Ive been with my husband for 11 years but got married last Dec. right before he left for basic.We have 5 yr old and Im 9 months preg.Right before he was deployed he started acting strange.Coming home late at night after work,quit calling me during lunch(which he would call everyday before that) avoiding me and our son,completely stopped talking to me,and would go straight to bed,and not even touch me or want to have sex.I started question him and he said I just didnt understand what he was going through with having to go to Iraq,that I was just crazy.Well he left and I checked his email and there are emails from him to a girl, and her responding.He tells her he misses her like crazy and carries her picture by his heart until he comes back.Shes in the army also.I only know this because he tells her he hopes she is able to deploy so they can be together.says he cant wait to see her beautiful smile and is so lonely without her.I found her cell # and her full name. I need some good advice
2007-07-11 01:06:03 · 20 answers · asked by Lynn L 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I wish there was an easy answer...while I'd love to tell you that its best to move on, with children involved, try to seek counseling. Find a good support system for yourself through church or your family. Pray for guidance and I believe it will come to you.
2007-07-11 01:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by scrmomkt 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Remember the 4 C's
1- Get copies of everything. Without them, no proof.
2 -Contact his and her (if possible) Company Commander / 1SG. The respective CO's can issue "no contact orders" to the both of them. Adultery is punishable under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).
3- Contact the Chaplain. You may not need his/her help but it pays dividends with the next step.
4- Contact / Contract Legal Council. Military law won't touch divorce cases so you'll have to get a civilian lawyer.
Best of Luck
2007-07-11 01:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by Blade 6 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is legal recourse for this through UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice). Stop by the legal office on post with the evidence you’ve collected. YES, the military still prosecutes soldiers for adultery.
2007-07-11 03:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by Jump Master 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that i know if shes a sgt. or above & your husband is like a pvt, then you can go tell his chain of comand & he with her included will get in some deep mess. Im sure that he didnt tell you that when your married you cant have no other relationships with no other soldier even if they are both pvt's. Plus if you have all the prove ..which i know you do then you will get every right. Now if you & him get seprated they you get to get a certain % of his income. Depending on how many children you have.Also if the chain of comand doesnt do nothing then you can go telling the IG NOW they are all in big trouble. Girl i dont about you but if that was my husband i would want him to get in trouble for doing what he did wrong. No matter what you will get every right of all the money you obtain to get cuz you have prove of his cheating.Now if you dont want to get in to troble then i suggest you tell him that your going to go tell his chain of comand & oh you will either make him stop or make her stop talking to him. well that ive seen many military personal doesnt want to do extra duty for the rest of there miltary career .. i suggest you call JAG or like i told you CHAIN OF COMAND.. good luck.. either way your going to win... god bless!
2007-07-11 02:19:20 · answer #4 · answered by dramaqueen62479 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The first thing to do is ask if you want to and if there is enough of your relationship left with your husband to save this marraige. If the answer is yes, and you feel he is willing to do what it will take to save the marriage, tell him he is to stop seeing her or contacting her immediately or you will notify his commander of the behavior as well as turning over all the contact info you have on her. Remind him that what they have done is not only hurtful to you, but potentially so damaging to thier respective military careers that they could both be tried under the UCMJ and dishonarably discharged. Insist he call and write this woman in your presence, explaining he has made the choice to try and save his marriage and she is to stop any and all contact. Make her aware of the fact that you are willing to go up the chain of command with this is she persists. Insist he attend marital counseling with you as part of this aggreement.
If your husband refuses to end the relationship, ask him to leave the house. You can choose to tell the command what is going on or you can simply proceed as if your marriage was over on other grounds. That will be your choice as telling his command could end up costing him his career.
In either case, call Tricare for a list of civilian therapists in your area. Start seeing on on your own to help you with all of this and, if your husband agrees to trying to fix things, get another for marital counseling.
2007-07-11 01:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him... dont get so upset it turns into a yelling match... talk to him.... seriously... dont talk to everyone else before you talk to him... im gonna say it again... talk to him.... maybe its not what you think at all and if it is you need to hear it from him...
my husbands deployed right now and he has friends that are women they talk all the time... some of the women are people whose hands his safety lies with....
Find out form him whats going on... then make a decision based on whats right for you and your children...
May your childrens father and your husband remain safe and come home soon...
2007-07-11 01:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by hugtheplag 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Please don't do anything you will regret that is pretty serious he can be kicked out for that Talk to him and just love him this is a hard time when and if he comes home straighting thing out will be a priority and just work thing out and take a deep breath and do thought process other wise you will loose what you love
Remember to look up
Karie email me
2007-07-11 01:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by Karie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sweetie, first thing's first- TAKE CARE OF URSELF AND MAKE SURE YOU DELIVER YOUR BABY WITHOUT ANY COMPLICATIONS and make sure that's fine.
AFTER that, theeeen you may start making your move. Confront him if you want (but not infront of the children since that can taint the for ever) alll the arguing that might happen.
If you dont, then go straight to divorcing ......dont worry, if he did cheat on you, just think- He doesnt deserve you. you desere a man totally 100% devoted to u.
God bless.
Take care hun.
Bye bye
2007-07-11 01:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by Curious10106 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First you have to have your baby. The next thing is either confront your husband, or go to an attorney, or both, if you need guidance.
2007-07-11 01:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by Beau R 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Make copies of the e-mails and sue for divorce, dump him now before something bad happens to you for confronting a psychopathic killer. War changes everyone it touches, don't become a statistic!
2007-07-11 01:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by samhillesq 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋