I'm sending the question just to get opinions/thoughts.
My mom lives with me (in my house) and she has relatives (a couple) coming over to visit for 2 days and she wants them to stay at my house. I don't have problem with that.. but my MOM wants the couple to occupy the Masters bedroom!! Now she is asking me if me and my partner can sleep for 2 days at my partner's house while the visitors are at my house! I am the kind of person who avoids argument so I'm really upset with that and I don't know how to tell my MOM that her decison is NOT RIGHT!! We have 3 bedrooms , but she does not want the guests to sleep in the guest rooms because it has 2 double beds only! I told my MOM my concern that it seems not right to give the Masters BR.... but she says that AM SELFISH!!!!!!!! That's always been the case whenever we have visitors.. but this time that I have a partner living in with me , I think it's just time to stop my over-generousity of giving away the Master BR!Am I selfish????
2007-07-11 05:49:48 · 29 answers · asked by pinaytechie 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thanks all for you answers. Almost 99.99% I've asked say same thing. I hope my mom realizes that when I get home from work today. I'm just TOO tired of following her rules!! I'm just being respectful of OLD people so I used to say YES to her rules. Now am working on implementing my OWN RULES!
2007-07-11 06:09:10 · update #1
FYI. My BF is my long-time partner (4 yrs) and not a secret relationship - it's a LEGIT one and there's no reason to hide it from the guests - all my relatives know him.. and we're getting married next year. So the issue here has nothing to do with my parner...
2007-07-11 06:14:09 · update #2
They should sleep in your mom's bedroom. She can stay at a hotel.
2007-07-11 05:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am confused about the guest room having two double beds "only"; a double bed is more than enough room for two people to sleep very comfortably together. I have even shared a twin bed before. There should be no problem having a married couple sleeping in a smaller bed than they may be used to.
The master bedroom is only surrendered to the most important of guests in the tightest of pinches - ie, if your own parents were coming for a wedding and the guestroom was already occupied by other houseguests. You are right not to give up your own bedroom in your own house when there is a perfectly useful one elsewhere in the home.
It seems to me that your mother might be uncomfortable with your relationship, which sounds like a same-sex partnership. If she is uncomfortable with her relatives knowing that your partner "sleeps over", that is one issue - after all, we all have some very conservative family members who wouldn't approve. But you should not feel you have to hide your relationship just because it is with someone of the same gender. Ask her if either of these questions are part of the problem; having your partner over for dinner but not the whole night is a good solution for this problem, without making your coneal a part of yourself.
2007-07-11 06:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. The purpose of a guest room is for guests. Can they not push the beds together? My goodness! Your mom has a lot of nerve asking you to remove yourself from your own house. Does she not realize that you pay the mortgage. I would firmly but nicely tell your mom that it is your house and you will not sleep in another house when a guest room is available. I am sure your mom's guest will be fine with sleeping in the guest room. I would not give in on this one. Her friends can get a hotel if your house is not sufficient to them.
2007-07-11 06:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by JoliCart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I've always learned that the host never gives up their own bedroom.
It seems to me that she just doesn't want her guests seeing you and your partner together. I suggest she give up her own bedroom and sleep in the guest bedroom. Otherwise, the guest bedroom will work just fine for them. It's nice that she has an opinion and all, but it is your house.
Time to be a big girl and lay down the rules.
2007-07-11 05:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should certainly NOT give up YOUR room for your mother's or anyone's guests. You have a GUEST ROOM... it's not like they have to sleep on the floor! If you mother is so concerned about them sleeping in separate beds for a few nights - then why doesn't SHE give up HER room for her guests?
As a guest in your house, they can either be thankful for the accommodations that you are able to provide for them - or they can book a room at the local Motel 6. But under no circumstances should you be displaced from your personal space/room in your home - no matter WHO is visiting - especially not when you have a guest room!
2007-07-11 06:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by Trishy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If these people are HER guests then she needs to find accomodations for them - not in your room. If you were just roomates and not relatives she would never ask you to give up your space. I think it is fine for the guests to sleep in the guest room - they can either deal with twin beds for 2 days or push them together. Just tell your mom firmly that you are not going to give up your room, but that you would gladly help push the twin beds together - you can even find a special strap that woudl hold them together and then you could get a kind size sheet set (if you think that this situation might happen again).
2007-07-11 05:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by Rob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to act like a grown up. Your mom is wrong. Tell her NO. You need to stand up to her from now on. YOu are no longer her little girl. Master bedroom has all your personal things and it is not convenient for guests to be in it. I would not even let my parents sleep in my master bedroom ie MY room let alone guests. Guest rooms are for guests, master bedroom is for the master. If they are not happy, then don't visit.
2007-07-11 20:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The master bedroom is just that - the bedroom for the masters of the house, as in the heads of household. Guests stay in 'guest bedrroms' and that's why they're called that. Your mom is just being controling - you aren't being selfish.
2007-07-11 07:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just politely say, Mother, I have tried nicely to tell you no, but now, I will have to decline permanently. I am sorry. But we can push the two beds together in the guest room, if that makes you feel more better. And if she says your selfish, just say, No mother, I am not selfish, and I am sorry, but I need my bed to come home to after work.
2007-07-11 07:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by towerofterrorfreek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello? If it's YOUR house, that YOU pay for, why should you have to give up your room? (If it's your mom's house that she pays the bills on, then her opinion does count...) But, here's the other thing - unless the guests are elderly or have physical issues that forbid them from sleeping in a lower or smaller bed, there's NO reason for them to take your room.
2007-07-11 06:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have another place to go -- your partner's place. So yeah, I agree with your mom and you should make way for the guests. Or sleep in the guest room on a single bed and send your partner home for the night.
With so many beds to choose from, I don't know why you're all bent out of shape about giving up the most comfortable one for guests of your family. It's only two days.
2007-07-11 06:00:42 · answer #11 · answered by sparki777 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋