month but her Godfather's Mum died suddenly last week and was buried on Saturday though. As he had to take bereavement leave as holidays in order to get paid he cannot get the time off he originally scheduled for the christening.
More than that though, last week when he was worrying over it I said not to. That given the circumstances it would not be a problem to put it back a couple of months to a better time - thinking that after just losing his Mum having such a contrasting event is just inappropriate.
Anyway - now my family are up in arms about it. I seem to have offended everyone by choosing to postpone the event for these reasons.
No specific invitations were sent. No-one else has to work a Sunday and thus take time off. Not one of my family offered or was going to help with the likes of organising or decorating the house/buffet/cost etc so I feel really bemused as to why they are so angry.
They are not even religious!
Anyway - my Mum's exact words were that life
2007-07-10 23:46:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
goes on and I should go ahead without the Godfather.
She really likes him so it is not a personality clash or anything but this attitude as I say bemuses me. I wrongly thought that people would understand and would not mind making it a month or 2 later.
What am I missing because as I say I feel bemused my family cannot be more understanding and instead seem to have adopted a huffy stance?
Her Godmother has just been off the phone too - she thinks I should go ahead also and just video the event for her Godfather who cannot make it only because his Mum died!
This to me seems so unfair and just plain wrong.
Family's attitude is that the whole event should not be postponed for one person and her Godmother's attitude is that I should speak to Godfather and explain the situation. I can't do that either as he is a really kind person and he would be so hurt and mortified at having caused such a furore. At a time like this I feel it is hassle he does not need. Help!
2007-07-10 23:49:35 · update #1
Your family will just have to be a bit more mature and understanding about things. It's your daughters christening, so you have the final say. If they don't like it then it's tough.
2007-07-10 23:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by powder 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your daughters christening so you do what you feel is right if that means postponing the christening then by all means postpone it.
Apart from the childs parents the most important people at the christening are the god parents and l think it is lovely that you are taking the feelings of her god father into account at his sad time and l am sure he respects you for that.
As for the rest of your family how can they be so disrespectful do it your way love, and if they don't like it tell them not to bother coming at all by the sounds of it they don't deserve an invite anyway
2007-07-11 04:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suppose i can see both sides here, your mum was obviously looking forward to seeing her grand daughter being christened, as would all your family, the timing of the godfathers sad event was bad, but thats life for you, and, if you wait until no one has a drama going on, she may never get christened, perhaps the christening could have been a little light relief in these sad times, and there is nothing like a new baby to make everyone appreciate life. Your mum is right about one thing-life goes on. this isnt a rehersal, you have to live every day, why postpone? a christening is a nice event, not a riotous party, this is your daughters day, and yours and her dads, let your family join in celebrating her new little life
2007-07-10 23:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree you should postpone the event. It is not your Mum's or other family members decision.
This is a very important event in your daughter's life and besides her parents the God parents are of the utmost importance at a christening. Aren't God parents standing up what a big part a christening is all about?
2007-07-11 03:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are absolutely right to postpone, for the sake of the godfather and the atmosphere in general, you wouldn't want the day marred by unhappiness. And you are not inconveniencing anyone, your family are over-reacting. It is your decision, do what you feel is right, and tell your family firmly that you have made your decision and that is that. That is life!! Anyway they can't expect you to have the christening without the godfather!! (I'm not religious at all, but I'd still support you in your decision).
2007-07-10 23:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. If you chose him as a godfather, and he cannot be there on this ocassion, postpone it. Ask your mom what she would have done if one of her parents had passed away and she were to be a godmother and could not leave her job because of that death. Yes, postpone it. God knows you do want to have your child christened, and so do you and her godparents. Wait for a month, or until he can be free again to be able to be with you and your child. Do what your heart tells you, and not what relatives or friends want. God will gladfully wait until everyone is available, so do not worry.
2007-07-12 11:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by Adela C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you apologize for offending them, but you feel that it is important to respect the baby's future Godfather's feelings at this very sad time in his life. Tell them that you know how you would feel if the same situation happened to you. If they are reasonable, they will understand. If not, don't worry about it, just do it your way. They will eventually get over it.
2007-07-10 23:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that you really want this person to be god father, look this day is your baby's and yours, families can be very hurtful when it comes to things like this they can be only thinking of themselves when they are acting like this, at the end of the day it is up to you. You should be very proud of yourself for thinking of your friend in his dire need good on you. Stand by your guns you cant please everyone.
2007-07-11 00:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by dareena q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about it. if you never sent invitations then its fine. or didn't call anyone about the specific time. just postpone the christened.
2007-07-10 23:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by bunnygrl43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mums words were what???
postpone it, it wont harm anyone, its your daughter's day so its up to you to choose when you hold it, not them
2007-07-10 23:50:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋