What does true christian forgiveness look like to you?

Question

I struggled with this one for years. I was violently sexually abused By my Father who is an elder in the Jehovah's Witnesses..I have prayed for years for
God to show me what forgiveness for something like this is supposed to be like.
I finally have come to the revilation that I do not wish on him or anyone else to go to hell. I hope that he can get reconciled with God, but I never want to hear from him or speak to him EVER, and I still have some rage....
How do some of you work through issues and come to forgiveness?

Fireball...of corse you don't...i wouldn't expect you to.

Diamond...Interesting response...No family aunts uncles grandparents siblings left...All sirviving family in the cult..MOM..She is the daughter of a pedophile and from my point of view, she is so mentaly ill, that she was not capible of protecting her children...Dad..as far as I know, Still an elder and still a pedophile...Brought up on accusation in his own Kingdom Hall locally about 15 years ago but none of the children would testify....I did try to sue...I did go to the authorities...Too long ago and no witnesses to the crimes...The best part in all of this is that I got to confromt him in front of the family and it was so good to be able to stand over him and rage at him....the rest I have to leave in the hands of God...I can do no more...It could drive me crazy worrying about him harming another child like he abused me...I pray for them all....I am one of the very few absolutely and completely disfellowshipped people that I have ever met....There is no contact what so ever at all

Answer 1

Danny's thoughts-

The straight scoop on 'forgiveness' vs the subterfuge of indulgence .
What is justifiable anger?
What is indulgence?
What is forgiveness?

A much quoted phrase from Jesus sermon on the mount at Matthew the 5th chapter :"turn the other cheek,there's a better world waiting for the meek".."love your enemies".

Jesus also stated in that same sermon,"do not give what is holy to dog's,neither cast your pearls before swine,lest they turn about and rip you open".

Another example of Jesus that the,be indulgent no matter what apologist will use is the case of Jesus forgiving those who nailed him to the cross.He said; "Father,forgive them for they no not what they are doing".
Jesus here is talking about the ignorant Roman soldiers who were just carrying out official orders and didn't know what they were doing".

Know this!This same Jesus went on to eternally damn Judas his apostle.He said "it would have been a finer thing if Judas had not even been born" and condemned him as the "son of destruction"

What about the grievance protocol for reconciling differences at Matthew 18:15?

Jesus outlined the steps to settle differences and stated "if your brother repents you must forgive him".

There lies the key,you cannot grant blanket amnesty (indulgence) to a willful unrepentant perpetrator as they are gonna stab you in the back again first chance they get, and revile you as a dumb *** for letting yourself be suckered.

Because psychopaths and sociopaths are wicked,amoral and cannot change.

http://www.freeminds.org/psych/psych.htm

Answer 2

"Love your enemies. Love those hating you." That's pretty big!

You're father is a pedophile.You owe it to the world to get this sick man away from potential victims. Find a way to track down other victims and gather them to make a case against him. Find those that are old enough that they don't need parental permission to testify. Justice WILL be done one way or another!

You know that God will not let him into that paradise that he believes in. Hell wouldn't fix what's wrong with him. He needs a new brain. It's pretty much incurable otherwise. Is your mom around? Does your Mom know that she married a pedophile? What does she think of how he hurt you? If she's in denial, then I guess she'll know someday. She'd have to deal with the fact that he wasn't so faithful as he portends. He's probably not the perfect husband if he's violent. You might have issues to deal with regarding your relationship with her as well like why she didn't protect you. You are probably mad at everyone you told that didn't believe you or want to act. You will have to take up your issues with them too. How are things with your siblings, family friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins? Would any of them lend support?

There's probably a support group for abuse victims ot help you realize that you are not alone in this struggle. You're rage is sort of good for you to a point because it helps you deal with all the grief you feel. At least you feel something and you don't have to stay stuck with all the acting out that they talk about. Don't let it define you.

You are a survivor! Be proud of that!

The only problem with cutting off all communications is that you probably haven't had a chance to tell him what he did to you and how it made you feel. You haven't been able to tell him about your conflicted love/hate feelings. That might be enough but maybe you could even try to find the part of him that you still love and separate that part from the part of him that is a pedophile. Maybe he's even hoping to get caught but he can't admit it even to himself what he has done. Maybe he was abused when he was little. Once you've done your best to find the needed closure, you can finally let it go. It wasn't your fault but you have scars that need healing through the years. God bless you child of God.

God is Love. Hell is not something he would even dream of. Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. He forgives eternally. Hell is not part of any of that. I say it is a state of mind and a place you go to when you can't let go of your problems. Sometimes you have to adapt to find your way out. God will through you a line anytime! I believe it! The Catholics say that Jesus went to hell before he was raised up. Maybe we just have the meaning wrong.

Answer 3

The phrase "forgive and forget" is not found in the Bible. However, there are numerous scriptures commanding us to "forgive" one another (Matthew 6:14; Ephesians 4:32). A Christian who does not forgive can reap bitterness and the loss of eternal rewards (Hebrews 12:14-15; 2 John 1:8). Forgiveness is a decision of the will. Since God commands us to forgive, we must make a conscious choice to forgive. This frees the forgiving one from the past. The "offender" may not desire forgiveness and may not change (Matthew 5:44). Ideally the offender will seek reconciliation, but if not, the one wronged should still make known their decision to forgive.

In some senses, it is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively "delete" events from our memory. The Bible states that God does not "remember" our wickedness (Hebrews 8:12). God is all-knowing. God knows that occurred. However, having forgiven us, He treats us as if the sin had not occurred. God does not hold our sins against us. In that sense we must "forgive and forget." If we forgive someone, we must act as if that sin had never occurred. We remember the sin, but we live as if we did not remember it. Ephesians 4:32 tells us, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Recommended Resource: The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley.

Answer 4

God led me out of an abusive marriage. I have not have been given any bitterness in my heart. If I communicate approximately this time in my existence it is merely to assist others or to deliver glory to God, yet in any different case my concepts does not save going back there and that i've got faith no bitterness. yet while God spoke of as me out of that relationship, could he then tell me to reconcile? If that have been the case then he does not have led me to divorce. So, does that advise i'm incapable of genuine forgiveness with out returning to my previous husband? i do no longer think of so. i comprehend i'm making this completely own, yet while your pastor became into suitable, then anybody who did no longer return to their previous better half does not be residing in forgiveness. merely does not make experience. it is genuine, that with genuine forgiveness, it is going to become much less painful and the seen seeing somebody who harm you is long gone or much less. you will possibly no longer desire to restart your friendship for solid reason, yet while the assumption of it is extra advantageous than you are able to undergo, then you definately will possibly no longer have rather forgiven. i stumble on that forgiving brings healing. while there is not any healing, there is not any forgiveness.

Answer 5

Let go and let God. People tend to see one side of forgiveness, the perpetrator's redemption. But forgiveness has two sides because it is just as much vital for the person who is doing the forgiving, as it lifts the burden off of our shoulders and cast them at the Lord's feet who is more than able and willing to carry our load. Not forgiving, which means "forgetting" will create a monkey on our back that will eventually crush our faith. No one and nothing is worth giving that power to!

Answer 6

The forgiveness is seperate from the feelings of rage or hurt.
You may never get over these feelings 100% even if you have forgave.
The best you can do is let you words and actions lead you. Let others see you have let the Holy Spirit guide your steps.
This is a way let your light shine around to others and inspire them to Christ as well.

Answer 7

Forgiveness on your end, doesn't necessarily mean you have to talk to him. It means, in your heart, you have no hatred left. I do think its ok to be angry, how can you not be. But in time, God even heals that.

I know what you are talking about, have been there myself. All I can tell you is that its a work in progress, it doesn't happen overnight and God will heal you in the speed only you can take.

Without God, I couldn't forgive mine.

Answer 8

I am sorry to hear that about you. Been there myself. For me, forgiving my parents was the hardest thing to live through. But it was the right decision because both my parents have changed. I didn't want them to die and have this be a unspoken issue. I wanted them to deal with their own issues with God. And I believe they have because they both, to my surprise, act and react differently towards me. It was a good decision to bring it out.
As for you, you don't have to talk to him ever again. You forgave him, and really that's all you owe to him. Just don't hang on to being bitter, it really is a true burden. Forgive, don't forget!

Answer 9

We must truly forgive ppl for the things they have dont to us...b/c if we dont forgive others has is GOD to forgive us. God will heal you heart..seek his face and ask him to help you with this unforgiveness you are holding!

I pray that you over come this..with love in Christ...christina

Answer 10

True Christian forgiveness looks like Jesus allowing his enemies to crucify him, and then saying "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

To work through issues and come to forgiveness means praying to God and seeking the Grace of God because, humanly speaking, it isn't possible.

My prayers go with you, sweetheart. God bless.