Truly incredible dog
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity.
They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about 'normal' tricks.
"Well," they said, "let's try this out."
Once more they called out to the dog, and then clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
2007-07-10 17:13:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
2007-07-10 17:13:55 · update #1
A very faithful woman
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"
2007-07-10 17:14:13 · update #2
Rather boring *night*** lol.
2007-07-10 17:17:56 · update #3
Star if you like.
2007-07-10 17:19:36 · update #4
Being Honest
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his
money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When the pastor finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!" She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."
2007-07-10 17:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow you sound quite judgmental and how very incorrect of you to team all women below one catagory. Too many women have experienced adult males who get off in 30 seconds w/o an activity in the female's delight. So go play the international's smallest violin someplace else. the two genders have downfalls. sounds such as you have attracted some unwholesome women, probable because of the fact which you're in basic terms going for great form looks and not probable being concerned what sort of guy or woman she is.
2016-09-29 12:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is jsut about where I'd grab my groceries and head back home. When she asked me for groceries instead of god, then she'd get em back.
I know its jsut a joke but i think i hate that old lady.
2007-07-10 17:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
tee hee! Good ones! It is a little boring around here tonight:p
2007-07-10 17:19:09 · answer #4 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha he haa,
I lke them Mood lightener.
2007-07-10 18:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are good ones! I like smiley.george's too. Smart woman...LOL.
2007-07-10 18:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by beano™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
XD
2007-07-10 17:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋