How do you know "ex-gays" are happy?

Question

When discussing the issue of "ex-gays," several contributors stated that they know many "ex-gays" who are happily living heterosexual lives. One person commented, "I have known both homosexuals and ex-homosexuals. The ex's I have personally met are completely happy with the fact that they have left that life behind them...In fact - their desire is for their spouse...All of those that have - that I know - have no regrets leaving homosexuality behind."

However, the same contributor has also stated, "I may not agree with homosexuality, or think it is natural in anyway shape or form..." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see why any "ex-gay" who knew her opinion on homosexuality would tell her anything other than he/she is happy.

People eager for your acceptance are going to tell you what you want to hear. What is really in their heart or said in prayer between them and Christ may be different.

Answer 1

People will tell others what they want to hear when trying to gain their acceptance.

Society has convinced people that being gay is wrong...and so many weak souls in an effort to try to conform what their parents, church and society wants them to be...will deny themseleves...those desires that are natural to them...and that are God-given

Our sexuality is our God-given orientation...and when you deny it or suppress it...it will manifest itself in other ways...
Look at priests who deny themselves sex...they end up molesting children...look at Ted Haggard who denied himself his natural desires...and he ended up soliciting male prostitutes and doing drugs.

I tried to be straight...tried to live as everyone wanted me to and I was not happy. I did not have joy in my heart, or peace in my mind and life....until I accepted myself the way God made me, which was gay. Trying to please the world, you will always fail....You know your heart...God knows your heart...other men do not.

Answer 2

Imagine using your body for what it was intended for. Oh what a feeling . Freedom from some gay dude calling you his girlfriend or whatever. I think happiness would just be the beginning. Answering to yourself and not some other person of the same sex, yuk!!!!!!!!!! At least heterosexuals answer to someone of opposite gender which is far more palatable since they appeal to the other side of mankind. It is called perfect balance. Teaching each other about the opposite sex. The whole thing about society dictating that being gay is wrong is for a very basic reason. People can do what they want, but don't try and sell it as if it is normal or right. Oh and no you are not a minority. Homosexuals are not a race.

Answer 3

"People eager for your acceptance are going to tell you what you want to hear. What is really in their heart or said in prayer between them and Christ may be different."

While that can be true, I think that people who say someone is "perfectly happy" mean that to all outward appearances they seem to be at peace with their new situation. I doubt that they mean the person is on a constant mountain top of happiness with never a down moment or a doubt.

Answer 4

How can people be ex-gay???
I can understand being straight then gay, as it is more socially acceptable to be straight, and they probobly wanted to fit in, and not be spurned for the choice of partner, many gays dont come out till there late teens...or even older (i know two gay men who both have children from a previous heterosexual marriages). But to be ex gay..??? I suggest that these ex-gay people are more likely bi-sexual, and are therefore happy with either gender. I would never suddenly decide that i wanted to be lezbain....i prefer men and always will do. And the very thought of having sex with a woman makes my brother shudder.
I honestly believe that being ex-gay does not happen.

Answer 5

I work for a Christian conference center where former homosexuals come annually for their conference. And I have spoken personally to them. And the general consensus is that they are extremely happy that they removed themselves from their previous lifestyles and have pursued the heterosexual life as God intended. Many I spoke to are ashamed of their former lifestyles because they now understand the gravity of what they were doing, and how it was an offense to God.

There is not one single case that I ever heard of where they claimed genetics or any other excuse for their previous lifestyles. What they did, they did by choice. And they left that lifestyle by choice also. And they are so glad they did. One common denominator that stood out far above anything was that they claimed they were much happier being heterosexual. Many claimed that while homosexual, they suffered from depression. They now claim to be "set free", and they truly are.

Answer 6

There's some that are happy and some that are not. Just like with anyone who gave up any part of their lifestyle. There's ex smokers who still want a cigarette and some who dont. No one put a gun to these ex-gay's heads and said "live straight or die!!" (or at least I bet not most of them) they decided for themselves for whatever reason to leave the life style. Now, there are many Im sure are happy with the change and many who aren't. I dont ask gays to change nor do I tell them they have to. But if one wants to, then let him/her, dont discourage anyone from changing what they want to change. Especially if they believe they will be better off.

Answer 7

The eistence of Ex Gays is nonsense, a lot of the time they were or are, simply people, confused about their own sexuality who have gone to reclaim their own heterosexuality while others of the same belief have simply repressed their own homosexual orientation while others appeared to be confused bisexuals. The "Ex Gay" therapy movement has been completely debunked by the APA as well as the vast majority of mental health proffessionals.

Answer 8

So called "ex-gays" may genuinely be happy if they only seek social acceptance while denying accepting themselves. If they put social acceptance ahead of their own feelings, they have the right to do so for themselves but should not denigrate others who do not share their views.

One of the founders of the "ex-gay" group Exodus International, Michael Bussee, left the group after falling in love with another "ex-gay." They had a commitment ceremony and were together until his partner died more than a decade later. Bussee said he hadn't "met one who went from gay to straight. Even if you manage to alter someone's sexual behavior, you cannot change their true sexual orientation."

An Exodus spokesperson, John Paulk, was photographed at a Washington DC gay bar. Paulk denied that he visited the bar, but later changed his story and said that he didn't know that it was a gay bar and only entered to use the restroom. Paulk stayed for over an hour and purchased drinks for other bar patrons.

The current president of Exodus, Alan Chambers, said in a June 2007 interview that he has “come to resent the term ‘ex-gay’", "he still struggles at times with homosexual temptation" & "By no means would we ever say change can be sudden or complete.”

The so called "ex-gay" movement appears to be nothing more than a movement to shame another person into acting in a manner that is more acceptable to mainstream and narrow minded views.

Answer 9

That's true that people tell others what others want to hear to keep the peace. It's selfish for people to expect others to fit their view of how the world should be. We all have the right to live our life for our own happiness, not for other's happiness. Anybody that gives up that right is not putting themselves first, is pleasing other people first.

Answer 10

I am. (happy) No one is gay....they only live the lifestyle. Being gay is really just choosing the same sex. IT IS A CHOICE. I thought I was "gay". For years I gave in to my sexual attraction to females. I was wrong. I don't miss it and was miserable while practicing. The hate, descrimination, rejection, but I tarried on. It was awful....thinking I was born this way and had to "be " this way....what a lie. No one is gay....just same sex choosers. Give it up and be happy, and free from the lie.