I met a wonderful guy online and feel a strong connection. We talk for hours. He has a 2 year old daughter and says its final and he's moving on. But I'm afraid to be only a rebound girl, and that he's not over his ex or is just too confused to want a relationship. What should I do?
2007-07-11 11:10:36 · 23 answers · asked by Dani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take it slow. If the ex comes up too often he may not be over her. However you have to realize the ex is never going to truly go away. They have a kid together and they are going to have to see and talk to each other at least occasionally because of that for many years. Is that really something you can accept and deal with?
If you think you can. Then take it very slowly and don't invest your emotions too quickly. Keep in mind that it's likely he'll be in a hurry to start something new because 'it' is finally over. But if he's serious he'll be willing to take it slow also.
2007-07-11 11:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by elurle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dani,
This is a difficult one. I've met several girls online and I'm still married (12 yrs) with two kids (ages 3 & 7). I should say un-happily married, but still "legally" married. Not sleeping together, nor are we intimate, but still married.
I've only met a few actually "in person" (women that are close to where I live). Only one have I had a sexual encounter with, but it wasn't attraction, as it was all for the sex.
Sounds like what you have going is an "attraction" and perhaps an "emotional" bond. I take it that you have never been married, nor have any kids of your own? I have an "emotional" bond with this women right now that I have been talking to through email and instant messaging for the past 2 months. We live 2,000 miles away and were both married, with children.
This is a tough situation, but if you want to talk about it more, I'd be happy to share my thoughts in honesty.
2007-07-11 18:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so smart! Before I finished reading I had composed in my mind a message back to you saying be careful you are not his rebound relationship and you wrote it before I could!
Thats your answer and you knew it. I am sure he is wonderful but it does take two to make a divorce and there are 2 sides to every story. He should be spending every minute he can with that poor little 2 yr old who now has a broken home. Here is hoping that your emotions wont take over . Instead divert yourself and date others. You deserve better I think. I mean you deserve a less complicated situation so try to not get into another one like this. Best wishes
2007-07-11 18:16:22 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he really has sorted out his feelings for his wife and as crazy as it is, I suggest telling him to go ahead and get the divorce too instead of the seperation. Because even though the seperation may be good for him, if you start getting more serious about him down the road, this issue will come up again because he is still technically married. Besides if he is on the rebound tell him to be up front with you about it and you guys can just be friends til he figures out what is going on.
2007-07-11 18:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut instinct.
He might be a keeper, but odds are against you and you might end up as a "rebound girl".
Keep the relationship platonic (i.e., no sex).
If he can stay with you for a year, he will have probably passed over that crisis stage of his divorce.
On the other hand, since he has a child could complicate things.
That part of his life is NEVER final.
Are you willing to share him with his daughter?
2007-07-11 18:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's online - go with the flow. If you know him more - see what happens in a few months down the line. Friendships usually work out at a distance - most people want things done today as today is important - though what are your needs in 3 to 4 months time? If its worth the waiting yuo will know if its the right choice or not.
2007-07-11 18:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by upyerjumper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6th months is to early to be in a serious relationship. you should start first to be friends and see how it works out for at least a year. a person who has come out of a long time relationship is very hard to love a new person as will be comparing with the past relationship. He will be still on the rebound with his past. he cant give you his full heart.
2007-07-12 10:24:03 · answer #7 · answered by janetunu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let me tell you be afraid. because if he is truly divorced i don't see him jumping into anything serious right now. he is a free man he don't have to answer to no one and he will probably want to get his feet wet a little bit, so if i was you i would be cautious and not jump into that right now. just keep the on-line and phone conversations going. But if he says he really ready for a commitment , then you should be able to talk and have a relationship with his kid and his ex being that your gonna be in his life now. there shouldn't be no hiding of anything.
2007-07-11 19:02:46 · answer #8 · answered by latoya m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kind of have to take a leap of faith on this one.
I had just separated from my husband of 13 yrs, a month later I met a guy online and we have been together happily ever since its going on 4 yrs now we are engaged and my daughters love him.
Had he not taken a leap of faith in me and what I was saying was over then we would not have been together and missed out on a wonderful relationship.
Best of wishes
2007-07-11 18:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by FoxBelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it on a strict friendship level until the divorce is final. I know it may be difficult, but that is the only way to assure that you won't be the rebound girl.
2007-07-11 18:16:02 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋