My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now, but have been in each other's lives for much longer. He just recently joined the Army again, and is due to begin Special Forces selection this upcoming September. We have talked about marriage and are planning on getting engaged within the next year. However, he wants me to make sure I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. I'm just curious to see how other women are handling or have handled being married to or dating a Special Forces Soldier, if anyone has any examples or advice I am happy to hear it! I realize that he may not make it through selection and the phases thereafter, however, I'm just trying to gain a perspective on the type of lifestyle which could be in my future. And regardless of what happens, I plan on marrying this man, that has never been a doubt in my mind, would just like to hear of other people's stories... thanks!
2007-07-11 16:50:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
You must have patience. You must know how to live on your own and have a life of your own. You won't get the farewells like other wives. He might not even get to call you to tell you he is leaving. He just might not come home for awhile. You can't nag him to know what he did or why he is upset. He isn't allowed to tell you. He must know to keep his job to yourself. Anyone knowing his profession could be a violation of OPSEC so be careful who you speak to.
My advice is to build your relationship as strong as you can before getting married. You have to know without a doubt that you trust him even in the face of those saying "he's a cheater" or even worse "he's a murderer" you have to be strong and KNOW that he is doing his job a job he loves and when that job is complete he is coming home to you and only you. It is your job to there for him even when he cannot confide in you. Good luck. I hope it works out for the both of you.
2007-07-12 04:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Ktwman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too was a special forces Marine, Be prepared to go long periods without seeing him, and when they are not on long delpoyments there are lots of 2 & 3 day training periods. Late nights. All Conflicts bring special forces in 1st and they leave last. Also Be Prepared to come in second to his unit members, A brotherhood even beyond that of most military units exists and they look at each other as closer than family...Its hard sorry.
2007-07-11 17:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once he qualifies as a Special Forces soldier you must prepare yourself to see him away on training missions almost continually. There will be times he will have ample time off, but it can be sparse.
Be aware that he will probably qualify himself in High Altitude, Low Opening (HALO) operations and other parachuting missions. While jumping is a big part of being an SF trooper, it isn't the end-all. His mission will be varied--weapons, demolition, underwater operations, close combat skills, and the ever needed training that he will eventually be called upon to deliver to others.
Being an Army wife has its many challenges. It is not meant for the weak at heart or the lonesome flower who must have a man with her every night. You will have to involve yourself with the wives of other SF troopers for moral support and worthwhile endeavors.
Regardless if he stays in for four years or 20 years, his job will be risky, demanding, and challenging. You must support him (not financially) if you wish to stay married to him.
2007-07-11 17:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I was a special forces marine, and we had a 72 hour response time, they kinda kept us from marriage. I went into the marines at 17 I had my high school sweetheart. I was sent off for special training for 6 months and they didnt allow you to take your spouse, let alone a girlfriend. My relationship didnt last the distance was to far. not saying your not strong, but it takes a strong women to take the military life. specially if you man is special forces.
2007-07-11 16:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by alfie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
army wives can be real bit*hes!! they are nosy , fat, love to call the mp's, and spend their husband paycheck at the PX...I'm an army wive an i cannot stand these women ...they are sooo mean...now I'm a military brat..i married my husband and finally knew what my mom was really going through..these women hate me because i had a baby and look like i never did..they don't like me because we have a 06 GT mustang and not a van..they don't like me because I'm best friends with my husband and don't tell him what to do...they can be horribly...my advice tell them I'm sorry you feel that way...see you later...Good luck...also be prepared to be alone for a year while your husband is deployed...then get ready to do it again in another year...
2007-07-11 22:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by Winter Blossom 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You have to ask your self if you can handle long deployments at a moments notice. Not knowing where he is, what he is doing, or when he will be home.
2007-07-11 18:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know they are tough individuals, but I also think they are knuckleheads, I don't see a nice future for you but good luck all the same.
2007-07-11 16:56:19 · answer #7 · answered by niddlie diddle 6 · 0⤊ 8⤋
divorce rate is HUGE for military. Most of the guys do some major whoreing when not in the USA. Good look for a LDR>
2007-07-11 16:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by theevilfez 4 · 0⤊ 8⤋
sit around, wonder if he's going to get killed. comes home on leave. f**** you. tells you he loves you and the kids, goes out with the guys that understand what he's going though, the guys who've been over there. you complain. he says you don't understand. back to war.
sit around.....
2007-07-11 16:57:57 · answer #9 · answered by bdbbdb 3 · 1⤊ 11⤋