i haven't seen my dad in 2 yrs. He's never seen my daughter who is 1 now. Why? because there was a lot of family issues like money and my parents saying my daughter wasn't my husbands because they just didn't like him so they were mean to him. Well my mom recently called and would like myself the baby and my husband to go to their house for a visit. her b-day was yesterday and this is all she would like from us as her b-day gift. She says my dad often cries because he hasn't seen my daughter, but yet he is so stubborn he won't call me to tell me that! Anyway i want to go see them today and my husband is as stubborn as my dad is and says why should we go over there after all they"ve done.(ex: missing our wedding never calling on my birthday or my daughters etc....) I still love my parents and my heart is breaking, my dad has a really bad heart and i want him to see our child before its to late! my husband dosen't care! he will stop me if i try to go myself! What should i do! HELP!!!!!!!
2007-07-12 01:34:38 · 15 answers · asked by greenmarkalyssa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, you are a grown-up and you make your own decisions. No one can prevent you from doing what you want to. Secondly, you need to tell your husband that these are your parents, and this rift has been breaking your heart for awhile now. Tell him that, while it hurt you that they did what they did, you would really like to get past it. They seem to want to apologize and you would like to give them this chance because if you don't and something happens it would haunt you forever and make you REALLY unhappy and does he want that. Then tell him that you understand if he isn't ready to forgive them, but you want to try. Then get your *** in the car and go see them.
2007-07-12 05:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by Liza S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IThink you should talk to your husband in detail about the entire situation. I understand how your dad and parents let go the " opportunity and fine moments" if your life but there's always one thing and you cannot deny the fact that " they are your parents and you are in this world because of them " you should respect their desires first of all but if for some reason, there were mean to you, do you think two wrongs will make it right? i guess not ..... Since they’ve realized their mistake or at least miss their daughter and want to share her happiness at this point, I think that's a blessing. And if you get your parents blessing, trust me you guys will be much better off in your life and after life-
Parents are parents. .... talk to your husband and make him understand how much you love your husband and left your parents just to be with him and he should now understand what ‘s your happiness and how much it means to you to be with your parents along with your “FAMILY” ( you , your husband and the baby” to complete the “circle of happiness” . You do want to have parents and husband's love in your life and there's nothing wrong -He should love the things you love and care and belong to! Your roots and your existence is because of your parents and no one can replace our parents. I don’t say that if that being a parent , gives them the right to be always right but if they want you back in their life and accepting you with your “Family” you guys need to move forward with open heard and arms!
I'm sure he would understand caz now he's a daddy too and just put yourself in the same situation and see if you your daughter had done something without your consent or liking, you will be mad as well but she will remain your daughter, the love you have for her as parents might fade but will never go away! now when they want you guys back, forget about the old days when they missed your special moments" make sure you guys at least don't create circumstance to let them miss more precious moments ,,joy and happiness" Give them the opportunity to love and cherish each and every moment ………………
Best wishes,
2007-07-12 06:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by Broken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is your husband going to stop you from seeing your family? Regardless of how your family treats you, he doesn't have any right to just stop you from seeing your family. If your family is indifferent, or hard to get along with or whatever that is one thing, but unless they were like literally going to kick your * or something there's no logical reason he should try to stop you. It's a loosing battle because he is as much of the problem as they are.
The part about your father being upset and their general regret about not being there for you and your child earlier sounds about right; perhaps they didn't like your husband, for whatever reason , but I can see why.
2007-07-12 01:42:30 · answer #3 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why your husband feels the way he does. and I can understand why your family would like to see you all now. This is a tough call, What do your guts tell you to do? If it were me, I would try to explain to my husband that even though your family has done what they've done, That you could not live with yourself if you didnt go see your dad, and he died tomorrow. you should be able to go see your family regardless, it is the only one you will ever have, and if you don't, then how you gonna feel when he does die and you didn't take the time to see him when you could of.?
2007-07-12 01:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Had similar situation.
I resolved it this way.
I called my dad, then told him how much I love him and that I too want him to have a relationship with my child.
Then, when he though he had scored some points, I told him that I want to visit him but ONLY if my husband will be welcome also...
He thought about my proposal for two months or so, and eventually, when I called him again, he invited us all for a Sunday out.
Meanwhile, I told my husband what I had told my dad, and when he thought he had scored some points, I told him that we WERE going to visit my dad, with or without him.....
Got him thinking for some days and eventually, by the time that the invitation came, the two men were ready to face one another....
It never heals up totally, but the two men in my life now knows what the score is, and they behave...
2007-07-12 01:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a little odd, prohibiting you from visiting your own family.
I don't see why your husband thinks he has a right to control where you go and what you do?
It's not a crime to visit your family even if there have been problems in the past. every family has big issues, yours isn't unique.
I hope things work out.
2007-07-12 02:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am soory for all the pain,but u have tro talk to ur husband and use the best way u know to convince him, rem ur child needs ur fathers blessings and that is very important. forgiveness is very important at this point, remind your husband that even though his father inlaw is sturbborn it does not change the fact that he is older and the grandfather to the child. if he keeps on holding on to the past it is him who will hurt the most not your father, since he will always be carrying that resentment in him. try and make amends first dont leave without consulting your husband rem he is ur childs father too. take ur time and think this out, its a vital step in ur life.
2007-07-12 01:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by sally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u want to heal the relationship with ur dad, meet him alone & sort out the probs b4 u bring ur baby to meet him & ur husband. i do think u & ur husband should be united in this (whichever way) & show a strong bond & unison so ur folks know they cant cause discord between the 2 of you - best of luck ,families r very complex !!
2007-07-12 02:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by janine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u guys are mature adults..u guys need a discussion and stop this immiturity especially for the baby.. ur dad needs to accept the fact that he has a granddaughter and he cant change that..and also ur married to the man u love..and he should come to an understanding..ur husband should think abt ur baby b4 thinking abt his problems with ur dad..and let the child go see her grandparents
2007-07-12 01:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some one has to be strong enough to forgive this bad behavior and bring this family together.hmmmm Perhaps its the baby,,,,,,be strong enough to love your parents before its to late K...sometimes it takes a innocent child to overcome these types of problems...
2007-07-12 01:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋