My friend who is a girl rides a bus to work every morning. On many occasions, she rides the same bus as this guy who keeps asking her out on a date. It's not clear whether it's romantic or not, either way, she has a boyfriend, but she's just not too interested, either in the date or in the person. She's just refused all the last dates, but hasn't made it clear that she doesn't really ever want to go out with him. If she just mentions she's not available, he could probably just turn it around and say it's nothin glike that. What are some good and bad ways to turn down a guy?
2007-07-11 05:25:44 · 13 answers · asked by flyable penguin 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If I were in her position, I would say "I will check with my boyfriend and I will tell you if we could go out.."
2007-07-11 05:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by SinAlas 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The easiest and kindest way is actually to be straight and come right out and say what you are thinking.
If you turn down a guy by saying something like "maybe some other time" they will believe they still have a chance.
If you just say "no, I don't like you" or "already have a boyfriend" its better because you get a straight answer and know to move on.
2007-07-11 05:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by Derick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She should quietly say something like:
"I appreciate your attentions but I have a boyfriend. I am sure you are a nice guy and all, but I have a full schedule and am not interested in seeing you or pursuing a friendship with you."
And she can add "Please stop asking me out."
Straight forward and to the point is best. As long as she does not make a big scene of it, he will on be hurt a little bit but at least he will know she is not interested and he can move on.
If he persists, then she can make a scene and should talk to the bus driver or company.
2007-07-11 05:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by David V 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
"Thank you for asking. I'm very flattered but I'm seeing someone"...if he doesn't get the point, he's just dense...ignore him if possible, if not, stronger measures may be called for.
I remember a guy that kept pursuing me a few years ago...I tried everything to be nice and let him down easy but he kept asking me out when he saw me...I'd be sitting at a table with a group of friends and he would keep asking me to dance, trying to sit next to me (without waiting for an invitation), and putting his hand on my shoulder (like he was trying to send a "she's mine" message).
Finally I had enough and he finally gave me the perfect opportunity when he asked "why" after I turned down his latest (and last) request to dance. I asked him if he really wanted to know why and he said yes so I told him the truth starting with his greasy hair, working my way donw, and ending with the fact that I thought he was a potential rapist because he didn't know how to take "no" for an answer! He never bothered me again!
2007-07-11 05:38:31 · answer #4 · answered by KAL 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she's already been nice about it numerous times and the guy STILL doesn't get the picture, I'd personally say, "LOOK, I DO not want to go out with you, nor do I wish to be friends. Please don't talk to me again!" That makes it clear that she doesn't want him bothering her at all. Some guys don't understand what "leave me alone" means. She needs to be blunt with this guy - otherwise he's going to continue to pursue her.
2007-07-11 05:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by crabbyone 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A good way is to ride a different bus, or just say, I am terribly sorry, but i am buissy for these next months, ask again next year, then when he does say the same thing, it might get through his head
2007-07-11 07:31:36 · answer #6 · answered by towerofterrorfreek 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell her to tell him, "look, you seem like a nice guy, but i have a boyfriend, and i don't plan on breaking up with him, hence, it's impossible that we go out." then she can roll her eyes & turn away. this guys isn't getting it, but it's because she's not being totally honest. she's just gotta spill it & hopefully he'll get it. if not, next time she'll just have to ignore him all together.
2007-07-11 05:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by mrs sexy pants 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good: "Sorry, I'm seeing someone." "No, thank you." "I'm not interested in a relationship or dating right now." "I don't think we connect well, but thanks anyway." "You're not my type." "I have a really busy schedual." "I'm meeting someone later that day and I have appointments the rest of the week."
Bad: "Raise your hand if I like you... no, put your hand down." "Sorry, but I don't date ugly people."
2007-07-11 08:22:36 · answer #8 · answered by dolce 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The way to get rid of the pest is to tell him that she is engaged. Then he might leave her alone.
2007-07-11 05:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by jenesuispasunnombre 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never give an excuse or reason, unless you want them to ask again.
If you say you're busy then, they'll keep asking.
Just turn him down.
Each time.
"No, thank you."
2007-07-11 08:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋