So, I'm getting married in Vegas in 2 months, and suddenly we found out our best man (my fiances' best friend) can't come to the wedding. The details aren't important, but he won't be there. I'm pretty annoyed considering we gave him a year and a half notice ahead of time, but the show must go on... My fiance has no siblings, and the only members of his family attending are his mother, father and step mother. His other friends may not even be able to come (everyon'es broke, I guess) and really the original best man is his closest friend and he doesn't want to make anyone else second choice. We have no other bridal party, only his friend and my sister were going to do it. What do I do?? Do we have his father as best man? Do we scrap the wedding party all together? What is the purpose of them anyway? Just to stand there? Can I have all of our guests stand (about 15 ppl) and gather around us?
2007-07-12 02:40:48 · 17 answers · asked by Cheryl W 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
umm, never said I was planning to scrap the wedding!
2007-07-12 02:58:09 · update #1
Ps, my dad is deceased, I should have mentioned that.
2007-07-12 02:58:53 · update #2
I should be "more understanding"? We told him about the wedding 18 months ago and offered to pay for his hotel room. I think that sounds pretty understanding. Jerk.
2007-07-12 02:59:58 · update #3
I think more info is needed. We live in Chicago. All of our family and alot of our friends live in Philadelphia. So either way, somebody was going to have to travel. It's a "destination wedding", yes, but anyway you slice it somebody was going to have to get on a plane.
2007-07-12 03:25:03 · update #4
His reason - he is an actor and is scheduled to be on a play. He didn't schedule said play until last month though.
2007-07-12 03:26:02 · update #5
Thanks to the helpful people. To the others, I don't think asking a 29 year old man to come to our wedding with his hotel paid for is too much to ask. His reasons are not financial. He scheduled something else 15 months AFTER we told him about our wedding. I don't think I am being unreasonable and trust me it's not drama.
2007-07-12 04:22:01 · update #6
I like the idea of the groom's father stepping in. I've seen plenty of weddings where the father of the groom is best man. Of all people, his father will definitely understand the situation and I highly doubt he will feel like second fiddle. I wouldn't scrap it all together, because your sister has been expecting to be in the wedding party even if it is small and that wouldn't be fair to her even though I'm sure she would understand. I think its lovely that your wedding will be intimate and small and I hope that your fiance and his best friend can find a way to work through this without damaging their relationship. I have to admit, I'm curious as to what his reason for not attending the wedding is. With a year and a half notice, I would hope its an emergency of some kind. Anyway, best of luck on your marriage!
2007-07-12 03:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow with friends like that your man is so lucky. You should be fine. In Nevada only one person signs the marriage certificate. I know this because I did it for my friends when they got married in Vegas. This was years ago now, so things could have changed. Just have your friend sign the certificate and you're good to go. If all your friends and family and in Philly, have you thought about getting married in PA? I'm not saying change your whole wedding if you have your heart set on Vegas but there is a great chapel and officiant in Stroudsburg, which is only a couple of hours by car from town. Rev. Hary is great. It's just a suggestion. good luck.
2007-07-12 12:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to think that if anyone would understand the situation, it would be your fiance's father. I know if this were my situation, my husband's father would know that things happen and wouldn't feel hurt if he chose his dad to fill in as best man. Usually the groom will have the father anyway if he doesn't have a brother or really close friend. I would ask the father.
2007-07-12 09:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We are having a destination wedding, and opted not to have any bridal party. They aren't a necessity, so if its causing you this much trouble, maybe you should scrap it altogether. Anyone present can sign as a witness.
When you have a destination wedding, you have to be ready for the fact that few will attend-including closer friends and family. This is one of the drawbacks (or bonuses, depending on your point of view) of having a destination wedding.
2007-07-12 09:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Originally I didn't want the best man or maid of honor. Just have your family around you, it a Vegas wedding, who says it has to be traditional in any respects. Just let his father hold the rings, and have everyone invited who can stand up, be around you.
2007-07-12 11:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by no_frills 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The original point of having attendants was that they would act as witnesses to the marriage.
As long as you have two witnesses who are willing to sign the certificate, it doesn't matter what role they play in the wedding.
I think it would be nice to have his father stand in as best man, but it would also be quite acceptable to have no wedding party at all.
2007-07-12 11:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make his father the best man and stop the drama.
So he can make it, he gave you advance notice. No one doesn't want to attend just to "ruin" yoru day, I'm sure that the person had his reasons for not being able to attend.
That's the thing about destination wedding, not everyone has $1000 under their mattress to run off to be in a one day party and stop the world and their obligations. Things happen.
Good luck
2007-07-12 11:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Having his dad stand in would work. What it comes down to is, you're probably not the most conventional bride, or you wouldn't have planned it in Vegas. So do whatever makes the two of you happy. Just tell the best man where you're registered! :)
2007-07-12 12:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by Allison L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just breathe, keep what you have and nix the Best Man all together. You don't have to have any even numbers or anything like that. If your Maid of Honor has a significant other that can make it, perhaps he can step in.
2007-07-12 10:25:29 · answer #9 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, have his dad step in. Because it would look kinda lonely for your bridesmaid to be up there all alone...
Anyway, his dad doesnt have to do anything, and he can just wear the suit he was planning on wearing as guest. Seems like a simple solution.
2007-07-12 09:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋