My fiance' and I want a traditional wedding in a church~
we are not practicing members anywhere, and each one we've found that was really pretty and we liked, they tell us NO you have to be a member!?? I don't think that's very christian... what do we do? what CAN we do?? (Trying to get in for October 6, '07)
2007-07-12 03:19:28 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That is really sad that they would say that.
I would find out what the requirements are to become a member, and if they are reasonable, go ahead and become a member, then get married there. Then decide afterward if you want to remain a member or not.
Other than that, I have no idea besides keep looking around for someone that will let you get married there.
2007-07-12 03:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 3⤊ 6⤋
The only thing you could do is join a church and then get married. But some churches require you to take a marriage class. Or keep try different churches and see if they will marry you without being a member. This might mean using a different form,example would be a Lutheran Catholic rather then a Roman Catholic.
Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2007-07-12 03:39:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be offended by the churches telling you no. It's a part of their policies for many reasons and they are just sticking to it. A friend of mine had the same issue. They were not church members anywhere but really wanted to get married in a church. A lot of places told them the same thing, they had to be members. They did however find a female minister at a beautiful Episcopal church that would marry them, no questions asked. So my advice is to keep calling around. If still no luck consider marrying at other places that give a similar traditional feeling, such as historic estate homes and buildings. Good luck and Congratulations!
2007-07-12 03:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by justagirl 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Some churches allow non-members to be married in them. They usually require you to speak with the Minister and take a few marriage classes. I think that a Minister can refuse to marry you if he thinks it is a bad idea. Try United Methodist Church and First Christian Church.
You will also be expected to pick up the cost of clean up, the Minister, organist, etc. Cost depends on where you live. Members usually also must pay for these services just not quite as high as non-members. Good Luck!
2007-07-12 05:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by Ruth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TOTALLY agree with BestAdviceChick. Do not think low of the churches you've inquired upon just because they won't allow you to come in and use their church for your wedding. You can't use a country club or even most clubhouses if you aren't a member or don't live in the neighborhood most of the time. I also think it's a good tactic in a way for the church to basically let these couples know that a church is more than just a place to have a wedding in and if you want to use their church, you need to explore everything their church is about. With that said, there ARE congregations out there that will allow you to use their church for a fee. I belong to a church but we don't have a "building" yet...we're trying to find land to build so we had nowhere to hold our ceremony. I was able to use another chapel for a $300 donation. Be patient and most of all, understanding. Good luck!
2007-07-12 03:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any family or friends that attend a church? Perhaps that is a key, as I've known a handfull of people who haven't gone to a church, but were allowed to be married there because family members or friends did attend the church. Keep looking, I'm sure there are a few somewhere, but if you'd rather get married in your fist pick, perhaps start attending the church & after that express that you'd like to get married there.
2007-07-12 10:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by layla983 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Included in all Church weddings are a number of promises you vow during that ceremony, including the promise to live your marriage in eyes of God and follow His teachings in how you interact with each other and any children that may occur as a result of this marriage. If you do not practice your faith anywhere, the Church believes that you cannot honestly make these promises during the service and as such they cannot marry you. There are many who just want a pretty location or to please an elderly relative and if the Church were to open its doors to anyone even if they had no faith or intention of living according to God's wishes, then the Church is not doing its duty to God.
Consider looking for a chapel that is part of a reception facility. These are not typically run by a traditional church denomination and much more easily obtained.
2007-07-12 03:31:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
There ARE churches that will marry you even if you aren't a member. Just keep looking. And please...don't get mad at the church. I mean, try to see it a little from their point of view. You haven't gone to church, let alone attended theirs....but you want this beautiful church wedding now that you're getting married? No - they're not going to let you use their beautiful building as a PROP in your fantasy wedding. A church is much more than a PLACE or VENUE for a wedding. When a christian couple choose their church, it's because they want a sacred ceremony dedicated to God. People who never go to church then suddenly want a church wedding to me are a bit hypocritical.
2007-07-12 03:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 0⤋
The Church that I attend doesn't make you be a member to have a wedding there that I know of. You should probably keep looking around. What area are you looking for?
2007-07-12 08:09:12 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are churches that will marry people who aren't members of the congregation, but you may need to keep looking a bit longer.
Of course, you could always look into what's required to become a member of a church you like.
2007-07-12 04:52:15 · answer #10 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not religious, then why would you want to get married in a church anyway? I don't understand why you're so offended over something you obviously didn't care about enough in the first place to join. Dollars to donuts says that you only want a church wedding because it's "traditional" and pretty, not because you want a religious ceremony or marriage.
The reason why you can't marry in a church is because you have to be members. The church wants you to join their congregation, attend Masses there and raise any children in their faith. They don't want you to have your wedding there, and then walk away and never return.
It's like joining a fraternity or sorotity ... you can't just walk into their sorority house and say, "Give me letters and a room," and then never participate in the organization. You need to pledge, rush, go through training and rituals and initiation, and then you need to stay a member afterwards and participate in the organization's activities and interact with everyone.
Also, there's only three months until October. A church wedding usually involves months of preparation and counseling and Pre-Cana. You can't just reserve a date and then only show up on that day. It takes time to show them that you're serious about a religious wedding, and more importantly, a religious marriage. Even if they did allow you to marry in the church, I very much doubt that they would let you marry three months from your acceptance date.
Bottom line - you don't have a leg to stand on here. Find another place to get married and quit whining.
2007-07-12 03:30:37 · answer #11 · answered by BeatriceBatten 7 · 10⤊ 2⤋