I have a mean face, but I'm not mean... what can I do (besides smile) to seem friendly?

Question

People always say (and I've been told by a guy friend) that I have one of those "don't bother me" faces. I guess this scares potential friends, enemies, and suitors away. I smile and say hello and that sort of thing. I'm also the kind of person who'll find the lost person and give them directions, that sort of thing. But I guess it's not enough, because my people-repellent is too strong. What can I do to make myself seem friendly and less intimidating?

I dress neatly, usually jeans, a dressy top and some flats. my hair looks decent, too. (btw i'm a girl so beards are out.)

Answer 1

OMG...I'm the same way. Everyone at the gym calls me "Serious" Apparently, if I'm not smiling I look very unapproachable. I smile and nod at anyone who I make eye contact with. Try to smile as much as possible ...that's the best advice I can give you.

Answer 2

I've been told this, too. You can try to smile incessantly, but this ages the face faster because of all the movement.

As well, if you have a friendly continence, it is sensed by those around you. People say I have a mean face, and they are smart, because I am pretty angry on the inside. Been through a lot.

Anyway, another thing to do to seem more friendly is make sure that you always completely face a person when you address them. Make sure that the whole front of your face, from ear to ear, is facing a person when you talk to them.

Answer 3

Sometimes people can put on those faces out of being shy. Could be you are subconsciously doing this to avoid conflicts.
In any case here is how to work around it. Always greet people with a smile ( as you are doing) AND look them in the eye. Greet them after you gain that eye contact. Shy people at times do not make eye contact and people can take that as " you are hiding something". Do not leave them with that impression. Last but not least, not only are you going to be yourself but work at being the person you want to be.
Keep in mind too that kindness can be taken as a sign of weakness by the ignorant but the wise will see the real strength in you when you display it.

Answer 4

It doesn't matter what a person looks like it is what is on the inside that counts. If you put out good vibes then people will see that you are friendly. I only have one eye and I feel like I am people-repellent too. Once a day, (to begin with) give someone a compliment and then progress to two and so on. I like to buy little purse packs of tissues and give them to the elderly who are sitting alone at the supermarkets and just be friendly saying hello and asking how they are feeling.

Answer 5

Ugh, I have the same problem! Do you tend to look stressed out or unhappy or sad? Maybe a little angry? I frown a lot sometimes from stress, thinkin' too hard, or because I am too lazy to use my facial muscles. Look in the mirror at home and practice a facial expression that is somewhat pleasant but comfortable to maintain. It might also help if you check your reflection to make sure your face still looks friendly.
I noticed my facial expressions tend to reflect my thoughts. If I am thinking about something really complicated or something that upsets me I tend to look more "unfriendly." If I think about positive or neutral things, my face automatically lights up. Maybe the same thing will happen for you.

Answer 6

What you refer to as "mean" is probably a perception of irritation, frustration or intolerance. Smiling alone won't fix it. Your face projects the way you feel and the way you perceive the world around you. You may feel guarded around strangers or others you feel may ask something of you, or you may feel tired, or stressed. Any of these things can make the corners of your mouth pull down. This is interpreted as a "frown", something associated with "mean" people. Also, eyes that try to smile when the mouth doesn't, appear especially "mean", so you need to be aware of not just smiling, but how you "feel" and if you want to project a more positive image, you need to feel better about yourself and the world around you. The more you think you look mean, the meaner you'll look, because you'll be thinking about the negative, and just like mimicing expressions of an actor in a movie you're really into, you'll do the same thing with your thoughts and feelings.

I suggest you set up mirrors around the house, or if you already have them, try to glance up at them as you go about your business around the house. Don't "think" about looking happy when you look into the mirror, just notice how you look. If you think you look "mean", then think about what you were thinking, or feeling when you looked up. This is called "biofeedback" and if you get used to doing this, you'll start becoming aware of how much you show of your feelings and moods in your facial expression, especially when you look up and notice that you look "happy", because you'll need to do the same thing: think about what made you look that way. Once you know how you look under different situations, you'll be more prepared to "put on a good face" when out in public.

Answer 7

There are plenty of people who are like that. My advice is to strike up conversation with various people that you see. All you really need to do is show everyone what type of person you are. I know me personally, I've had a tendency to look at someone and say hey, that guy looks mean (example) but once I get to know them better, I change my way of thinking. So yeah, smiling is always good (lol) but just being yourself and getting to know others will help a lot! :D

Answer 8

I would try by looking at who you are on the inside. If you feel miserable, you look miserable. Depending on your mood, you expression, stature, everything about you changes. The most important and noticeable things that changes is the aura/vibe you give off. There are certain people everyone knows that when they walk into a room, it just brightens. Then there are other people that seem to darken a room. It all comes from who you are on the inside. Let your best qualities show!

Answer 9

I have this same problem. I was told in high school that I *look* like a b***h. I'm like one of the nicest people you could meet!!! :(

I don't know how to look more friendly either.

When I was really young (elem. and middle school) people constantly told me to stop smiling all the time, because I was always smiling. So, I stopped... and then got told I looked mean... uhh, theres just no pleasing people.

Answer 10

It is all about what you are thinking in your head. Anywhere you go, keep a smile on your face and greet everyone. So many times I smile to people and they just turn away, sometimes I stick my tongue out at them when they are not looking. I use to be like that, but now I simply smile to whoever is looking my way and most people will smile back. Be happy and happy will be you!