My daughter's real father....?

Question

My daughter is 5 yrs old. and incredibly intelligent. I told her today that her dad isnt her real dad..i told her in a way that would make some bit of sense to a 5 yr old and she took it very well.
I just didnt want her to find out later or me tell her later and her feel like her life was a lie. And trust me, she will remember that I told her, she still remembers things I have said and done from 2 yrs ago.
would you have told your child at this age?

Answer 1

i think u made a good decision in telling her at this age. My friend went through the same thing and she was devastated at the fact that the person she called "dad" for years wasn't hers to call. Maybe she'll be more excepting to it when she's older that way she won't feel like a big part of her life was a lie. don't doubt Ur decision.

Answer 2

The longer you wait, the greater offended she would be. i think of that 7 isn't too early. i might advise chatting together with her approximately it and making the communicate area of the adoption complaints. it may well be a lot worse if her bio dad without warning comes to a decision to exercising his good to visitation. what's going to you tell her then? She probable already is acquainted with yet another newborn in her classification who has a step mom or step dad. that's a good leaping off factor for the communicate.

Answer 3

Every child is different and NOBODY knows your child like you do. I am sure you did what you felt was best for her. If she seems angry at some point its not at you remember that because sometimes kids don't know which way to direct their anger and it may come out on you. It sounds like you are a good mom that cares enough to be honest and think things through before acting. You should feel good about that.

Answer 4

you took a very good decision(probably kind of hard)...i believe that always you have to tell the truth to the kids at any age.its better to know whats goin on from you rather than some strangers..in the future im sure she will appreciate it and you'll be glad u told her so early..i think its a very good age to start talking with your child for some serious things because kids are not stupid,they can easily understand whats goin on..

Answer 5

U did the right thing Christine A. The worst thing is for her to know it from someone else aside from her mother. It's also correct to tell her at this young age while it's still free of malice & innocent. Telling her when she is fully grown makes her feel like cheated her all these years.

Answer 6

Just b'cos your child is intelligent it does'nt mean that she will absorb and remember all your personal matters and issues. You could have waited at least a couple of years more. Children are vulnerable and we should never burden them with family and personal matters until they are able to fully comprehend them and understand the issues involved.

Answer 7

ya i think i would have..because that way she wont feel later on like you were trying to keep her from him for any reason..im sure you know about teens and thier rebelion..and they would comonly use those situations to be rebeliouse and actualy leave to go live with thier fathers..and in the future many of them finaly find out the hard way why they were not in thier lives in the first place..not all of them but most of them....so telling her now gives you time and a chance to slowly get into the process of telling he about him and your reasons for why he is not in her life..slowly...she is more level headed now then she will be when she is older.....good job..

Answer 8

I had the same issue, but I waited till my daughter was older (she was 10 or 11).

Your intentions were good, and what's done is done. Don't beat yourself up over it. :)

Answer 9

i guess it's best she heard it from you and not off of the playground from other kids.
but i do have many mixed feelings about it though. i would have waited a few years.
i know children are smart, but they are not adults and cannot handle adult situations.