.

Unfortunately I happened to watch my mom getting nude in front of my uncle (my father's elder brother).
I peeped into my mom's bedroom out of curiosity and watched them making love. My uncle is a 60 year old retired fellow, whom I respected a lot. I just couldn't believe my eyes. It came to me as a rude shock.

Haven seen a nude woman for the first time and that too my own mother sleeping with another man is very indigestible for me.
Should I talk to my mother(which I am finding utterly embarrassing). Helpmeclearmymindandacceptthisdfact

My uncle is a married man having a 30 year old son. His wife is alive.

I thank all of you for your answers.

But just try to understand my situation.

Just imagine your mom whom you love more than your own life , sleeping with another man.

I purposely never peeped into my mom's bedroom. It was just an accidental peep at 2 am when I was about to visit bathroom. Sorry for that.


I haven't talked to my uncle since that day. I hate that crap.

I shall be thankful for your opinions in helping me accept this rude fact and help me concentrate back on my studies.

Thank you. God bless all of you.

Answer 1

Just relax!
Pre-marital sex, extra-marital escapades, and multiple sex partners are not uncommon in any society. You first admit this fact. It is just that you saw this happen before your eyes at a tender age and that too with your mother whom you love so much. It is one of those things of life you will have to live with. You cannot change the age-old habit and basic human urge of sex. It is mind-boggling how the whole world is geared towards this basic human urge. The facades are there for a decent life, but deep inside there is so much of hypocrisy.
Having said all that, I must ask you to talk this over to your mother in as plain a language as possible without getting ruffled or annoyed over it. Let her feel the pinch of your feelings. She will offer her explanations. She will definitely justify her act in a guarded language. Or, she will reprimand you for having peeped in or she will go the extent of telling you that you had some kind of hallucination. Just listen to her. Your words will have an impact on her, although there is no guarantee that she will improve upon it.
After you have vented your feelings, you chart out your own course and take this with a pinch of salt. In later years, your feelings towards your mother will mellow and you will love her again for the whole lot she has done for you. You have my heartfelt sympathy and good wishes.

Answer 2

Well young man - even 60 year olds have the urge to merge. It's a fact. I trust what happened wasn't the first time. Seems like your mum has found a companion and perhaps chose your uncle becoz he may remind her of your dad. Your uncle on the other hand is another matter. He is married after all but I guess he isn't happy in his relationship. When people get to a certain age, they just make do. Maybe that is what two grown up people are doing. Making do. Whatever happened, try and put it out of your mind. If you do want to talk about it to your mother you could say something quite vague about having got up to use the toilet and you heard her and your uncle talking. Ask her what your uncle was doing in her room at that hour? Remember one thing here though, you are the child and she is the adult. You must allow her some dignity.

Answer 3

Wow! A few are very righteous when responding to OK.
1. Gosh...you are 18. Dont fool anyone by describing what you saw. At 18 these days, you know more than your mom.
2. Tell me what is wrong with finding love and companionship? Would you prefer your mom to go through her whole life alone?
3.By the way, that same naked body and love-making actually made YOU!
You need to get your own life and mould that. Your mom is human. A partner is good for her. If he is married that could pose as a problem, otherwise she IS entitled to happiness.
So dear peeping tom,
Maybe you should help mom find some happiness and stop being such a petticoat-government spoilt momma's boy.
Take your mom out for ice-cream...can you handle that?

Answer 4

Well, Honey, these kinds of things happen when you start "spying" on someone. Would you like to know that your mom had peeped in on you at some time when you thought no one was looking? My mom nude, does not do me any favors in the visual department either...but again, I have never peeped in on my mother. Her bedroom was her private sanctuary. As is mine. Your father is gone. I know it's hard to see her with your father's brother. That would be weird for me too. Strangely, in some third world countries this is acceptable, and even expected that a brother will take over if available in attending a wife or children left behind. If you feel the need, then talk to her. If not, then try to just move on. She is an adult. And it's not like she purposely involved you in some way, although I do think it was a little disrespectful for her to engage in this with you in the house considering whom she was with, and especially without a door being LOCKED behind her, too. I know this sounds stupid, but this is not the worst thing in life that could happen...so try to put it behind you.

Answer 5

It's unfortunate that you saw that, but it's none of your business!! You had no business peeping into your mother's room at ANY time, especially at 2 a.m.!! You're 18, you surely had SOME idea that you MIGHT possibly see something you had no right to see...I find it hard to believe that this actually is the first time you've seen something you shouldn't have seen. If you're being a peeping Tom now, I think you've done it before. Keep your eyes in their place from now on, and never mind what your mother does!! Don't embarrass her by telling her -- just deal with it! Shame on you.

Answer 6

Dear,

There are 2 things we have to consider. First thing your mother. 42 years in a woman's life is not like a dried tree. Her physical nees might have compelled her to do such thing. Sometimes human being will show the culture from the stone age. The man who participated is your father's elder brother. That is similar to your father. I am not advocating for them but happened is happend.

Second thing you. Ofcouse it is beyond our tolerance to see such a situation. Unfortunately you saw it. Now you have two options.
1. Without doing anything, just leave it because ya mom did not go with a third person. Your father's brother is like your father only. She might have been suffering loneliness from the time of the death of your father. From that time onwards your uncle might have supported her and a relation would have developed between them. May be she did not dare to re-marry only due to the concern about your Future.

2. You can go to your mother, and just say that you don't like your uncle coming to our house in the odd hours. If she is asking who told you that he is coming home, just say to her that somebody saw him walking towards our house in the odd hours. Then just put a false threatening that if you will see such things in your eyes, you will disclose it your aunt and your cousin. May be it will workout. She will not feel such a bad that you have seen such a scene.

Anyway don't get disheartend. Don't allow your intellect to wander in negetive thoughts. Happened is happened. This are all drama which we cannot change it my dear. This are all pre-destined. Otherwise how it happened in your life to loose your father while most of your friends and colleagues have father with them. If your mother would have re-married in your younger age, what you could have done but to admit it na. So think accordingly. This should not be a reason for changing your life. You did not see anything. Just a dream, a bad dream thatz all. Okey.

Answer 7

I really don't know how to ans this. I could feel how shattered u r. I can understand u.

What ur Mom has done is not good. But lemme tell u something. U r a very small boy, who has never went through all these.

After marriage sexual desire occurs time to time. It's a sad thing that ur Mom has been wanting this for a long time.

I don't if I should say that what she is doing is right or wrong. According to good traditional & cultured way it is wrong. But to satisfy ones need she may be correct.

She could have married someone instead of doing this.

U need to make ur mind broad & speak to her to let her know that she has done something really hurting.

Answer 8

dear friend for ur age this is a great shock, i can understand. It is diffcult to digest such shocks, especially in Indian mentality and mindset. Try to see your mother thirdpersonly and then analyse it. Under Indian tradition it is a very big moral crime, but as a third person u may forget her in your later life, when U have lived married life for some years. try to forgive her as a human being. after all Human is error. After u cool down you can give hint to mother or if u both are open minded u can disuss with her, her replies may give you some answers. Please do not talk in anger or haste.

Answer 9

Dear Boy,
This is a full blown populated world and different kinds of humans are living. You are too young to understand the relations, customs, traditions and different living conditions. I will give you one example when I came across in my Sociology reference book while I was making my final year degree ie. in the year 1970. It is like this:- A tribal called khasas and tudas used to live in the hills of Nilgiries. They used to practise polygamy that means especially in that tribes a lady if her husband expires, she used to marry the elder brother of her late husband. Subsequently if he also dies, she marry second one. If there are 5 to 6 brothers, she used to marry one after other of their demises. If all the brothers expires subsequently she used to marry her won elder son. Whether you have studied Sociology or not I do not know. It is one example I gave you. Not only this, like wise there are hundreds of examples existing in this world. This is a very peculiar universe, if you want to live in this, you have to bare with so many such incidents. Your mind and heart is so delicate at this age because experience matters. Forget what you have seen and dot try to recollect and forgive your mother for ever and ever. God bless you.

Answer 10

Tell your mother what you saw and how deeply sorry you are. Promise never again to spy on her - and then stop talking and listen to her.

You will probably never be able to totally forget all you've seen, but you can decide to fill your mind with other, more acceptable visions. Concentrate on developing new memories - good memories - and go on with your life.

Forgive yourself, whether your mother does or not. You cannot change what has happened, but you can move forward with a clear conscience.

Go for it!