I talked to my ex-husband about that fact that I thought it was inappropriate that he's sleeping in the same room as our son with his new girlfriend. He says he doesn't care what I think he is going to do it anyways. Our son says stuff like, I saw daddy and kim kissing when I was in bed. That just really #1 Hurts and #2 I think is morally wrong. He has NO respect for me or our son. I just don't know what to do anymore. It is confusing to our child but that doesn't seem to phase him. Everyone I've talked to thinks it's wrong too. I want to know how someone can be this way. I know for a fact i would never in a million years do that. Unless we where going to get married. Why is this chick s o stupid to not see that that is really wrong?
2007-07-11 08:06:30 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes it's wrong. What will be going through your son's mind a year from now after he's slept in the same room as daddy and a dozen different women? I have single friend who does this and it makes me furious. I don't understand it. I'm so sorry.
2007-07-11 08:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, I do think it is wrong.
How old is your son? Is he in the same bed, or just in the same room? Why is he sleeping in there?
There is a difference between two parents co-sleeping with their own child or a child coming into their room at night because of bad dreams or strange noises, etc. But for this child to be witnessing Daddy kissing another woman (and who knows what else?) is wrong. They are not married.
How long has the Father and the new girlfriend been together?
What is your custody arrangement? I would definitely seek changes.
When my sister and her daughter's father went to court, their agreement stated that there could be no overnight guests (girlfriends/boyfriends) when the child was in the home (whether it be the mother or the father), unless they got married. That simple solution would solve this problem!
2007-07-11 08:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by StayAtHomeMomOnTheGo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... he moved in after only 8 weeks? That is kinda fast. I don't think the sleeping arrangement would be that big of a deal right now, but he definately has to get a plan for the future. If he has a court-ordered visitation schedule, there's not much you can do. Hopefully, you can talk to him about your concerns. It sounds like you have the kid's interests at heart. I would let them go spend some time with dad; as we all know, divorces are hardest on the children. When they come back from the visit, ask them if they enjoyed their visit & if they slept comfortably. (Don't grill them for info though, kids hate that.) If he starts being a 'rolling stone', put your foot down. I wouldn't want my kids staying in different houses either. Let him come pick them up, but bring them home each night. Much safer.
2016-05-19 21:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by bianca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where does he sleep when he is at your house? Does he have his own room and stay in his own bed? And at his dad's, is it small and there is no other room for him to sleep in? And most important, yes, your son says he saw them kiss, but what is his attitude when he says stuff like that? If he is uncomfortable, then dad needs to straighten up and do whats right for the child. Otherwise, everyone else might be comfortable with the situation, and you are feeling a little sensitive to being left out. I don't mean that bad, but you need to really be honest with yourself. Don't get into an argument with your sons dad if you can fix the situation yourself, and you'll spend more time having positive conversations with him about your sons life. Which in the long run is the most important thing!
2007-07-11 16:09:47 · answer #4 · answered by Payne12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have my sympathy and my 2 cents...here it goes:
Your ex husband is wrong to let your son sleep in the same room with them. You're being a good mom, don't let him tell you otherwise. What YOU would do if you decided to date again and what HE'S doing are 2 different fruits, he's being inconsiderate, insensitive and teaching your son about how to treat women.
If he doesn't care about you, that's fine, he DOES have to care about his son and he obviously doesn't, it's time to talk to a lawyer about your custody arrangement. It's also time to talk to your son or get him into counseling to see if it's changed his perception of men, women, whatever. Don't back down on this, girlfriend, you're his mom.
Now, with the second part of this..."How can he be this way?" Simple enough, he chooses to be and neither you or me or any judge is gonna change his mind, only he can do that. I wished I could help you with the hurt part of it, but that's something that gets easier over time and soon, you'll have a new, more respectful and loving husband and this hurt will be a long way off. Hang in there, this "chick" as you put it; (LOL!) isn't stupid, she's ignorant and just following your ex's lead, Kim isn't worth your tears.
2007-07-11 08:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's wrong that he's sleeping in the same room as your son with his girlfriend if A) they are having sex and B) if your son is uncomfortable with it. It's obvious he's not a baby if he's able to tell you they were kissing in front of him. If they just happened to kiss but nothing else was going on, there's really nothing wrong with that. Our society is so bent on kids sleeping in separate rooms but most other cultures share a room with the whole family.
That being said, if your son is uncomfortable, he should say something and so should you. Your ex needs to have respect for his son and his feelings.
As for you, yes, it hurts but unfortunately, he doesn't need to care about your feelings. It would be nice if he did but he doesn't have to. If he's your ex, and he's with another woman, move on. Don't let that cloud your judgment. And, don't let that affect the relationship that your son has with your ex.
2007-07-11 08:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course it is wrong. Not only is it hard enough already on him that mommy and daddy aren't together anymore, now he's sleeping in the same room with a new girlfriend....don't u think this is a little confusing for your son? a child needs stability not being bounced back and fourth and having girl friends or guy friends coming in and out of the picture. ur ex should stop being selfish of worrying about his own needs and start raising his/ur son the was a real father should. If he doesnt start now, ur son is going to be the one who pays....
2007-07-11 08:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if it were just sleeping, then I would say no, but since the rest of the question indicates that there is something more than that going on, then yes it is wrong.
As the divorced parent of two girls, I would avoid situations like this at all costs. My children will never even meet a woman I am dating until I am confident that that person is going to be in their lives for a while. Seek advice from social services about what can be don't to prevent exposing your son to such inappropriate situations
2007-07-11 08:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by Recreant- father of fairies 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My husband has a 9 yr old from his previous marriage. One time she fell asleep in our room as we were watching a movie together late.
This incident caused endless problems from his ex, which stemmed basically from her jealousy of my relationship with them.
Why are you calling her a 'stupid chick'? What is your son confused about? Surely he has seen people kiss/peck before, would you have had an issue if it was you, your husband and son in the room or would that be ok?
Co sleeping is not immoral or disrespectful, thousands of families do this.
It's not the 'chick' who has a problem here, your ex should be laying down the law not her. Discuss with him what is acceptable and it would go on both sides.
I didn't even sleep over at my husband's when his daughter was around until we were engaged.
2007-07-11 09:18:08 · answer #9 · answered by Chocolate Bunny 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
know for a fact i would never in a million years do that. Unless we where going to get married.
They might get married one day and then you will not have to get so jealous.
I hope this child does not have a complex about kissing due to your reactions.
I hope the father is not doing this to get at you. I see no wrong doings and think its all in your head. should he hide his feelings? NO should he force this on a child? NO
It is OK to feel this way but do not say anything as it is his business and not yours. the child will make up there own mind about the situation. Get on with the things that you do have control over and remember that this could just be a stunt to make you upset but I do not think that for one moment. do not be a fool.
I do not think that a kiss is so bad and I think he should not have to hide his feelings just because you do not want to know about it. as for any other comments about how you can get back at him"Shame on you all"...Get over it
2007-07-11 16:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋