I don't know what's happening to my 9-year-old daughter. She used to be the sweetest, happiest girl, rarely giving me any problems. People used to comment on how polite and well-behaved she was, as well as tell me how lucky I was for having such a good child.
Recently I've noticed a huge change in her personality/attitude and it's for the worse. My daughter now has a very bad attitude. She's become snotty, whiney, unappreciative for anything that's done for or with her, and expects that she be entertained 24/7. In a nutshell, she's turning into a spoiled brat.
I just grounded her from the TV, the phone and the computer for the way she's been acting. Her reaction? "I don't care!"
I should add that nothing has changed in our lives recently, so she couldn't be reacting to something like that. I've tried to talk to her about her attitude but she denies it.
I don't know what to do. I'd appreciate any advice or input. Thanks.
2007-07-12 05:29:48 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Welcome to puberty.
Nine is getting more and more common for the onset of puberty. She might not start menstruating for 3 years, but she's definitely got the hormone thing going.
Time to have the talk, if you haven't already. Make sure she understands what is going on with her body. Think about what it was like for you -- did you feel like aliens had invaded you and were making you fly off the handle for no reason? Keep that it mind.
She needs coping mechanisms for her hormonal rages. Think about what works best for you when you're having a hormonal reaction.
She also needs EXCELLENT nutrition. Watch the sweets & junk food. She needs protein for her female organs to develop. She needs fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains. She needs extra iron, vitamin B and calcium. You may want to watch the dairy products, because there are some people who believe that the hormones they give to cows to produce milk have a bad effect on girls.
She needs plenty of sleep and good, full-body exercise: dance, track, softball, tennis - whatever appeals to her.
She needs some private one-on-one chats with you. If you see her starting to rage, you can pull her aside and ask her the same kind of questions that you would want to be asked Affirm her woman-hood, but teach her how to practice self-control so that her woman-hood isn't offensive to others.
As far as affirming her woman-hood, that may be as simple as a more sophisticated hair cut, some wardrobe changes, or giving her some personal responsibilities (like teaching her to do her own laundry). She may need extra privacy, she may need to live out a dream, like volunteering at the animal shelter or raising money for the homeless.
She probably isn't aware of how awful she is behaving, so you need to clarify it for her. But rather than treat her like a kid, try to come up with appropriate responses that are heading more in the adult-to-adult direction.
2007-07-12 06:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by sparki777 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've taught nine year olds for eight years, many girls go through this pre-puberty stage. Talk to her about her attitude, ask her what she think is an appropriate way to behave, and what you expect of her. If you can't get to her now she will be a disaster by the time she turns 13 and the hormones have taken over. Watch her favorite t.v. shows with her, sometimes girls act like the snots they watch on t.v. Analyze the situations you see in t.v. and talk to her about appropriate behavior. I agree getting to know her best friends might give huge insight. Plan a get together or sleep over to see how they behave. She says she doesn't care but she's acting out for attention, and she really needs your love and guidance. She's getting older, and thinks she's grown up, but she's probably really scared and unsure of the new her.
2007-07-12 10:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by Carol R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very possible she is learning this behavior from friends. But also consider that she could be starting puberty. It seems extremely early, but it's becoming more and more common for kids to start puberty at 8 or 9. Watch for any physical changes to see if this is the case. Good luck.
P.S.- Good book, go to Amazon.com, search for "The Care and Keeping of You." It's an American Girls book, it's about bodily changes, geared towards 8 - 10 year old girls.
2007-07-12 05:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal and I remember as a child wanting to bump into women just to feel what a boob felt like. I never actually had the nerve to do it, but I thought about it. I LOVE BOOBS to this day, and I'm a somewhat *normal*, healthy grown up with a loving husband, kids and stepkids. So yeah, it's just a phase. Talk to her, tell her you know she's curious and anxious about growing up, but reassure her that there is no hurry, her time will come, and in the meantime, quit "feeling" up people. That behavior is not acceptable. I do like the idea of buying her a bra and making sure it's itchy....LOL....I would love to NOT have to wear a bra nowadays, they are so uncomfortable! LOL Good Luck!
2016-03-15 02:57:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the pre-teen years. It's normal. She's changing. You just have to stand your ground and keep the effects of adolesence to a minimum. In other words: choose your battles and make sure you win on the important ones. As long as she is doing what she's told, let her have all of the attitude she wants. Don't give into her and she'll learn that a bad attitude won't get her anywhere.
2007-07-12 05:43:21 · answer #5 · answered by Bon Mot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
welcome to puberty mom!
isn't it fantastic!!
My daughter and all her friends went through the same thing and I hate to say it but it doesn't get better for a while.
She is becoming her own person with her own opinions and yours well frankly doesn't matter some days.
Just be patient-keep the punishment -she will eventually get it. Mine did. But the attitude, it will keep coming-just let her know who's boss. But also kep in mind her body is changing and going through some things and sometimes you are just going have to take it witha grain of salt and ignore it.
Good luck
2007-07-12 06:13:35 · answer #6 · answered by Willow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, I agree with the person above me. The same thing happened to my son at the same age and I believe it was due to the neighborhood children. I guess they learn that the nice kid finishes last at an early age now. They are under a lot of pressure to "fit in". I confronted my son about his attitude and he broke down in tears. It is hard being a kid today. Just give her a big hug and tell her you are there for her, while staying firm with your discipline.
2007-07-12 05:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by lissie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am still going through the same thing with my daughter. Her pediatrician told me all of her "symptoms" before I did. He just laughed and said all little girls about this age go through the same thing. I guess it's normal and we have to just deal!! Sorry.
2007-07-13 10:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by msjsjm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just going through puberty, that always happens.
2007-07-12 06:15:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would start with her friends, she could be reacting to peer pressure!! it can make kids to all kinds of bad stuff. but whatever you do dont give up on her, let her know that you are there for her no matter what she does or says and stand your ground with your punishment!!
2007-07-12 05:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by mom of 3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋