i am 26 and my husband is 28. we have been married for eight years and we have two boys ages 4 and 6.
we have been talking about having another child, but my husband wants to wait at least another two years... he wants to pay off our credit card bills and most of our debts.
i think we should have a baby sooner, since our kids are getting older... we are ok money wise but not that well off, i know that we have a lot of debt and both of our children are in a private school and of course another baby means we will have more bills and i probably wont be back to work in a while.
i know that he makes sense but i think that we will really never be ready, and if we keep waiting we will never have another one...
how can i convince him to go for it now?
2007-07-10 16:36:37 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my husband is great... he's a great husband and a wonderful father.
2007-07-10 16:50:12 · update #1
no, convince yourself not to go for it as of this moment. your husband is correct. you need to pay the bills. i understand how you want to have another child, and im sure your husband wants it too. but a father always want to support his children. he wants to provide with everything as much as possible. being the provider, hear him, talk to him, manage and compute expenses with him. if he sees it that having another child is feasible, get ready tonight. good luck!
2007-07-10 16:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by Doctor Answer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really can't convince him, you can only persuade him into having a third child, but I wouldn't recommend doing that. It could definitely put a strain on your marriage in the long run. I'm sure he's a great guy, but if you persuade him into having a third child before he is comfortable, and you wind up even more financially unstable afterwards, guess who he's going to blame? Not the baby! Stability is a very good reason to wait, and I would try compromising with your husband, maybe wait only one year, or maybe set a goal of paying off a high bill first, and then agreeing on the third child. Compromise always works because you are then meeting half way, and no one will hold resentment in the future.
2007-07-10 16:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by TDZ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you pressuring him will only make things worse. I think you should say that you want another baby and figure out a way to start working toward your goals. In order to get debt paid off, you can pay it a little at a time and maybe sacrifice a few things. If money is the problem, just try to find ways to fix your debt. Once you fix that, you can start working on having another child. If your husband wants to wait, you should respect that. Just say once we get this amount down we will begin trying for another child. It may not be the amount that he wants, but it is more likely to work if you comprimise instead of push the idea. That's just my opinion, I hope that helped.
2007-07-10 16:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by Pregnant with Baby #2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to having children, it is only a "yes" if and when BOTH of you want another baby! Anything else is not fair to the other, and certainly setting this child up for being resented and that is unethical!
Sorry -- not what you wanted to hear, but if you really think about what is the best thing for the child, you can't go wrong!
We simply CANNOT "convince" (manipulate) people when it comes to marriage, children and other major life decisions. It is just not right.
2007-07-10 19:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by Still Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm inclined to side with your hubby. Kids cost money and another one will put you further in the hole.
It also sounds as if he's just not ready for another one. If you force the subject on him until he gives in, he may very well end up resenting the child.
Best wait until you're BOTH ready, even if that never happens.
2007-07-10 17:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest sitting down with him and calmly explain your thoughts and hopes. It is important that you do not raise your voice or mumble. You should maintain eye contact and prevent showing emotion. On a separate note, perhaps waiting is not a bad idea, you have plenty of child-rearing days ahead, so don't rush into anything. Good luck!
2007-07-10 16:52:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do I convince my husband?
2014-12-18 21:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to side with your husband on this one. Personally, i would keep with the two kids and get your lives on track.
I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes the bewt course of action is not to do something
2007-07-10 16:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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