My stepson is at our house for his yearly visit and it's killing me?

Question

I have a serious problem every year for 6 weeks. I absolutely dread my stepson's visit. His mother is a selfish, self absorbed, man chasing, scamming, jezebel. She goes after married men, single men, handicapped men. There are no limits to what she exposes her children and herself to for money and scamming. I feel sorry for her children. She has 2 children from a current marriage, in which the man has run off and left her for someone else.

Basically, this is a neverending saga, all year by phone and in the summer I have to contend with the troubled stepson who has ADHD and a variety of other disorders that haven't been diagnosed yet. I also thinks he's mildly retarded. I have been a teacher myself for 10 years and have 3 graduate courses in special education, so I'm pretty sure of other problems he's having. Because I'm home for the summer, I'm stuck babysitting the 13 year old who acts like a 7 year old.

My question is; how do I get my husband to tell the mother to send the child's medicine with him in the summer when he comes to visit us. I keep telling him that he needs it when he visits us too,but he refuses to tell her. He doesn't want to make waves with her.

I'm afraid if he doesn't talk to her about sending it, I'm going to go crazy and need some medicine too. Thanks for reading all of this, I'm desperate for advice.

Answer 1

Other than settling in with a good book, a bottle of tequila, and the econo box of bon bons, have you considered teaching summer school..or telling the hubby if his son doesn't have his meds, it's to the Bahamas you go..for like, SIX weeks! Do you think you could talk to the skank mom and ask her to fill the prescription at your local drug store? Or buy or rent a nintendo and sit his butt in front of it for the duration? Or go to your doc for some sedatives? I do feel for you, I have been there.

Answer 2

You talk about how selfish his mother is but all you have done is complain that you have to take care of him during the summer and take up your free time! If the mother will not send the meds why don't you take him to the Dr and see about getting him some locally. Take a min and try to understand what it would be like to not be wanted anywhere you go and then add adhd and possible other metal problems on top of that. He needs someone to step up and be the adult and take responsibility and show him some love and understanding.

Answer 3

Contact the woman yourself. No more middle man.
Tell her - not in anger or in competition for his love, of your concern and love for the boy. Then you can tell her about what you have observed and suggest that he recieve treatment from a psychiatrist before coming to stay with you again, because you are worried you may not be able to give him the care he needs and deserves.
Whatever you do, don't take out your frustrations on the boy. Be as loving and patient as if you were his real mother, you may find that you are giving more concern than he gets from his biological mother.
At 13, he is still forming mentally. You can do a world of good for this kid. Good luck to you. Remember that love always wins, and a soft answer turneth away wrath.

Answer 4

She is hoping you will pickup the tab on the meds. From what you said, it looks like you have your work cut out for you. If the kid needs meds to keep him balanced then whatever it costs to do that, get it done. What is it worth to you to have him under control instead of bouncing off the walls. I know it sounds like she is shirking the responsibility, but honestly if you are married to the kids father then treat him as well as your own son.

Answer 5

You know sounds to me like you resent your stepchildren, calling the child retarded,is an outdated term so if you were at one time a se teacher im sure your a bit out of touch, little kindness goes a long way with children and alot of hyperactive children just need exercise, but then that would require you to spend time with the child who you obviously dislike, im sorry the poor little boy is such a burden on someone such as yourself , little kindness and compassion is better than doping a child up just to get them out of your hair what im really getting at is you suck sorry but i think your a shitty person and im sorry your stepson has to be inflicted with you once a year as well.

Answer 6

the mother is being negligent by not sending the boy's medications with him, call her yourself, inform her that if she does not send his meds you will call child protective services and report her negligence to them. The child's needs are what are important here, not your sanity, not fear of rocking the boat, not the fear of reprisal by the negligent mother. It's what the child needs that counts here.