My boyfriend and I have been staying together for about 3 months now. It was never planned...one day I went there to spend the night at his house and never quite made it back home (I stay with my parents). This past week, he's been making comments about him needing space...and why don't I come to his house 4 days out the week instead of staying everyday. Now, I know what that looks like...so of course, I got my stuff and went back to my parents. But now the guy calls me every night...like 10ish 11ish and expects me to drive over there. Like he wants me to be there...but not stay there. My parents prefer me to stay in one place...rather than bounce back and forth because it looks bad, you know? I mean, should I just leave this guy alone or what?
2007-07-10 18:47:32 · 18 answers · asked by angela k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
men are like children.
you must act like mom and control them.
get used to it, men never grow up. we act like 13 year olds our whole life.
whats happening is this, if he wants something, he has to give something up.
thats life, want money? get up early and go to work.
he wants you, but he wants his space too. as much as guys want a woman who will just come over for sex, then leave, few women will put up with it.
he wants the sex, you want to spend the night.
you have to tell him you are not coming over for just sex, you want to spend the night. he will whine like a baby, but he will give in. not because he knows your right, but because he wants you.
dont give in, dump him if he wont budge.
remember, dating is just like baby sitting.
yes, im a guy.
2007-07-10 18:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jr. is angry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you shacked up, you became his booty-call. No commitment. Just easy sex (very easy from the way you describe). He misses the warm place to put it. He wants the milk without paying for the cow.
If he wanted to stay, he would have respected you and treated you like a lady. The behavior of an adult man in love is to want to spend the rest of his life with you by his side. But now, he's got you right where he wants you: since you are a girl, you feel bonded to him from all the sex you've had with him, so he knows that you'll just keep coming over and putting out because you "feel like your in love", then he can send you home after getting his rocks off.
If you want a better man, then don't go shacking up like this. Real men don't do that to the women they love. Next time, go through an actual courtship to find a guy who will respect you, don't just become an unpaid prostitute.
I sincerely hope that next time you position yourself better to find a better guy. Good luck.
2007-07-10 19:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by Casey M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest about your situation. Of course your parents don't want you driving around at 10 or 11 at night! Tell him that if he wants you to come over at night, you can come over at a decent hour, but then you'll have to spend the night. If he doesn't want you to spend the night, then he'll need to tell you that he wants to see you earlier (maybe at 6:00) so that you can get home at a decent hour and not freak out your parents. This also gives you back some of the control.
2007-07-10 18:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs space so give him his space. Stay at his house the 4 nights and the other 3 nights stick your ground and stay at your parents house! don't drive over there to see him! If he wants to see you on those nights he can come see you at your parents house before 10 then he can go home! This boy has you acting like a yo-yo which means he's in total control!!! take control the ball is in your court make him work for it honey!!!
2007-07-10 18:52:41 · answer #4 · answered by jessica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG what an a*s*s*
and I'm sure as you were typing this you realized that you are totally giving him what he wants without any c ommitment.. I mean ofcourse he wants you there at nite wink* wink* .... He doesn't call u cuz he misses u he calls cuz he misses IT....
if I was you I would dump the guy.. if he really cares than he's gonna propose.. or AT LEAST ask you to move in officially... I admire you for getting out as soon as he said that.. there's girls out there with no self-esteem... obviously you have some... but you still need to get it together and know what you want to be treated and what you deserve...
and ur parents are right.. make up ur mind.. and he needs to make up his.. it does look bad...
2007-07-10 18:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by sweetgirl78228 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You moved in and "played house", he wanted his space you go back home.
Date before 10 or 11...go home...quit giving yourself away. Do not be so easy to access. He calls at 10 or 11, where has he been the rest of the night? He wants you in his bed, but does he want you to be seem with him in public. Booty call???????? Think about it.
2007-07-10 18:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by mbpowell1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually these are hard situations to read when you're in them yourself. Think about what you would think if a friend of yours was going through the same thing. Also, this guy may be weird about living with a girl before marriage. This best thing that you can do is flat out ask him what he's thinking.
2007-07-10 18:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by samuel b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him calmly about his expectations and your expectations. Explain that you don't want to play games. Ask him what he sees in his future.
What it sounds like to me is that he's afraid of commitment, but he still wants everything that comes with commitment, especially the sex.
If you do decide to stay with him, you should ask for a cooling off period where you don't see each other constantly. That should help both of you gain some perspective on the relationship.
2007-07-10 18:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by Beth Rorie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell this guy that if he really cared about you, he would not want you to be driving around late at night. Tell him that either he wants you there, or he doesn't. Make up his mind. Tell him that if he can't, then he needs to start looking for someone else to be his late night booty call.
2007-07-10 18:59:33 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just leave this guy. He justs wants you for short time company, and seems selfish. This definitely does not seem like a lifetime commitment type of relationship. Unless of course that's OK with you.
2007-07-10 18:52:44 · answer #10 · answered by Dulce D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋