Mother needs help!?

Question

I'm on my daughter's yahoo answers. I tried to make an account for myself but it would not allow me to do so. When I am able to make my own account I will post this on my questions and answers thanks I apologize for any inconvenience

My youngest daughter just graduated from high school. I have 2 other daughters and a son who also graduated a few years back and have never acted the way my daughter has about the transition from high school to college.

My youngest daughter had it very hard throughout her 12 years in school. She was picked on a lot and just harassed very badly by students. My husbands daughter is also going through this. She's not mentally challenged or physically handicapped or anything of the sort she just got picked on a lot.

Well, now my daughter is going to college and what she wants amazed me. She wants to purchase everything new. New bed sheets blankets pillows clothes including all new underwear bras shoes socks tee-shirts long sleeve shirts sweatshirts

everything new. She has even gone as far as to pay $300.00 to purchase a new cell phone and ask for a new number. She just recently got a razor phone! I recently bought her a mac. book with the money she got from family and friends at graduation.
She is going to dye her hair darker. Right now she has light brown hair and plans to dye it before school starts. She wants to get another piercing she already has 2! She isn't hanging out with many friend's from high school at all. NOT ONE GIRL. She already even has started packing for college when it's over a month away!
why is my daughter acting like this!?!
I'm concerned
Is this normal behavior?

everything new. She has even gone as far as to pay $300.00 to purchase a new cell phone and ask for a new number. She just recently got a razor phone! I recently bought her a mac. book with the money she got from family and friends at graduation.
She is going to dye her hair darker. Right now she has light brown hair and plans to dye it before school starts. She wants to get another piercing she already has 2! She isn't hanging out with many friend's from high school at all. NOT ONE GIRL. She already even has started packing for college when it's over a month away!
why is my daughter acting like this!?!
I'm concerned
Is this normal behavior?

Answer 1

Frankly, though I don't know anyone who has done this, it does sound normal. I put up a HUGE fit to go out of state for school because I wanted a new start. Imagine how much more money that cost. I always go out and buy new things when starting a new phase in my life just to try to help remind myself that I am progressing forward in life.

Let her buy new things. If she doesn't have the money, she can earn it with a job. It's very easy to meet new people in college, so I wouldn't worry too much about her shrugging off high school friends. Besides, she can always get back in touch with them in the future if she would like to.

By the way, I'm 23 and about to move cross-country, so this sounds pretty close to home.

Answer 2

Can you see what's going on here? She's desperate to begin a new life. College is a huge transition and she wants an entirely fresh start. This includes everything that surrounds her, all the stuff in her life. Humor her a little, let her decide which changes are really important, and purchase a few new things. Obviously you cannot purchase her an entirely new wardrobe, etc., etc. But you can send her off with a few new items. This is about shedding her old skin and becoming someone new. I know how she feels. When I left for college, I moved a thousand miles away and began an entirely new life. It have never regretted it. I never did move back home. I've remained close to my family and a few friends, but I've been very happy in my post-college years. Make sure she knows that this can, in fact, be the beginning of a whole new life. She's got the rest of it in front of her. Go for it.

Answer 3

I don't really understand your question, there might of be some details missing, but with wanting all new stuff for college. That is perfectly normal. College is a big transition into pretty much...well...adulthood. Especially if she had a hard time during her first 12 years of school she is probably relating all the "new" stuff with having a fresh "new" start. If I were you, I would support her in wanting this. Go OverBoard......NO. But let her start fresh in her own way. If money is an issue (when isn't it?.....find that out......let ME know) than have her help pay for some of the new things......explain to her that you complete support her and would love for her to get all new things but she needs to help pay for some of those "new" things too. If she has a job, this will be ideal, if she doesn't maybe she can help you around the house to earn those things. Nothing in life is free including a "new" start. But this way not only does she get the "new" stuff she's wanting but by helping pay for the things she will have that much more pride in her belongings.

Answer 4

Thats not entirely too weird, but this is coming from someone who also redcently moved out of a home state environment. I have been living in places where everything was provided for me and now I am out on my own in my own apartment. So in my state of mind new place I wanted all new things, I bought new bed new TV new sheets. I am not big on personal clothes but I bought new uniforms (by the way I am in the Army) new boots new socks new under shirts new undergarments etc.

I was in a sense the same way I was always picked on in school because I was smaller then alot of the people I went to school with and I had a confidence issue. Anyways what I can tell from my own experience is that its a way to start a new life for ourselves to make us feel like we are better people. At least thats what I see, because I am a new person I am different then I was back then and your daughter my be trying to start a new life for herself.

Now I have a job and paid for everything myself (minus my bed) because thats the way I wanted it I wanted to start my life with my money and little or no help and so far I have. It sounds like your daughter might be trying to do the same thing.

Answer 5

My best guess is that she doesn't want to go through the same harassment in college that she went through in high school. She may think that clothes and things make the person. I would explain to your daughter that college is a new start full of new experiences and that she should embrace the fact that she is able to, basically, make a new name for herself. I discovered after high school ( I graduated 10 years ago) that the same people who were cool then are anything but cool now. If I were you, I would get what I could afford and then tell your daughter that her old stuff is new to people who have never seen it before. Good luck to your daughter. College is going to be what she makes it. She is not the same teased kid she was in high school.

Answer 6

nicely, I became a confirm as a teenager, when I had my son. Later in life (13 years later, to be appropriate) we accompanied 2 infants, so I became a mom back, at an older age. in accordance to my reviews, right this is how I see the pros and cons: youthful mothers have greater potential (that's a known one), additionally, i'm able to connect with my teenage son o.k. because of the fact we don't have 20-30 years of generational difference between us. themes that are appropriate to little ones now, have been additionally appropriate whilst i became right into a teenager. youthful mothers won't be financially preserve. this would not impression parental love, or the flexibility to be a sturdy confirm, yet springing up short on the month-to-month costs leads to a great form of tension. additionally, youthful mothers won't have the emotional adulthood to truly placed a infant's desires formerly their very own. Older mothers have greater life adventure and (with a bit of luck) the awareness that is going alongside with that. they are many times greater financially preserve and don't have that further tension. besides the indisputable fact that, older mothers don't have that run around all day potential that their youthful opposite numbers do. now and back a significant generational difference can convey approximately communications breakdown if little ones evaluate their mum and dad to be dinosaurs that basically don't understand.

Answer 7

I don't understand what her being picked on has to do with wanting to buy everything new?...DO you feel like you "owe it to her" to buy her all new?Tell her what I tell my kids.."When you are finished with college, WOW...you can get a great job and buy anything you want!" She is trying to "fit in", of course, but has to know that material things don't make a better heart...people need to like her the way she is and buying that 35 dollar Mall shirt at the thrift store for 3 bucks will be fine. NO ONE will know! I have 4 girls. My 12 yr old is way into the $$$ clothing yet is content to shop at the thrift store because no one can tell. I mean, if you have a 100-200 dollars, that would be fine for a good college start, but...

Answer 8

You only get to make a first impression once. That seems what she is intending on doing is making a good first impression. She figures if she brings all new clothes and bed stuff that she will be better off with a good first impression and no one will pick on her like they did in high school. She feels that she is going someplace where no one knows her and she wants to get off to a good start. If you can do it financially there shouldnt be any reason not to. She doesnt seem to be asking for anything extravagent. Just what she needs to get off to a good start at her new home for the next four years.

Answer 9

My daughter is 12 and she knows the value of money. She wants expensive things also but she has to purchase these items on her own with her weekly allowance. I only buy her expensive items on her birthday and Christmas.

Maybe your daughter should get a job (if she doesn't already have one). Have her pay for the things she "really" wants. You can purchase the items she NEEDS.

Answer 10

She wants a New Start - That is perfectly fine and I would incourage it - I understand buying everything New can be hard on the wallet but try to make it happen for her - Look for great sales they are everywhere soon in time for school - She must not be happy with who she was in High School and wants a new experience and a better one - This is a great oppertunity for you to help her find herself -