about 6 months before having my IUD removed. I suffer from depression, especially after birth so we were afraid of that again since my meds have made me normal for over the last year. I never should have gone off of them when I became pregnant this time but I did, got depressed again, and went back on my meds just over a month ago. They are still not working all the way. I feel like we made a huge mistake and cannot even comprehend what we were thinking to conceive again. Im overflowing with worry. How can I take care of two kids when I get overwhelmed with just one? How will we go places like shopping with two kids? What about doctors appts? My 4yr old (girl) drives me nuts lately being loud and doing bad things almost on purpose and smiles about it. Im going to have to quit my part time job and end up staying home thanks to childcare exp. anyone go through this and can tell me a positve outcome? like how everything worked out? :) i fell like ive ruined our lives
2007-07-12 01:35:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Aw, hang in there. You will be alright. Pregnancy itself can bring on the worst in depression because of all the damned hormones flying round your body. I was an emotional wreck through both my pregnancies, and I have suffered with depression throughout my life on and off, with occasional need for meds.
I do understand the way you are feeling. Knowing another little person is about to come storming onto the scene is a massive thing to deal with when reality hits, and this is harder when you are already emotionally fragile.
Once the meds start working again, you should start feeling better. It's easier said than done, I know, but try to concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives. Your 4 year old will have a brother or sister to help take care of, which might just help with the 'driving you nuts' side of things. You'd be amazed how much a responsibility like that can be a positive thing on a child that age. She can be the really important big sister. She'll love that!
Join mother and toddler groups, if you aren't already part of some. This will help break up the days and ease some of the tedium and stress of being at home all day. It also gives you other mothers to moan to, as well as go out for daytrips with, or coffee mornings, etc. If possible, save the shopping trips until the weekend when your partner is around (if that's the situation). Taking kids shopping is an instant recipe for stress and disaster, and I avoid it at all costs! It only gets harder with 2 of them!
You haven't ruined your lives. You have enriched them. You have created another little life, who will bring you a completely different experience. You will be amazed at how different and individual your two children will be. You will be good parents, and you will have a happy life.
Chin up, and best of luck!
2007-07-12 03:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-19 23:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only part I can't relate to is the "planning"! My 2nd was VERY unexpected. I have had depression issues that are strongly connected to my hormonal levels. Before I was pregnant with my 1st (daughter) I tried several different types of anti-depressents to help. I was able to wean myself off and was fine for a few years. After I had my daughter about day 5 I has such severe anxiety, depression and was so scared out of my mind that it was back and it was never going to leave! My doctor recommended-and filled out a prescription for Prozac. I was nursing my daughter- so I really pushed myself to not take it. Good idea? Bad Idea? I'll never know! Maybe those first few weeks might have been easier on me.. but eventually my hormones leveled out and I became my semblance of 'normal' =).
When I found out I was pregnant (my daughter was only 5 months old!) I was petrified. I didn't want to go throught that emotional rollacoaster- nor did I feel like I was ready for another one. Could I love the second as much as the first? Could I take care of two small children? How could I do anything? Go shopping? Work- do I stay home now?
My 2nd is now 1 1/2! I can tell you all my worries were definately unwarrented. I couldnt' beleive it.. this time around- I didn't experience the same hormonal drop. A few days of baby blues and that was it. You might be fine the second time around! Sometimes just a slight change in the hormonal level can really make a difference in a womans life. I personally wonder if there's such a big difference in the hormonal levels your body produces with a girl then with a boy. (my 2nd is my son).
Also I worried about being overwhelmed. I can tell you- there will be times you will be overwhelmed- but there are times you are just as overwhelmed with one! All kids have there 'days'- and likewise so will you- but I can tell you- there's such a joy in having two! There will be the days you will be so happy in you decision- and you will get into a groove with two. You'll learn the best ways to take them out- the times to take them out- who to take them out with. I am a sahm (stay at home mom) now, and there are days it is a bit tough (my oldest, daughter, is a SPITFIRE! and going through the upper 2's!) so there are da you will need to get out of the house- sometimes when my husband gets home from work, I go grocery shopping ALONE- just for a break.=) You'll need some me time- but again, you needed all this while just having one too ify ou were at home all the time.
You'll enjoy having two- just as much as one- you will find some frustration- but you'll find equally if not more joy in raising two kids. I personally do not think you will regret your decision- you've made another beautiful baby- =)
If you don't feel like yourself and need the meds- than take them! If it doesn't seem to help, then ask them to switch the dosage, the kind of maybe even combine until you feel like the wonderful mother you are and are going to be!
2007-07-12 02:30:28 · answer #3 · answered by LuvMy2Kids 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had those moments and still have them from time to time, but I would try to look at the brighter side of the whole thing.
First the two vs. one problem, lots of people say 1 plus 1 is more than 2, but that phase will pass very soon (perhaps not that quick as you want it to be) but eventually, they will become best friends, and get each other companied. Then both your husband and you will be free. They will feel less lonely and helpless, because You provide them with siblings.
Then, about children. Yes, they are lots of work, but you can enjoy them if you choose to. I have my mood swings, and sometimes they are so bad. Kids are very forgetful, mom is always mom. they love you so much. Also, I try to be understanding about what they are experiencing, from you womb to this world is the biggest change everyone has to experience. then so much are going on around them everyday, don't you think they deserve more forgiveness and understanding as well? Having these as my starting points. I feel better and can see the light through the tunnel.
One day, they will grow up and be grateful, and you will be happy about today's choice.
Also, I am constantly inspired by their eagerness of learning new things and their pureness of explanation of things around them. Just enjoy the life with them. I indeed enjoy every moment of my life with my two boys of 1.5 and 3 years old.
2007-07-12 02:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by JaneHappySummer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Arrest the son-of-a-***** who thinks it's cute to screw a 10 year old, and put him away for a VERY long time. Then I'd drag the family into family counseling, because a 10-year-old who is engaging in this kind of behavior is so off the wall, the whole family must be screwed up. And the baby goes up for adoption, if the doctor feels she can safely carry it to term. Personally, though, I'd be opting for an abortion. Sorry, but a 10 year old doesn't get to make decisions like this. Motherhood does not instantly convey common sense.
2016-03-19 06:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving birth to a new life is indeed a blessing which almost every woman would wish to have. How to get pregnant naturally https://tr.im/preventinfertility
Enjoying the feeling of motherhood and raising a family would surely be a couple’s dream. Some get it naturally, while for some others things don’t seem to work as they desire. These reasons which stop a women from conceiving can be due to either physical reasons or truly physiological.
2016-01-13 19:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, don't worry hun it's all going to work out just fine. Once you lay your eyes on that prescious baby you will know that you have in fact enriched your lives and not ruined them. I think every mom wonders how she could possibly handle another child, whether its their second...third...fourth...etc. It's pretty natural. You will just make the necessary adjustments and in no time you'll think about how unfullfilled your lives were before baby #2 arrived.
Best of luck!!! Hang in there, I'm sure this will NOT be something you'll regret in the future.
2007-07-12 01:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋