Proper etiquette for planning a housewarming party?

Question

My parents and I disagree about the proper etiquette for planning a housewarming party. I am a single woman that just purchased a house on my own. I started a registry of items for a housewarming party (which is a legit category of registries at all houseware stores. Check any website). My parents said that someone else is supposed to plan the party. How could someone else plan a party at my own house??! A housewarming is supposed to be a way of saying "Welcome to my home...come see it!" Also, how should the invitations be worded? Normally registries are for married couples. Can I just put "Registered at Linens N Things"? at the bottom?

My logic on the registry is that couples who are engaged or married and have TWO incomes receive gifts for an engagement party, a bridal shower, AND the actual wedding. Buying a home on your own is just as big, if not bigger, of an accomplishment as tying the knot! A lot of people do this..

Answer 1

I understand your dilemma. Plan the housewarming. Pretend you don't want gifts. If anyone asks - and they will, because people understand that a housewarming is a legitimate gift-giving occasion especially for a single woman like yourself - just say, "oh, well, a gift card to L&T would be appreciated." Tell your parents to say the same thing if anyone asks them what you'd like. But don't mention the registry on the invite, although I think it's a great idea. I have a friend who just bought her first home and is planning a HW party. I keep asking her what she wants, and she keeps blowing me off. Guess what she's getting? Right! A gift card to L&T.

Answer 2

Housewarming Etiquette

Answer 3

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RE:
Proper etiquette for planning a housewarming party?
My parents and I disagree about the proper etiquette for planning a housewarming party. I am a single woman that just purchased a house on my own. I started a registry of items for a housewarming party (which is a legit category of registries at all houseware stores. Check any website). My...

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Housewarming Registry

Answer 6

The housewarming party is a great idea. The registry is not.

I typically pick up a nice bottelof wine, gift card $25-50, picture frame, kitchen gadget, etc. for these type of events. The house warming party is not a money maker and if if try to make it one it will be obvious and people will resent it.

Most people know what to bring to these things and it should not be compared to a bridal shower or a birthday party for you.
My reccomendation is RELAX, send out a simple invite, put out some good food, a little booze, and some good music. Whatever comes to you will come.

Just a few examples of what I have bought in the past:
My sister: wine rack and stocked it
co-worker: Garcia Merlot and Mondavi Pinot (wite and red)
nieghbors son: nice picture frame with a pic from their wedding inserted.

Answer 7

There is absolutely nothing wrong with planning your own housewarming party. I do think it's tacky to register for gifts, though and tell people you're expecting gifts. People will probably bring some, but you have no business giving them a list of what to bring. It's different for a couple getting married and setting up a household or having their first baby. Should someone call and tell you they want to know what you need, you can tell them you've registered at Linens N Things, but reiterate that it's their company you are welcoming. Good luck and congratulations on your new home!

Answer 8

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I'm with you. Although it would be more spacious to have two parties, it's also a nightmare to plan. Sure, it might be cramped, but why not open up your patio or back yard - put out some candles and lanterns and send people outside! Move some furniture around so that you can have more space (ie: push your coffee table against the wall so that you can use the floor space in your living room). I live in a super small home, but that doesn't limit my guest list. When people are coming over, I move my coffee table into my bedroom and stash other random junk in the bedroom and just close the door. It really just takes organization. The kitchen is always a popular mingling place, so push your kitchen table up against the wall to give everyone space. I'm sure you can think of something! It's your new home, everyone wants to see it so have a wonderful party. My gosh, if it's that bad, decorate the garage, set up candles, appetizer plates and chairs and send more people there. I'm sure you can find some way to fit everyone in - plus, it's family, they can get close. Really, if I saw your place I could figure something out but that's not really an option. So what I'd do is move clutter into a bedroom and close the door, move extra furniture against the wall, use folding chairs, any furniture that won't be used could go in the bedroom. Hint: If you want to get people moving around the house, put out food trays. People follow food, so if you notice that only a couple people are outside, bring more food outside! ...this is why so many people hang out in the kitchen - LOL!

Answer 9

Undo the whole registry thing.

People are NOT obligated to give you things (and the comparison in your Additionals is both irrelevant and greedy).

Of course a person plans a housewarming for themselves; as you say, it's your house, and the party is SUPPOSED to welcome people to it (which is another reason to not shake down your guests for gifts).

BTW, the traditional housewarming gifts are bread and salt.

Anyway, just invite them, giving day and time range, and address.

And where they can contact you to RSVP.

Do NOT include any hint that you expect them to give you things.

Gifts are voluntary -- that's what the word means. They are NOT an admission fee.

If people want to give you something they will.

The reason your mother thinks someone else should plan it, is that showers (where the whole point is "showering" the person with gifts) are properly given by a friend.

It's greedy and tacky to plan things for yourself that say "come and give me things".

A party is supposed to be a way to spend time with people you like, and, in your case, "break in" the new house, as it were.

I promise you, I've read a LOT of Miss Manners, and she would NOT approve of the registry.

Just because a lot of people are greedy and tacky, and stores cater to this, does NOT make it proper.

Answer 10

Hold it. Hold it. Whoa there.

Let's start with the important things first.

Legit registry categories? Get this straight. Retailers are in the business of making money - even at the expense of good manners.

Inviting ANYONE to a party in anticipation of receiving a gift is absolutely wrong. It's wrong of brides to do this - and it's wrong of new homeowners. Now, you didn't come right out and say this is why you've invited people over; but it's HEAVILY implied.

A housewarming party is exactly as you say. An invitation for your friends and family to both tour your new home and celebrate a true milestone in your life. You should plan it - not your friends. This is not a bridal shower.

Bridal showers and wedding gifts arose because in the days of chattel, it was customary for the man to own the house and land - and the woman to own he furnishings. It was also customary for the bride's family to pony up and furnish the house as her dowery - hense the bridal shower.

That said, people will want to celebrate by bringing you something. That's their choice and not yours for the asking.

That said, I suppose, in this day and age, it's OK to "register" at stores - but do not put that on the invitations. If someone asks, you can tell them politely (individually, by telephone or face-to-face - or by others doing this for you) that you really could use a widget. In fact, you have indeed realized that you have many small needs and have listed them at XXX store.

But to expect your friends and family to furnish your new house (or kitchen or bathroom etc.) is not at all acceptable.

Customary housewarming gifts include bottles of wine and maybe a corkscrew - that is if someone feels generous. Housewarming gifts do NOT include entire sets of patterned china or small appliances or linnens etc.

In short, you are expected to furnish your house all by yourself.