I'm not helping anymore!!!?

Question

I have had it. Good intentions and genuinely caring about someone and their well being is over rated. Dun Da dun dun dunnn. So very done. Every time I try to lend a hand or help fix a problem, it just blows either way. Being 30 has now taught me that I am wasting my time and my feelings on other people. It causes me emotional stress and I feel like I let people down. Most of the time it works out nicely and people get exactly what I knew they would and they are happy, but it is the getting there that is the turmoil. No more reaching out a helping hand from my end, it is just not worth it. Good Samaritan I am no more, I think I have been beaten down just as much as the rest of the world is now. So if asked for directions now, I will give the only directions I know. The answer oh sorry I can't help you, but here is my sad face to make up for it. Any advice would be great. :)

Answer 1

I remember one night several years ago. I was ill with the flu and heading to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. On the way there I saw a car skid off the road and slam into a tree. Being a physician I didn't hesitate to pull over and run to see if I could be of any help. I triaged the two people in the car and determined that the young girl was probably the most seriously injured. She obviously had several compound fractures and was unconcious. Several other passers-by stopped to assist, with someone calling for an ambulance. Unfortunately this young lady did not survive her injuries. The driver of the vehicle, her older brother,survived but was hospitalized for several months. That was not the end of the story. While I was doing everything possible to save her life another driver slammed into the back of my car that was not pulled entirely off the side of the road. This gentleman had been drinking and did not see my car in spite of the fact that it was running and the lights were on. He was arrested and jailed for DUI. Almost five months passed and, while I was at worked I was served with a subpoena. The drunk who had struck my car had received minor injuries and was suing me for damages. Remember, in this country anyone can sue anyone else. Innocent or not you can lose everything due to the cost of hiring an attorney and defending yourself. Even if you win you can not necessarily recover and the financial damages (as well as the emotional one's) can cause you to lose everything you own. After several thousand dollars in attorney's fees and the emotional strain of sitting through depositions the case was thrown out of court. I can never get back the time I lost or the money that I spent to clear my name. Am I bitter.....yes. Will I turn away when I see someone is injured and in need of assistance....no. I'm still ot sure that is the right answer but I know in my heart that I will never allow society or any one other person to make me jaded enough to turn away from someone in need. I know exactly how you feel. It is painful but I have come to realize that, if I go through life looking for "Thank You's" I will be sorely disappointed. If I go through life being proud of what I have done, then I can be thankful to myself. best wishes

Answer 2

In the beginning God divided all life into two groups...the winner\users and the giver\loners. Life is created by an excellent design but there is a percentage failure. Those that feel different from everyone else really are. They are a small group called the outsiders. They will struggle greatly in life to keep afloat. God will actually help them if they honestly try to learn what the main force called the users do in life and the rules that they follow. The outsider stands out as different socially . It is normal if your body doesn't adapt easily to the ways of the majority then you don't like their way of living. You will be shunned at best or severely pressured at worst. There is an insult unto death from friends and family. I hope you never have to deal with that. Learn who your kind of people are and be safe in a safe place.

Answer 3

I certainly understand your point of view. I believe you have to look a certain way (i.e. Brad Pitt, or whoever the guy is that women are currently fawning over.) I quit holding doors open for women long ago, no matter how full their arms are. All I expect is a simple "Thank You", but instead, I'm treated as if I'm going to ask the woman out on a date. Being a Good Samaritan in this day and age is overrated, and under appriciated.

Answer 4

Ok, here's what I've learned in my 34 years (wish I'd figured this about about 10 years ago). You have to nurture the good relationships and prune the bad ones. Sounds like you've been involved with too many toxic people.

I've been there. I've tried to support my friends who are going through hard times, and when it's all said and done, they'll decide I'M to blame for their problems. Toxic people mistrust everyone, including those who have tried to be their friends. Don't give up on people, just concentrate on those who are more stable.

Answer 5

]I am very sad you feel that way.I hope you come back as a GOOD SAMARITAN. There are people that appreciate you.Sometimes they do not show it openly.
I have been volunteering from my teens and now I am a dad of two teenagers .It makes me proud that my children have that thought about others.
In Gratitude
In our daily lives we meet many people whose kindness should be recognized . This card was created in an effort to acknowledge the courtesy and thought fullness of others . Please accept this card as a token of my gratitude.
I have made these cards and hand them out to people who help others.
So you see I do have a card for you too.

Answer 6

Helping people should give you a sence of self worth, it should make you feel better instead of worse. the world is full of people who will take advantage of a good will, people who could care less what happens to you but expect you to be there for them, thats just the way the world works. But if you enjoy helping people that is something you have to expect, and if you really help people a lot i assume it is just your nature. Don't let people drag you down, just take what you can from each experience and move on. good luck

Answer 7

Burnout is not uncommon among folks in the helping professions (or those who help on a paraprofessional or even friendship level). It is usually temporary. I suggest that you take a few steps back. A little "break" , if you will. After you've had a bit of time to regroup and recharge, you may find that your feelings have changed.

Best of luck,
~M~

Answer 8

Sometimes we open our mouth or offer help
when the person isn't asking for the help.
Sometimes we "help" when a person is trying hard to do it themself. (Like handicapped)
Sometimes we "give" and crush the personal pride of a person trying to find satisfaction in what they can accomplish alone.
Sometimes we think we are complimenting, and the person we speak to takes it to be an insult.

Does that mean we should up and quit sharing our heart and care for others?
Maybe it means you think before you speak, or look before you leap, or ask permission before you do.

The "Golden Rule" Jesus gave us : "Love your neighbor as yourself"

Answer 9

Hence the saying: "No good deed goes unpunished." Sometimes the best way to help everyone is just take care of yourself. Sounds like you need to do that for awhile.

Answer 10

I agree with Stimpy. Some people can be so rude and over bearing (like my Father in law) there's no pleasing them. Sounds like it's time to be good to yourself