We've dated for 9 months. Since the beginning, I've handled him lying. Now I'm fed up with his unreliability. He always says he'll come over. Then he doesn't. Later, he expects me to trust him. It seems he makes promises and completely forgets them. I've told him numerous times how much it irritates me to wait around expecting him. Then he cries so I give in, allowing him to repeat the act. I don't even think he cares. Also, he plans to work on a boat for his career. That means he'll be gone 24 hour days, 2 weeks a month. He wants to have a family. I don't think it's fair to children or to me that he wouldn't be there. It's sick that he's planning ahead at not being there for his kids. I don't want a babysitter to raise my children. I couldn't work if he couldn't be around to be a parent. Why go to college if I can't have a career?
I love him. I'm unhappy because of him. Part of me thinks I should call for time out from this relationship. I doubt he'd care.
Please, I need advice!
2007-07-11 17:13:15 · 23 answers · asked by Alec 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm... Well my first thought is that you are both 2 completely different people with similar goals but, different views of achieving them. I do want to say though that very rarely are people with careers able to devote most of their time to their children, but anyway.... I do believe you need to seperate and let this relationship rest. I say this because I can only imagine the stress of getting married and THEN fighting about things that you already were disagreeing on. It's almost like like 2 people of 2 different religions and no one is going to give in, maybe compromise a little but, most of the time it has an unhappy ending, BEcause deep inside you're not satisfied. No one will find the perfect partner but, they can find the one that has the same frame of mind when it comes to dealing with weighty decisions and permanent plans for the future. Aside from this, I also feel you only stayed because of his emotinal acts of sadness and you felt pity. Believe me, this will find its end as you're already running out of it. Finally, broken promises are a sign of how much someone Doesn't value you and takes you for granted. Take a break, do some deep meditating, let him find his place as you find yours, pray if you believe in God, and then move forward in the meantime and make yourself a better person. Maybe someday your paths will cross again, and if they dont, then neither of you cheated the other one out of finding the right one. I hope the best for you.....
2007-07-11 17:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by Hannibooboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-08 03:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he does not care that much about you, or he is just into himself to much. I would say good bye and it's been fun. Yeah 9 month is a nice relationship, but if you can not trust him, then why bother. He is not the type of man you need in your life, you know this, feel this and see this. The best thing for you and your life is to move on. You will be a little sad for a while but it will get better and you will find a man that fits you and that you can rely on. All you are doing is making yourself sick worrying, you do not need that in your life.
2007-07-11 17:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to end it with him.
The dishonesty alone is reason enough, but you can add other things to that and it makes it worse.
He needs to grow up. That would be a good starting point. However this is a process that could take a very long time.
If I were you I would tell him goodbye and move on. There are too many better men out there. Find one of them.
2007-07-11 17:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the only person committed to this relationship is you. You dont think he'd care if you asked for a time out? That should tell you something! And if you cant trust him now, dont think that will get better after marriage because it wont!!!!!
2007-07-19 15:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by Angie O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like these ships in the night won't be passing by each other. Talk it out with him, if he can't even commit to being somewhere he's suppose to be at a certain day and time, how could you count on anything else from him. You guys aren't on the same page. Talk to him now and make a decision for you and your future children, At least you have foresight.
2007-07-11 17:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by sorri 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow ~ i'm in the same relationship ~ only 2 years later... i love him, but also unhappy... i left him a week ago and still unhappy. i guess what i'm saying is that he probably isn't someone that you can base your life on, especially if he is unreliable now. people don't change unless they want to or something drastic changes them, and you will spend your time raising your kids wondering where the hell he is... he may very well want to have you in his life, kids and all, but until he can come up with a better plan on how to sustain that life together, you're probably better off without...
2007-07-11 17:19:00 · answer #7 · answered by hello_beautiful_222 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Will you be more miserable without any of him or with the half of him you'll be getting?
It sounds like he is letting you know what his plan is so you can decide if it's how you want to live. If it's not, then get those feet a moving and walk away.
2007-07-19 16:15:32 · answer #8 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would end it because if he is going to work on a boat and be on there for 2 weeks and you not there he could have an afair and then he also wouldn't be there for your kids so I think you should end the relationship.
2007-07-11 17:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by CupCakeafer™ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he will delight in in case you do no longer use any prolonged emotional speeches or boost any uncooked themes,or use excuses basically be straightforward short and compassionate, do no longer use cliches basically sit down him down privately and clarify you think of there is themes interior the dating that cant be labored out and probably we would the two be happier going our separate techniques im going away for a twelve months and picture it may be too no longer undemanding to attempt and make this artwork long distance while issues are so no longer undemanding now im sorry,i think of its ultimate if we basically flow on do no longer say you like him/you will continually love him (care approximately him) i like somebody else/you do in contrast to me do basically no longer provide fake wish or disillusioned him anymore, the faster you do it the extra helpful decrease off touch its ultimate interior the long term reliable luck,
2016-11-09 02:25:10 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋