We are getting up in numbers for our wedding and reception. We have some kids that have to be there, parents in wedding party or with family from out of town, but is it ok not to invite the other kids like in town family? We are running into capacity and cost issues. Any input will be a big help.
2007-07-12 05:34:41 · 26 answers · asked by jss104 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we are looking at almost 50 kids with everyone and that puts us way over what we can do. we are from ohio and both have a lot of family in north carolina, for them to come they will have to bring there kids, thats where we run into the problem of what to do, id rather have none to be honest, but i feel some are unavoidable, plus we all know people don't always go by the invitations
2007-07-12 05:59:52 · update #1
We're not inviting kids at all to ours, not even a flower girl. It is in an art gallery and its a cocktail reception, so its hardly the environment for kids. But think about how many weddings you have been to where nobody is dancing because kids hyped up on sugar are running around the dance floor. It's really annoying. My family members that have kids have no problem getting a babysitter, and are looking forward to a grown up night.
You shouldn't say some kids are ok, and others aren't, because then you are going to have people upset with you. If you are that concerned with what the parents are going to do, maybe you can get a hotel room at the hotel that everyone is staying at, and hire one or two babysitters for everyone's kids. The kids can have a slumber party, and you can have a civil wedding without screaming.
2007-07-12 05:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by Allison L 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's rude to allow SOME children but not others. There's no way around it. "We welcome your brother's kids but not your sister's kids -- ?"
1. See if your caterer/hall has cheaper kids meals to serve to the 50+ kids. I know of one wedding that was $25 a plate for adults but only $5 per kid. So five kids equalled one adult, and the numbers aren't so bad.
2. No kids' meal? Get an extra room at the hall and order pizza for the kids. Hire a few baby-sitters and show a movie in there so the kids won't be bored. You can probably do that for $5 a kid, too. Alternatively, don't invite any of the kids to the wedding, but provide pizza, a movie and sitters at the hotel so that the out-of-town families are accommodated.
3. Give up something else so that you can afford all the kids. For example, switch from the $25 a plate meal to the $20 a plate one.
2007-07-12 06:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by sparki777 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you think others would feel if there are other family members kids who can attend just because the parent is in the wedding party or are out of towners, but their kids can't attend because of money issues. Why not make some kind of arrangements for all the kids on that day then no children will have to attend. Still it's going to cost you and no feelings will be hurt.
2007-07-12 06:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one to have to tell a family member not to bring the kids esp if cousins and other kids will be attending.
I would just feel horrible, and you may lose your guests due to it as well.
Is there anyway you could do a chicken finger buffet for the kids? kids really wont eat alot which is why they only charge like 10 for the kid meals at receptions...as well as they never stay seated anyway...they runn around the whole time.
I think it will cause alot of bad feelings. If it is that big of a deal , have no kids and get a sitter for the family kids to spend the day with. They can have a gathering of their own and a smaller little kid party to keep them occupied.
There are other solutions.
2007-07-12 05:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which ever names are on the invitations, that's who is supposed to be invited I.E. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. If kids were invited, it''d include the children's names or say "and family". The problem with doing that is a lot of people are ignorant of wedding invitation etiquette and still bring their kids. You could say somethingn like "adults only reception" and/or include a little note saying you want them to enjoy their evening without kid. Though simply by stating that the facility itself does not allow kids might make you seem like less of a monster for not wanting kids.
2016-04-01 00:17:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel as though if you don't invite the kids from in town, then the parents that come and see other kids there will be offended.
How many kids are you talking about? I believe all the kids will entertain themselves and kids don't eat very much....
I feel like you should have a "no kids" wedding and have babysitters for the kids that have to go with their parents out of town. But I definitely wouldn't single out half the kids, parents could get angry:)
2007-07-12 05:54:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you might have some very hurt parents if some children were invited and then others weren't but...I didn't invite all the children who were at our wedding to our reception and that I believe is quite acceptable...where I come from our Church portion of the wedding is open....anyone in town can come; sit stand outside whatever; the reception or "dinner" portion was always invitational only and then the dance portion was open again...so if is capacity and cost issue for the reception part only then why not invite them to the rest of it?.... maybe see if one/two of the young adults in your neighbourhood would be willing to babysit for those parents at one central location???
congratulations!
2007-07-12 05:49:31 · answer #7 · answered by Red 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
50 kids are way too many. More than I've ever seen at a wedding and I've been to a lot of big ones. Will people in your family really lie on the RSVP? That's terrible. If that's the case, you have no choice but to make direct phone calls to your guests who have children and who you think will avoid putting that number on the RSVP card. If you didn't have dishonest family or friends, I was going to suggest only calling those individuals who indicated more than 2 on the RSVP, but it looks like you can't do that in this situation.
2007-07-12 08:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definitely not rude, HOWEVER proper etiquette would be all kids ok, or no kids ok. It will definitely cause some problems if you tell someone "hey I'm sorry, but your child can't come" and when they get to your wedding, they see other kids running around. You really don't want to have any drama ensue on your wedding day.
What I did at my wedding was set an age limit. Over 16 only, no exceptions. Everyone at my wedding was understanding.
Best of luck and congratulations!
2007-07-12 05:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by misses_f 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm ha ving the same problem. the only way to not invite some kids over others is to either cut it off a certain age or by family vs non family. if anything you SHOULDN"T invite out of town kids and invite the in town ones bc they are normally considered to be closer to you.
you really should invite the kids in town first or set an age like 16 and over. for my wedding we decided to bit the bullet and invite all my cousins...but any kids that are non family we are not inviting. that is where we saved. and my cousins from out of town i know most of them won't come where the ones in town will. good luck!
2007-07-12 05:55:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋