What do you think?

Question

I live with my mom and step dad while going through a divorce. Today, I gave my son an extra treat in addition to the treat he had after dinner. Yes I know kids arent supposed to eat that much junk but I dont normally give him that much. When my stepdad found out, he yelled at me in front of my son and said he already had a treat. I just feel that it was wrong.

Answer 1

It was wrong. This is your child, not your step fathers. He had his opportunity to raise his kids. You need to tell you step father in a nice way that you appreciate that he is letting you and your son stay there during this time, but to please refrain from yelling at you in front of your son and from telling you how to raise him. Explain to your son that he wasn't mad at you. Tell him that your step father wanted a treat too, and because he didn't get one, he got upset. That will make your son laugh and also look at your step father in a way where he won't be scared.

Answer 2

You could view the situation in 2 ways, one that would make you the bad person and one that would make your step dad the bad person. The real situation is probably somewhere in between; both you and your stepdad may be at fault.

Children shouldn't have that many treats but of course, you being the mature parent, should know how much to give. Your stepdad is probably worried about his grandson; it's not good to spoil your children. :)

However, I don't think he should've yelled at you in front of your son and judging from how you said you don't give him many treats normally, it's possible that your stepdad wasn't mad about the treat but about something else.

Did you talk to your stepdad about this? Yelling in fornt of a child is never good for their growth and well-being. Pull you stepdad aside and ask him if something is wrong. Obviously, something is bothering him but it should affect his grandson.

Answer 3

Yes, it was indeed bad judgment to yell at you and it was poor judgment to do it in front of your son. Just because you are back home for a while doesn't mean you revert back to a child. Your parents need to realize that you are not a child anymore. Many young adults with children need a soft place to land for a while, that's supposed to be home. Don't cause a fight, but take him aside and tell him, with your mom present, that you are an adult, and would appreciate them not disrespecting you in front of your child. Hopefully, you have proven to them that you are an adult so far in your life so that they will respect your wishes.

Answer 4

Yeah step dad was in the wrong. Your living under his roof doesn't give him the right to tell you how to raise your kids. And to yell at you in front of child was disrespectful , and you need to call him out on it.

Answer 5

You should talk to your stepdad privately. Calmly tell him that you appreciate his concern for your son's health. Then ask him to express his concerns privately next time.

When he yells at you next time, respond calmly. (It might help you to stay calm if you remember that your stepdad is experiencing an enormous amount of stress from having the four of you staying there.)

State your case from a position of strength. First thank him for being concerned about whatever it is next time. Then ask him to consider if his response is appropriate. Then remind him that your stay is only temporary.

The point is that staying calm robs him of his thunder. He's not really yelling at you because of whatever he's yelling about. He's yelling because you're staying in his house. If you yell back, or give in to unreasonable demands, he gets to think of himself as the good guy.

Remember that you're setting an example for your kids about how to handle bullies. Don't fight and don't cave.

Answer 6

yes it was wrong. if he had a problem with it then he should have said something to you in private. the child is yours and if you want to give him some extra once in a while it's up to you not him. you should sit your om and step dad down and let them know that you don't appriciate them correcting you in front of the child.

Answer 7

any child when he/she is pampered mean spoiling them. When you know that your S.father gave a great to your son, you would have appreciated, the result would have been good. Your father also would have felt nice and your son will imagine bad nether about you nor your father.
Note : When two families live to gather mean some one should be big in that home. You should make your father big and things will go all in smooth.

Answer 8

please try giving them healthy snacks instead. mom's tend to give 'treats' as guilt relievers. it makes you feel better as a parent to give them something that they want. my parents still yell at me in front of my kids, i just tell them they had there chance with me, and there parents were'nt standing around telling them they were right or wrong, so they dont get to do it to me. they still do it anyway. i just take a deep breath and roll my eyes at my kids! later i tell them, see? it never stops! parents always feel they have to tell there kids what to do , even when there kids have kids!

Answer 9

I agree and if this is a reasonable man you could tell him that you don't appreciate his yelling at you or telling you how to parent. And get yourself out of there as fast as you can, he sounds resentful.

Answer 10

thats gonna happen when you live with your parents or anybody else. as long as your in there house you will be expected to go by there rules. it can be frustrating and painful but grin and bare it. you'll be out on your own again soon.