My wedding is in 17 days. Last night my fiance and I got into a huge fight over miscommunication, but it resulted in him taking my engagement ring and saying the wedding is off. In return I said that was fine and I was leaving him and taking our two girls. We ended up making up like 3 hours later, and he gave me my ring back. Is this normal? Do people usually have these types of fights before the wedding? I guess I'm just trying to figure out if it was just stress or a sign of things to come. We used to fight a lot, but that was the first one since the planning of the wedding which has been a year now.
2007-07-11 01:57:28 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am definitely not getting married because of our kids. I love him and I have seen too many people make that mistake. He has said to me that he is marrying me for me also. Not for the kids. So that's not an issue.
2007-07-11 02:06:16 · update #1
Not normal.
You have to have effective civilized rules for handling conflict.
Using the children and the wedding as bait and means of manipulation is emotional abuse. When you get married, the next treat will be "divorce".
Consider pre-marital conselling. Most couples do fights die to pre-wedding stress but calling the wedding of and treatening to take the kids and move out are not normal way of handling a simple misunderstanding.
Good luck
2007-07-11 03:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know of a couple that didn't have a big blow-up before their wedding. Planning a wedding - especially in the last month - is a stressful time and sometimes people get short with one another. Nothing to worry about. I had a fight with my hubby and threw my ring at him - all over the cake - and we've been together for 21 years now!
2007-07-14 17:02:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand that there is a lot of stress for you both at the moment and that weddings can create a lot of tension. But to answer your question - no, it is not normal.
You are committing to be with this person for the rest of your life, and I guarantee at times during your life you will both be under a lot of stress. So every time that happens you can't have a huge argument and say you're getting divorced, or take off your wedding rings.
You're making vows to say you're going to honour and respect this person through the good and the bad. So if you can't honour those promises before your wedding, what's to say it will be any different after?
I wish you all the luck in the world as you plan for your big day
2007-07-11 18:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw I think its normal. You've never been on your own before. I got married at 19, had our first baby by 20, bought a house by 21. I just settled into all the roles as they came to me. You don't have to know how to be a wife. Because as a wife you ARE you. Nothing will change between you guys except maybe an already strong bond will become stronger. And don't worry about "finding out who you are" because if you think about it every life experience is going to change you. So if you use that as a reason you will never get married. You and your husband will both change and grow together and find out new things about "who you are" all the time. Also, you guys are set up so well. You're both done with school, have careers, and have matured. So you don't have to worry about not succeeding or something. You will do wonderful. Best of luck!
2016-05-19 05:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by odell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost all couples argue at times, that is normal, and you know the depth of your feelings and the strength of your relationship. The time leading up to the wedding can be really stressful to both bride and groom, it's very easy to judge and say "Oh that's not normal". You made up, your wedding is back on, and some of the biggst fights are caused by miscommunication, make sure that you both speak openly and clearly and avoid any further misunderstanding, you're fine, you're normal, now get back to enjoying the planning!!
2007-07-11 02:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's normal for some couples may be abnormal for others. I got married in May and my gosh, we fought like cats and dogs! I planned this entire wedding, made programs, favors, seating charts, you name it. Yes, I was stressed. And he was stressed because I was stressed. Us saying "call off the wedding" made us giggle a few minutes later...we laughed and made up. Big deal. The wedding is done and over with and we're very happy! Only you know the difference between wanting to marry someone because of the kids and then wanting to marry someone because you love him. Do what you feel is right for you and I wouldn't pay so much attention to what everyone else things is "normal". Good luck!
2007-07-11 05:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The stress of planning a wedding takes a toll on everybody.
I'm getting married in 7 days and my fiance' and I are also feeling the stress over it. His family is behaving badly, why, I don't know. I've been with him for 6.5 years, but they are behaving badly just the same. We have had quarrels over them and their behavior.
Just step back and relax, take a deep breath, it will be alright. Everybody goes through periods of miscommunications. It's normal. Don't read into it anymore than what it is. Just a fight, probably over something very trivial, if you stop and think about it.
GOD bless you and congratulations.
2007-07-14 05:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Completely normal, I hate to say it ( cause I just got married last month) but us brides get very stressed and say things and do things we do not realize we are doing. We do this the whole time we plan a wedding and it completely stresses out the groom. So about a week before the wedding... they snap, then it is all fine and dandy. It happened to me and my other friends that were brides too. Do not stress over it.
2007-07-11 02:23:14 · answer #8 · answered by Va princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the stress of planning a wedding escalates everything, and is like having another job to do, especially with kids to worry about, etc. I would sit down with him and talk it out, ask about how he's feeling about the wedding, how are you feeling? You two probably need to find a strategy of how to deal with stressful situations.
2007-07-11 03:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know deep down whether this is normal for you two. I don't think it is a good sign. It's one thing to have an argument it's another to threaten cancelling the wedding. Don't get married just because you have kids together if that is what you are doing.
2007-07-11 02:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by CURRIEND 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋