Mother-in-law question!!!!!!!!?

Question

My boyfriends mum comes to our new house everyday to keep our dog company for a few hours while we are at work. The trouble is she keeps doing my housework, moving things around making our bed!!! Whilst I am grateful of her help with the dog I feel very uncomfortable with this, especially the bedmaking! Am I being petty? How should i address this problem?

Answer 1

Truth to tell I once did something like that when I was baby sitting for my granddaughter. I washed the dinner dishes. Well my daughter-in-law had a fit. Till this day 25 years later, I do not do anything in the house unless I ask her permission.

I do understand you. I would never go into her bedroom. To me that is a very private place. So I suggest the following.

Let her know how much you appreciate her help. In fact you should by her a gift as a token of appreciation. Explain to her that you have a quirk, but you really feel uncomfortable when she goes into your bedroom, and would like her not to go in there. At the same time, you can mention that many times you can't find thing and have to look for them. So you would also appreciate if she would not move things out of its place, as you know where you left them, but you don't know where she put them.

Regarding the bedroom, if she still continues then I would get a doorknob that has a lock on it. When you turn something on the doorknob it locks. Keep the key on your key chain with your car, and house keys.

Truth to tell she is most probably bored while she is dog sitting and this is her way of keeping herself busy. There are really two sides to the story. So if it really bothers you that much then do as I suggested above.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Does she criticize you for having a messy house? If not, she is just trying to be helpful and probably really likes you or she wouldn't do it. If she criticizes you though then she is sticking her nose in where it dosen't belong. She may also just be bored while she's there and needs something else to do. You are feeling uncomfortable I think because you are afraid she will think you are a messy housekeeper and you worry what she thinks of you. I know that's how I would feel if it was me. The bed making probably embarrasses you because that is you and your boyfriends personal space and that is where you have your most private and personal moments.Right? I know I would feel that way too. Does she have a good sense of humor? If she does you could always just tell her this..... I really , really appreciate the work you are doing around here it always looks so nice when we get home but you know I get really uncomfortable with you being in our bedroom because that is where we do (you know what) and that just embarrases me because you are his mother and it just dosen't feel right to me. Then just make the bed every morning so she has no reason to go in there. She will probably feel a little embarrassed for assuming that you would appreciate it. Otherwise, try to be grateful that someone wants to help out. I would love that. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Think of all the time the lady is saving you, are you willing to give that up? Or is there another compromise that could be made that would make you both happy. Maybe setting limits, but being gracious for the efforts she is going through for you. Maybe it fills a place left empty by the leaving of her son from the nest? I would talk to your boyfriend and express your concerns to see how it would affect your relation, or maybe to get some intel on how to effectively communicate with the mother-in-law. I wish you all the best in what ever you decide.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I know how you feel. In my experience, moms think of their children as children all the time. She thinks she is helping but tell her it makes you feel like she does not approve of how you keep your house. I would be very thankful while saying it though. Make it seem like you don't want her to go through the trouble. But making the bed - good lord that is awkward. Maybe try taking the dog to her house?

Answer 5

She is your "boyfriend's mother" NOT your mother-in-law. Tell her you are grateful for the help, but would prefer to do these things yourself. You might want to make the effort to get up a bit earlier and straighted the house and make the bed, before you leave for the day.

Answer 6

Why don't you get up five minutes earlier and make the bed before you leave for work. Then sit down and talk directly with her and your husband. Thank her for doing those things in the past but, tell her that isn't her responsibility but yours and your husbands. Be honest.

Answer 7

if you feel really uncomfortable with it, i would start by making my bed in the morning. I know i hate it when others make mine, so i started making it before i left. i know this may not sound too great, but ask your boyfriend if she is always liek this. i know that my mom is always cleaning even at other people's house. something she just can't controll! :]

good luck!

Answer 8

Think very seriously if this is really that big of a deal. Learn to pick your battles. Personally I make my bed as soon as I'm out of it, so if that is your biggest concern make it before you leave.

Maybe, just maybe she is doing this out of the kindness of her heart. She's probably just trying to help.

Answer 9

Make your own bed before you go to work. It takes like 30 seconds.

After work, do the dishes and tidy up. Then your mother-in-law won't be doing all that stuff for you.

Answer 10

I've have been w/ my boyfriend for 8 years. His mother has caused us nothing but hell. She tried to separate us. She even read my diary and made up accusations. She claimed my kids and lied about how much she received. She tried everything. I use to bite my tongue and agree w/ her just for the sake of me and my boyfriends relationship. You need to stand up for yourself. Because once my mother-in-law sensed I wouldn't say nothing she would cause more damage. She would leave 4 page letters in my car. Once you stand up for yourself you will feel soooo much better. If you don't they will test your limits! Now she knows I don't put up w/ ****!