To save gas $ and help the environment, I take the bus to work. I drive partway to the nearest bus stop and then I hop on the bus. Yesterday I did this as usual, and went to a nighttime work function. It went well & I was planning to take the bus & train back to my car & then go home. Then my coworker friend said "I don't want to see you go thru all the hassle of the bus"(but I'm used to it), I'll get my friend to give you a ride! But I already had a prepaid bus pass. I didn't want to look impolite so I went along w/ it.
I even told my friend that I didn't have any cash on me to contribute towards gas, but she said not to worry about it, that her friend was just giving me a ride to be nice. So I accepted the ride but I still felt bad that I wasn't giving a generous amount for gas(I'm too dam nice). B/c I didn't offer gas $, I felt bad having this girl drive out of her way for me. (My friend thought her friend was going the same place as me, but it turns out that wasnt quite the case
2007-07-12 06:04:22 · 9 answers · asked by I Hate my haters 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As a result of not having gas $ and not wanting to inconvenience this girl, I made things easy by riding up w/ her to the bar she was already going to, walking to a landmark next to the bar, and having my nearby best friend drive me back.
When my friend arrived, she was in a horrible mood about her job. So I didn't bother to ask her to drive further in the opposite direction to my car. I figured I'd just crash at her place, which is next to a different bus stop, then take the bus up to my car the next morning to check on it.
Well I do just that, take the bus, and find that my car is MISSING! >:( I think it got towed. To add insult to injury, my LEAST FAV STORE is the one that towed it. It took calling them like 20X before I got a straight answer from them about where it got towed to, if it got towed. I haven't even been able to get a hold of the towing place yet, it just goes to their voicemail...
2007-07-12 06:07:54 · update #1
I understand that it is not good to park overnight, and trust me I wouldn't have otherwise, if it werent for me trying so hard to stay complacent and agreeable w/ people. Besides, it wasn't exactly parked in a congested city area. It was in a large parking lot, on the far end from my most hated store. (I have a lot of beef about this chain's monopoly tendencies & the unfair way they fired me 3yrs ago)
So now I'm screwed out of all this cash I don't even have. That's what I get for trying to save gas $, support our city's far-in-debt mass transit system, and act real agreeable to friends! Was I too much of a pushover?
Also, what would you have done in my situation, if you were offered the ride?
2007-07-12 06:10:29 · update #2
TO ROB: Thanks for the feedback. My coworker friend can't relate to the 1.5hr bus trips that I take from the city to my town in the suburbs, because she lives right in the city and relies on cabs. In reality the bus trip DOES look like a huge time-consuming inconvenience to a lot of people...I go 1.5hrs from city to suburbs...but what's ironic is that the busses woulda been MORE convenient, b/c at least the busses were going in the direction that I needed to go. And even though they are time-consuming & a lot of sketchy people ride the busses at night, at least I'd only be inconveniencing myself...not my coworker's friend and my best friend. But it's sometimes hard to explain that.
2007-07-12 06:16:59 · update #3
I rely on public transport and I don't like accepting rides from people; sometimes they end up driving any which way too stopping 'just for a moment' here or it'll just take long for them to leave in the first place... never as extreme as happened to you but I have had it happen that it took as long to get home as when I'd just gotten on the train in the first place. Also I don't always like the way people drive, took a ride once from a guy who only touched the steering wheel when turning a corner, he was talking, fiddling with the radio, rolling a cig, etc, etc all the time. I'll just say 'No thanks, I'm fine' when offered a ride unless there really isn't a train or bus running to the place where I need to go, and then I pick the person I ride with carefully. You really should learn to be more assertive!
2007-07-15 03:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone offers you something but you politely refuse, that isn't necessarily being impolite. I would have just said "No, that's ok. I kind of like taking the bus." Or I would have at least found out where the friend lived so I would know if it was convenient.
That's sucks that your car was towed, but what's done is done. Quit beating yourself up and move on. Look at it as a learning experience, and a story to tell us Yahoo messengers! lol
2007-07-12 13:12:42 · answer #2 · answered by Rob 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand your feelings. I am a lot like you. I just try to be agreeable, but usually regret it. I need to follow the same advice. But I would suggest to always stand up for yourself and trust your gut feelings. If something feels wrong, then don't do it. Trust your instincts. I once had a friend who was a drama queen and begged me to go out with her and for fear of being impolite, I used to agree. Well, everytime I did there was always this ridiculous drama and I usually put myself in uncomfortable situations. I eventually stopped returning her phone calls and just don't really associate with her anymore. You should have your friend pay your towing bill. I'm so sorry for your misforturne. good luck.
2007-07-12 13:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Angrygirl5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have thanked your coworker and the friend for their concern but I'd have insisted on taking the bus back to my car and saved all this hoopla.
Barring that, I'd have had the friend's friend drive me to the car as planned - despite it being inconvenient and not to the bar instead. And then later, when you had more money, send her a check to pay for gas.
Finally, consider moving to the city and walking to work instead.
2007-07-12 13:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are too much of a pushover. I am sorry that all that happened to you but you need to be clear in what you want to do and stop doing favors for people. I think you have an overestimated idea of how much they wanted to help you. They probably just wanted to go home like you and could have gotten their faster without you but were trying to be polite. So next time be on your own. You will enjoy your evening more.
2007-07-12 14:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were just trying to be agreeable, but now you have a story to tell the next time a situation like this comes up. It's too bad it's going to cost you plenty $$$, but unfortunately these hard lessons are the ones that stick with us. Good luck with your car.
2007-07-12 13:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by EvilWoman0913 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks. I'm so sorry about your car. I am always hesitant to accept rides from people because I don't like other people dictating where and when I go somewhere.
Next time someone offers you a ride tell them exactly what happened. "I'd love to, but if I don't get back to where I parked my car someone will have it towed! Thanks anyway!"
2007-07-12 13:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by dice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should be so upset, take this as a learning experience, next time if you dont want to do something politely refuse and do what you want.
As far as saving the enviroment, i live in nyc and no one could care less. I think your a nice person for caring because most people i know dont.
2007-07-12 13:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would have been easier just to decline the ride and take the bus as you had planned.
2007-07-16 12:49:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋