should i be offended?

Question

okay, my Nan has come up to visit from Cornwall, i dont see her very often and she is staying with my dad for a couple of days.
I have told my dad i can be at his in the morning (takes an hour on the bus to get there) and he sed he wont be home till 12 cos he is goin to play golf.
i wud go shopping then meet him and my nan at 1ish...
i asked if his new wife or my nan will be at home if i get there earlier,
he didnt reply for ages then sed "we will be out till 3"
he knows i have to leave at 4 to get home.
Is he avoiding me?
has he sed to his wife im coming over and she doesnt want me there?
this happens all the time, and i know she doesnt go to golf with him.
i also sed, okay i have a key so ill go and see Nan anyway to which he replied "no, no, ill get her to meet you in town for lunch at 12 n make sure u get on ur bus okay"
how shud i take this and shud i go anyway?

Answer 1

I would get the bus first thing and head on up there and find out all for myself - she's your Nan and he's your Dad, you have the right to see her and know exactly whats going on.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I think I know what your concerned about you seem to be getting mixed messages here. Sounds to me like your Dad's wife might be making all the decisions here, but maybe I'm wrong. Is she the type that rules the roost in your Dad's house? Sounds as if he's trying to keep everyone happy really. Mind you it's your Dad's house too and you should be able to visit when you want and if you have your own key he must want you to be able to come and go as you please. I would go this time after all it's your Nan you want to see and you'd only be spiting her if you didn't go and you probably wouldn't want to spoil her visit. When you speak to your Dad next on his own after you Nan has gone back home I would explain to him that you felt a bit upset over this incident and you wondered if there was some reason for them being so awkward about it, perhaps he doesn't even realise that it has bothered you so much before, you know what men are like! I would just bring it into your next conversation though, just tell him eveything without it turning into a row if possible, but I would ask him why he had acted like this over your visit, perhaps there's some simple explanation. I wouldn't worry about it I'm sure your Dad didn't want to hurt you on purpose and maybe he needs to realise that his new wife may be coming between you and your Dad's relationship.
Go see your Nan and enjoy your time with her perhaps if you don't already go, it might be nice if you could visit her in Cornwall without your Dad and his wife so you can just spend some time together. Don't let it spoil tomorrow and then when you have a chance have a chat with him and tell him how hurt and confused you felt about it all. I'm sure he'll try and sort it so it doesn't happen in future and if he doesn't well you then have to decide what's best for you regarding visitng them. Try not to worry, all the best Clara.

Answer 3

This is not an easy situation for you nor your father. Whatever the reason is for the run around try it let roll off your back for now and do not let it take away from your time with your Nan, remember that is why you are going there. It sounds as if your father is trying to the best he can to keep the peace and make your Nan's visit drama free. Now if you want a reason for such a run around speak to your father after your Nan visit. But keep in mind if it is because of your father's wife, then that is her problem and its most likely about her and not you. Try to keep clam when asking your father why your received such a run around, it will make easier on you and he may response may surprise you (in a good way). Also keep in mind you will ALWAYS be his child, she may not always be his wife..............it sounds bad I know but that thought has helped me out it such situations

Answer 4

Invite your nan to stay with you! This will save a lot of stupid hassle.

It sounds like his wife is the problem and your dad is trying to keep the peace. But you have a right to see her. Have you spoken to your nan? How does she feel about all this...does she think you don't want to see her?

So - contact your nan and tell her to come for a couple of days. Don't ask your dad about this- just inform him it's happening!!

Answer 5

Well if you are old enough to go and see her, don't tell him youre going and just turn up- sounds like the new wife is jealous of you- let her know you were in your grans life long before she came along and you intend to have a relationship with your nan and your dad whether she likes it or not.

Answer 6

Seems like they're trying to keep something from you. It's your Nan and you should go and see her. Seems like his new wife is calling all the shots. Don't go away - that's making things easy for them. Tell your dad you're going to see your nan no matter what.

Answer 7

Don't guess about what is going on... you need to speak to your father about what the issue is... and can you see your Nan at any other time on your own terms? Just don't make assumptions... even if others on this site agree with your analysis... clear and honest communication is crucial and is worthy working towards... it will take effort and probably more than one go... but try not to blame or accuse but rather to ask what is going on for your dad.... perhaps he needs reminding that you love him... never a bad place to start...

Answer 8

See your Nan whatever it takes, the problem is his new wife.
Can you have your Nan stay with you for a few days? It may be hard work if she is infirm

Answer 9

what`s important is for u to see ur nan so give her a ring and tell her to be in caz u wanna see her. Save journey

Answer 10

it seems to me that his new wife is the prob here. maybe she is jealous of you. some women get like this when the man they marry already has children. you do not say what happened to your mum, maybe your dads new wife has rearranged the house, and he knows this will upset you, you he is trying to keep u away for soley this reason. whateve i wish u luck with this situ