I know I asked already but I left out an important detail.
My fiance' cheated on me with a girl he dated 3 years ago. He said it "was only" sex.
They exchanged 300 emails while he and I were dating and engaged. He asked to see her more than the one time they had sex. He asked about 6 other times and they discussed getting together 3 other times. He asked see her again and spoke to her continously after they slept together. She told him she wouldn't see or talk to him anymore if he ws seeing me, and he tried to get her attention as she pulled away. He told her we were engaged and she told him they should never speak again. After our engagement he still tried to get her attention.
When I found out, I called off the engagement/relationship but when it came out he tried to justify it as "only sex."
From a male point of view, could it just be about sex? My understanding of it just being about sex, it would be a get in, get out and get gone. This to me is not that.
2007-07-10 16:14:48 · 26 answers · asked by Alex J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is 42!!!!
And she was dating a guy at one point and he was willing to take me to the bar she was at with the guy to size the other guy up.
2007-07-10 16:15:34 · update #1
I think he loves the ex, but he's uncertain about how she truly feels for him. Guys rarely risk their hearts to be stomped on, so with you it's a comfort zone.
But even if he stays with you, he is not showing you the respect you're due, and it could end in heartache.
Spare the waste of years to come, and walk out from this relationship. Ask him for some space so he could figure himself out. When u get back together and he behaves one time the same, then make him kiss your butt goodbye!
2007-07-10 16:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by She-whom-shall-not-be-named 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on--and be quick about it! Don't hesitate to get a restraining order if he won't leave you alone, either. There is no such thing as "only sex"--that's just wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin. All the other stuff indicates that he has serious personality and emotional problems. He's stalking her. You're trying to save something and there's nothing to save. You should be fleeing in terror, because his behavior suggests that he's a psychopath.
2007-07-10 16:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not over her! Let him have her and he will realize that they broke up for a reason. He will come back to you. Do not go on with this relationship until he gets this out of his system.
I went through the same exact scenerio. We broke up he ran back to her. She was taken, so he dated her roomate. Then after a year out of the blue, we got back together. We have now been married for 6 years.
In my husband's head he always held a grudge because his ex cheated on him with a MUCH older man. (she was like 19 he was in his 40's) He felt like if he could get her back and treat her like sh*t, then he could get revenge and closure.
2007-07-10 16:25:05 · answer #3 · answered by bayoubelle24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will try and explain this, but it is totally specious, man-centric reasoning.
Men have a powerful sex drive that must be attended to. Even if he has a vigorous sex life with you, something you are unable to meet those needs.
Therefore, he seeks out another that will assist in the sex overflow for him.
This does not mean he loves you any less, but his sex needs must be fully addressed
(Look, i TOLD you it was specious, but this is how some guys think. I can have sex with a woman, but have no romantic feelings for her at all.)
2007-07-10 16:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i look like this if my gal went of with another guy and turnt 2 me and said it was only sex id ask dis question o what i not good anothe for u or somthing and then me and her over only sex dont worth i admit as a guy i have times when im realy horny (sorry for launge) and to be fair most gals around me at the time suddenly look 5x better than what they do normaly but if he cant control that then he not ready for a serious thing
2007-07-10 16:19:44 · answer #5 · answered by m b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this guy is a very childish 42-year old. Please do not marry him. He will never grow up. He wants it both ways. He is obviously still in love (or lust) with this other woman, and it won't change. You deserve a much better man in your life. It may hurt to end it now, but it is much better than divorce -- especially if you have kids first!
Good luck!
2007-07-10 16:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is cheating ok to you if it's ONLY SEX? Cheating is cheating. I don't think men usually cheat for just sex (maybe occasionally.) Exchanging 300 emails....sounds like more than sex.
2007-07-10 16:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by :) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not just sex he has feelings for her, I am afraid you are better off without him. He will only keep hurting you again and again. You should also ask him if it is O.K for you to just have sex with someone and see what his answer is to that.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-07-10 16:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by Day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense sweetie, but you're dumb for still being with this guy. Especially because he had sex with someone else while you two were together..
move on to someone who won't treat you like a pushover
2007-07-10 16:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by ms ambitious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey if you put up with it then you both will have a wonderful, lying life together. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he tells you different he's lying to you. He's not gonna change for you, and if yo forgive him he will take that to mean that he can do it anytime he wants and your gonna put up with it
2007-07-10 16:22:30 · answer #10 · answered by MOC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋