through a mutual friend I found out that my ex was just offered a super job, in her field, doing exactly what she wants. A far cry from her articling position.
We had a pretty rough parting for both of us, and I did badger, but am really ready to be friends and have not bothered her for a couple of months at all. a lot of the badgering was actually to test the water, as she said she wanted to be friends.
After about 8 months abroad, I had asked if she wanted to go out for coffee, as I was only home for a short time, and she said she would not like any contact, or there would be problems.
My inly regret is that it didn't work out for us...I sincerely don't want to go back....but feel really obliged to wish her luck and congrats....is this wrong? Should I just wait for her to contact me? How do I move it towards a plutonic friendship from where we were. (we dated for 5 years). Should I even care? cause I do, and wish her well.
2007-07-11 09:19:33 · 9 answers · asked by someguy_in_halifax 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are a thoughtful and caring man, and firstly i would like to congratulate you for that. You are mature and willing to be nice and to the point of respecting her wishes. Its odd how she wanted to be friends and now doesnt. Personally, I would move on and not bothered. Reason I say this is because this woman doesnt really want to be friends with you and hasnt even given you a good reason, and therefore doesnt really deserve the friendship you offer let alone a congratulations. And why would their be problems? Anyway. move on hun.. its defiantly not going anywhere.. shame though.. 5 years is a long time. Let her go.. she doesnt want to know you.. find friends that respect you and would appreciate your caring nature.. best of luck hun.
2007-07-11 09:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by Twinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude I was once in the same situation. I went through a pretty nasty break up with a girl that started out wanting to be friends, but then it became the "I don't want contact" type of thing. After about a year I was attending the college graduation cerimony of another friend and I heard them read off the ex's name. I was happy for her because I knew that is what she was really working toward and wanted really badly. The next day I just gave her a call to congratulate her and she was glad I did. That doesn't mean that we are good friends now, but it did offer a lot of closure for both of us. Just congratulate her and leave it at that
2007-07-11 09:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by timbo123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that if she asked that the two of you no longer keep in contact that you respect her wishes for the time being. Continuing to push a friendship when she is not comfortable is just going to make her not to want to be your friend even more.
If you happen to see her out somewhere, and she brings it up in your conversation with her, then I would say it would be alright for you to congratulate her, but not to call her out of the blue and say "Hey, I heard you got a great new job." It kind of makes it look like you still can't let go of your past with her and that you've been keeping tabs on her.
2007-07-11 09:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can uderstand you just wanting to be friends but forcing it in anyway can be harmful to your case. That has to be up to her.
And it would always be nice to give out a well deserved congrads. But in your situation don't go out of your way to do so. If you just happen to be talking to her you could mention it. but don't just call her out of the blue just for that. It will look like you are keeping tabs on her.
Nothing wrong with caring and wishing her well but she has to be comfortable with being full on friends well....the hanging out type.
most of this is more than likely based on a rough ending as you stated. If you try not to force it on her I am sure she will come around eventually.
2007-07-11 09:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by AJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feliz Ano Nuevo rofl just kidding thats happy new year its felicitaciones en el nacimiento de su hijo
2016-05-19 21:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She said she didn't want you to contact her...she set that boundary...and if you really care for her, you will respect that boundary and her wishes. You will completely ruin your chances of eventual platonic friendship if you insist on insinuating yourself into her life.
2007-07-11 09:23:45 · answer #6 · answered by irish77princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you really want to, yes. It doesn't matter if she's your ex. Wish good luck to people and people will wish you good luck!!!
2007-07-11 09:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ღαsнℓэч vαиэssαღ♥™ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dude you still love her. stop beating around the bush
2007-07-11 09:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by niblzz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send a card and leave it at that.
2007-07-11 09:22:45 · answer #9 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋