How do you get rid of resentment for a religion that has caused you and your family so much pain...?

Question

...and disfunction? How do you let it go when it seems like every person that you meet from this religion seems arrogant and alloof and acts as if they are doing you a favor by being in your presesnce? Surely the religion is promoting these kinds of behaviors or it would not be so common. How does a person just ignore this religion and not let it affect them?

Answer 1

Good question. First, lets define religion - Man's attempt to connect with God. So whatever religion you are talking about will never work because of man's pride.
God is all about relationship. Forget about religion and seek the way that God has established to reach him.

P.S. You must forgive those who have offended you as they have not yet entered into God's way. I say this because forgiveness is for your benefit.

Answer 2

Religion is a man made set of beliefs and traditions created to help man get closer to G-d. And, because of this, it means that these systems can become corrupt.

It makes it even worse when everything you thought was true was toppled and you found instead deceit and lies and even ignorance on certain topics. That can be very hard to overcome, especially if your old religion is very prevelant.

When I left Christianity, it was a very hard transition. It is very hard to leave behind ideas that have shaped your thinking and even your existence for years.

In the end, you have to come to peace with it. That it happened, and that it is in the past. You can do nothing about what has already happened, but you can do something about the things yet to come. And you now have the ability to stop your future from being imprinted with this religious system. If you continue to hang onto the hurt, to dwell, you not only have a sorrowful past but a sorrowful future because it will always be tainted with this religion.

It sounds easier said then done. The best thing is to research, to prove to your mind that what you once believed is a fraud. That you are not bound to this anymore because it is not reality. Then your mind will move on - and you will be able to forgive and have a future.

Answer 3

You have to try and look past the religion issue and focus on the person. There are a few things that you never discuss with anyone: religion, sex and politics, people have preconceived prejudices of all 3 and it is hard to come to an understanding even with your loved ones, let alone someone else. If you are close to these people , and you feel uncomfortable, then tell them, if you can't, then stay away from them for your own peace of mind.
It takes a smart person to make a friend out of an enemy, and a stupid one to make an enemy of a friend.

Answer 4

First of all, I would realize, it's not the religion but the people acting as individuals with flaws and biased opinions all coming from their own personal experiences, their own cultural traditions, and what they've experienced within their own families. They're adjusting to you, according to what they think you need.

It's difficult to separate at this point the people from the religion, but try to understand that whatever religion you are from, their teachings are God-loving and people-loving. If it's anything contrary to that gospel, you can with all your heart believe that it's these people acting out of their own motivations and not the church.

To be able to change your mind, your resentment, the pain, you need to work on yourself first. You need to have a different viewpoint to better handle your case. If you need to leave the church temporarily, reject help and visits from the church members, that's allowed and you can do it. Gain the balance you need in your life first, confide in a friend, go to counseling, do whatever you need to make your family feel better.

When you go back to the church, and those problems persist, you should reconsider going to that church, and maybe attend another meeting elsewhere, not a different church, but maybe a different group of people within the same church that gather at a different place and/or at a different time.

Answer 5

The only way to get rid of resentment about anything is complete forgiveness. If you are unwilling or unable to do that, it will eat away at your mind until you are destroyed.

If the group you were involved with continues to be arrogant or rude, respond as graciously as you can and try to avoid them. We can’t change people who have no desire to be changed, but we must take full responsibility for our own actions. We can’t control how others live their lives, but we must learn self-control. This includes forgiveness.

Answer 6

Well when you say "surely the religion is promoting these kinds of behaviors or it would not be so common"....in the 7th century it was forbidden for priests to condemn people to Hell...so when "Christians" do it...they're not following what is being taught.

They just give us a bad name...

Depending on what religion you are, I would say just forgive and forget...don't automatically discriminate people from that religion, just discriminate against the people who have treated you wrong.

But it would help if you said which religion.

Answer 7

You have to be confident of your own beliefs. It is not easy to 'go against the grain' but if you are sure of yourself and what you believe, their arrogance won't bother you so much. If you do not allow yourself to be intimated by their attitudes, they may not be so arrogant and aloof. If they still are, you have to be able to ignore it as they are that way because of what they believe. Remember, it is their belief system that makes them that way. Spiritual warfare does not attack people personally, just wrong attitudes.

Answer 8

You cannot blame a religion or faith group for your continued unhappiness, when you choose to continue your relationship with it's members.

If you truly want to move on and let go, stop hanging around with them. Get yourself some self-confidence, and maybe some therapy if needed.

Answer 9

Many people do many negative things in the name of religion. Join the one that makes you feel closer to God, then show them how it's done. Christ said that it will be better for Sodom and Gomorrah than for hypocrites. Hypocricy was in His day as well. What do you think He contended with day and night? Pretty gravesights, he called them. Full of dead men's bones. (Loosely translated.) Of course, they denied the very best teacher and healer Himself. Whatever they do to the least of these bretheren, they do it to Him.

Answer 10

I don't know what religion you are referring to, but you have to remember that as humans we are all flawed and you should not judge the religion by the few people you meet, they are probably arrogant any way because I don't know of any religion that permits anyone to think they are better than any one else, so don't blame the religion, blame the people who did whatever they did to you. If it is a legitimate religion, try to talk to some one else who is good and knows about this particular religion.