Need some help/advice with this!?

Question

I'm working on myself and my relationships with others. How can I be a better me, or a better person to others? How do I expand, and branch out of the normal people I usually associate with? I want to meet different kinds of people, especially men, just to see where it goes, potential dating. My past relationships have been emotionally abusive, so I'm trying to develope myself more as a person, become more well rounded, gain more confidence and build my self esteem back up, and get to know more people and personalities, hoping to eventually have a real and healthy relationship with a guy that actually treats me right for once. How do I do all these things? How do I develope myself more? Thanks for any input.

Answer 1

thats good you're trying to do that! i do that too..

what i do is...

i evaluate myself and find out what went wrong in all these situations.. what i did wrong.. what i need to fix..

and then i find out how to fix the flaws and polish/develop myself

theeeeeeeen i take steps on accomplishing them. baby steps would be good too. its all up to you how you do it, as long as it gets you there! just dont do anything to hurt yourself, hehe!

Answer 2

Congratulations on your new found vitality for life and everything it has to offer. A journey begins simply with a single step and you have definitely taken your first step toward the new you.

Taking up new activities is a great way to broaden your horizons and potentially expand your social network. Consider activities that you have wanted to get involved with that may also have a social aspect about them. A few that come to mind: Amateur Theater Productions, Nature Walking Groups, Church or other Spiritual Centers, Sporting Activities (if you are athletic), Book Clubs (if you are more passive) just to name a few. Check your local library for notices about upcoming activities, get the catalog from your local college for their next semester. Most colleges offer a stream of short courses each semester.

Check amazon.com or similar sites for books on self help.

Finding the right man for a healthy and fulfilling relationship is definitely harder (as I am sure you already know). Have you tried asking your friends for recommendations? Not their cast offs but good guys who would make a great catch (married friends seem to always know a great guy they would like to set up with a great gal). You never know if you don't ask. After all a guy who comes with a recommendation must have the advantage over a guy whose history you have no clue about.

I wish you bright blessings and many wonderful experience as you travel along your path to enlightenment. Congratulations on your new direction. Take Care!

Answer 3

Congratulations!!!! Just look nice and put yourself into new situations. Never go overboard with the se#y outfits. Guys that go for that are only looking for se#. There is a big difference between being se#y and and looking like a slu*. Always be polite and considerate.

Go places that you would not ordinarily go. Join clubs and organizations that have the potential for meeting people that have like interests.

Never let anyone put you into a situation that you feel uncomfortable in. Watch for "Red Flags" such as guys that are demanding, too needy, jealous, brag too much, borrow money a lot, feels the need to carry weapons, pushy, talks too much about se#, doesn't want to know too much about you, ignores you when in conversations with other people (especialy men), expects you to do eveything, wants se# too quickly, tells you that he loves you very early in the relationship, agrees with everything you say, etc...

Watch for good characteristics just as being a good listener, interesting, good sense of humor, respectful, sensitive to your and other people's feelings, asks your opinions, voluntarily does things for you, not pushy, not arrogant, expresses interest in what you like to do, etc...

If it feels wrong, it probably is. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Mainly, just take your time. Get to know the guy very well before giving your heart. Always watch the way he treats other people, it is a reflection of how you will be treated. Always feel confident in yourself, and remember that you deserve someone that will love and respect you.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

Well, that's good that u r developing u'r self.If u want to meet more friends chatting is the primary option.But if u want to meet physically, then i suggest join the clubs,or get membership of inner sports club,there u will find so many strangers to interact with.Last option is travelling.Go for a long journey and u will definately find there people with whom u can expand u'r relationship.

Answer 5

have guidlines or boundaries already in place before you go into a relationship. you know what is and is not acceptable to you. date all diffrent kinds of guys and you will be suprised if you feel good about yourself, the higher quality guys you will attracked.

Answer 6

well,.... don't get me wrong, but if you dont already, i think you should go to church. there are lots of groups there, and guys. Not only are there usually lots of options, but MOST of the guys that go to church will treat you like you should be!
hope that helps :D
-M

Answer 7

well you need to heal.. and be picky when you do seriously date again.. and when you in a abusive relationship it is nothing you could have done or said different it is them...

Answer 8

you go out more, go beyond your usual circle of friends, meet new people, join groups, interact with more people.