He said he's afraid of me because he knows he'll get strung out on me?

Question

Now how am I supposed to take that.

I knew him for yrs. He's a 47 y.o. man, no kids, we had interest in each other since we met but never got together bcz he was always involved with someone. He changed GFs alot since I've known him, he always lives with these women. We lost contact, went separate ways, we're good friends, recently we spent time together & he shot a comment or 2 about "us" & said he "isnt ready for the pressure" I'd put on him. Said he makes it a point not to get alone in "close quarters" with me bcz he knows he wont be able to control himself. Said he'll have me strung out & knows he'll wind up strung out on me too. Last night he said that is why he doesnt take things further bcz he "isnt trying to get strung out". Said he'd visit me, "bend & twist me a little bit" & go home.

Am I to think he has real feelings for me but is just scared? Or am I to take this as he just has a sexual interest & friendship & nothing serious, like commitment?

Answer 1

You'd be a booty call, sweetie. Is that what you want?

Answer 2

Given his history, it could be that he doesn't feel like getting too wrapped up in people, so it could be true. But when a guy says stuff like that, it usually means that he would want to have a sexual relationship with you, but nothing more. Sort of sounds like that whole thing of "He's just not that into you." I mean, he probably likes you as a person and thinks you're cute...otherwise he wouldn't talk about bending and twisting you. That doesn't sound half bad, huh? ;-)

Seriously, just don't take everything he says too literally. If you feel like messing with his mind and being super flirty, you can say something like, "Yeah, well you don't wanna know what I'd do to YOU if I got you alone in a room!" If you're interested in a purely sexual relationship with him, why not give it a shot? But if you're thinking that he would want to have a full relationship with you, just beware.

Answer 3

That's all he wants is a "friend with benefits" from you. He thinks he knows you too well and to get too close to you will involve a commitment of marriage as an end result. He doesn't want to give that a chance of happening. Do what you want with him if you're happy or not with the situation you have. He's only afraid of getting overly close, and if you're pushing for that, then you'll push him away.

Answer 4

You should pay attn to the warning signs sweetie. He's had multiple r'ships...all where he lives the person...and probably ends up wreaking havoc on their lives. No, he's not scared. He's trying to say he knows his own weaknesses and patterns in r'ships and that he cares for you too much as a FRIEND to do that to you. He know he'll just use you for sex then leave and hurt you. So - he's actually trying to save you from himself! And you should be happy about that. You need to be with a more mature, healthier person who CAN be in a good r'ship.