what would you do in a situation where, no matter how hard you tied to fit in in society, you were constantly?

Question

rejected and ignored? say if you grew up through a system in the uk that let you down and screwed you over? you were victimized, bullied, abused, never made any friends in life, and you had reached the age of 30 had borderline personality disorder and felt alienated by people....say if even after all this, you still had dreams and aspirations you wanted to achieve, but you felt you were being held back and restricted from doing what you want.....by unseen persecutors...i wanna move far away from uk and build a new life, but i feel i can never achieve this, and a corrupt systems holding me back...
am i doomed? should i just give up?

the answers ive giveen thumbs down to dont get it..i do wanna leave the uk, and no i dont wanna stay here and work through things

Answer 1

All of this is going to come clear to you some day...when you realize, that all of your suffering was to make you stronger than the average person...hang in there, don't give up..your day may come tommorow

Answer 2

no never give up. so your 30, what does that mean... we never grow old until the day we die. you still have soooo much yet to do with it all. i never graduated because i was pregnant in the tenth grade and i thought my life was over. i married my high school sweet heart and with no home of our own and no money, we had to do what was nessicary at the time just to survive and protect our child. we pretty much had to build a life that was thought to be impossible. we could hate each other at times and no one thought it would last. that was nine years ago and we are here and we are alive and things still suck for the most part but look how far we have come since then. i actually have stuff now like a computer, ya know up untill 2 years ago i had never touched one really. my point is i am not a religious person but i know there is a god a source from which all has created and planned so no matter how prfound your situation is there is always a way out. nothing is impossible. get it in your mind that you will overcome and succeed and things will happen i promise. if you give up you will never know will you and i doubt you could live with yourself knowing that. this is something you will have to work on everyday. ask yourself if you really know who you are. start thinking on all the postive things about you that no else knows. embrace that. no one in the world is more human than you just because of this perfect picture they display more money more beauty more power. we are all equal. dont let people fool you into thinking otherwise.

Answer 3

No, I do not think that anybody should give up with fulfilling their dream. I think that since you feel alienated where you are, moving away might be a good thing. Somewhere new to start off fresh and have many friends. You should move away from UK, somewhere better. People will start to be friends with you in a new place. All you have to do is start to join into conversations with people who you know or have met. I usually just jump into any conversation even if it is with someone who I really dislike. But, if UK is slowing you down from achieving your dream, but you want to move away from the UK, I would say,
Move away from the UK. That is your decision you wanted so I wouldn't lose hope. Keep trying, things may work out :)

Answer 4

I have a young woman who is now living in my home that is from Holland. She too went through a living hell over there. But through the Internet, she met my son, who became her greatest Ali. She was finally able to come to the States, and after some time, she is doing fantastic. She still has her moments when she will begin to think back to things that she has been through, but she moves on and tries to look forward to the things she wants to accomplish. So no, do not give up. Nothing is handed to us, we must work hard for what we want in life. If you are willing to work hard and strive, you will make it. Make yourself determined instead of defeated. I know it isn't easy, but like my newest 'daughter', once she got away from what was actually causing her problems, she got better. So maybe leaving the UK will help, but make sure you have someone to go to first. Don't do it alone. Regardless of your age, there is someone out there that will reach out a hand to help. And don't be afraid or ashamed to grab hold of that hand. You never know what great things might come from a helping had. Good luck to you and God Bless You.

Answer 5

It sounds like your life can only get better from here. Just remember we all have one life to live, so why not take a chance and start thinking about how you can make your goals a reality. Just take baby steps or you will become overwhelmed. Also, remember that no matter where you move to get a "fresh start" your problems will move there with you. Maybe you should seek professional help so that you can acquire the tools necessary to make your life how you've always wanted it to be. Best of luck!

Answer 6

At the moment u are in a hole yeah? got nothing? ok well from here it's up up up, make a new start here right now, it's gotta be small steps to get to your dream, u need a skill to move abroad, sooooo is there anything u like? when u find what u like enrol at a free course in college ( suggestion how about learning Spanish ) (learn brick laying, 1 of my friends is doing this and moving to Australia) anyway start your battle and make lists and break it down with targets, learn a skill, get a job here part time and build up...dreams have to be worked at little by little and as u go along u will realise that people are helping u, just look at all the positive answers u have here, good luck.

Answer 7

My sense about BPD is that it can feel very lonely and frightening to be alone in the world.

To stand alone by being yourself is difficult, because deep down you don't feel like you are anything much. There is often a terrible empty vacuum that threatens to pull you into
nothingness.

Trying to 'fit into the world', is really just a convenient pretense. It can NEVER be satisfying, and life will just end up feeling futile.

The real you and your real needs needs to be recognised. It's like you have to get a handle on who you really are. Your likes / dislikes/ values/ feelings etc.

Start with your body, just notice you are in your body and notice your bodily sensations. That is the starting point and will help you to resist being pulled this way and that by life.
It's like you only get a feeling for who you are in the context of how others see you.

You need others to see you a certain way in order to feel you exist. If it seems people don't see you, or regard you in the way you need, that can feel terifying.
Then you see them as enemies. So it can feel safer to be a victim than to feel invisable.

You need to get a sense of your body and a sense of your feelings. Your feelings get out of control because you don't know how to express them, they just burst out at the worst moment and take over.

If you can't find the words, then draw, paint, dance, move. Anything that allows you to express youself in a way which is not destructive.

Take a chance, you are a sensitive person with passion and feelings and LOVE.
***The world needs what you have on offer***
***Fact of life: Some people will like you some people won't, no matter what you try to be.
At least if you are being yourself then the people who like you will like you for real.

A good therapist who is more interested in discovering who you are than in trying to "cure" may help.
You always have choices.
Good luck.

Answer 8

You can run to the ends of the earth but the one person you can't escape is yourself.
I don't know if you've tried counseling or not, but ultimately you have to shake the "victim" mentality. It will drag you down and you will accomplish nothing.
Do not give up on your dreams. All those who have succeeded in life have had great obstacles to overcome and the one quality they all have in common is "persistence"

Do NOT give up on yourself or your dreams!

Answer 9

You keep posting these questions. Instead of asking us what we think why don't you go and seek out a professional who can help you deal with your BPD. There is a therapeutic community in Surrey that specialises in BPD. It is a residential unit and you live there for 12 months. You help in the day to day running of the community whilst undertaking intensive psychotherapy in the form of groups. It is a fabulous place and it sounds as if you may benefit from it. It is not easy but will help you to get your life back on track.. You can't self refer, so you will need to go to the Doctors and get a referral. We are not professionals on this forum and can only say so much to you, what you really need is specialist help.

Answer 10

I have been thru' all those you described above....alienated & abused constantly by people I don't even know or ever met before..picked on & bullied...well, I used 2 worry about it..but now, I wish them luck & I say f*** them all...I have better things to think about than those losers who'll never get anywhere with that attitude..
never give up, be a winner in life....
God bless you
xxgigi

Answer 11

sometimes people try too hard to fit into a society that they are unhappy with, it is much better to just be yourself, people respect honesty and not someone who is willing to change who they are just to fit in
leaving the uk will not change a single thing, you can't run away from your problems, and unless you live your life right, you will always feel like you are being screwed over
never give up on yourself, you are your own best friend, so don't become your own worst enemy.. take the bull by the horns and get out of the rut you have gotten into..If people can't handle who you really are then it's their problem and not yours..
and you are not doomed
best of luck to you