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Question

recently had a dog which was a Cocker Spaniel and he had very long hair. Now I begged my parents to get him shaved because it was so hot here, but they said not right now. I told them what could happen and that the dog is over heating and they said to not worry and we'll deal with it later. Last Thursday, my dog passed away of Heatstroke
The same reason i begged them to shave him for
and now I am so mad at my parents. They are in disbelief and I don't know if I will ever forgive them. I don't know what to say to them

Answer 1

You say they are in disbelief: do you mean they are shocked at what happened, or that they don't think it was heatstroke?
If they are shocked and upset, then they are sorry.
But I wonder. I'm not sure the hair was the only factor; I'm not sure whether it was really heat stroke. Maybe it's not what you think. Even with a hair cut, a dog can have a heat stroke if it gets too hot.
I found my dog (short-haired) one day in the back yard with a very high temperature (over 107) and unable to walk. I cooled him down in water, but he died anyway. The vet said it was heatstroke, but it wasn't even a hot day. I think it was a regular stroke. I've worked with human stroke victims and I know that a stroke can cause an extreme high temperature like that. The dog was elderly, so a stroke wouldn't be that surprising.
I would be upset too, if I thought my parents were responsible for my dog's death. But I'm older now, and I've had a lot of dogs, and I've loved them. And I know that accidents can happen; I assume they didn't think this would happen. When you are calm enough, talk to them.

Answer 2

I don't blame you for being mad. I hope you have parents that are secure enough that you could tell them exactly how you feel! But many kids don't have parents that are.
If you can usually talk to your parents about things, and you have been able to be mad around them without getting into trouble, then it would be good to tell them how mad you are about what happened.
I would hope your parents could approach you and say how sorry they were they didn't listen to you and that they really didn't think it was a danger and they wish they had listened to you. Also, they could say they realized the apology doesn't take away the pain of losing the dog. Not for them, not for you and that it was wrong.
There were probably more contributing factors to the heatstroke, like the dog being outdoors too much without sufficient shelter from heat and constant access to cool water.
There could have been other factors too, that you do not know. I am so sorry about your loss. Sometimes very bad things happen and it hurts so much and people just don't talk. Maybe for some time they can't. I hope all will be well between you and your parents eventually and that you have time to talk to them, but here is a site where you can talk to some counselors for free regarding the loss of your pet, and where you can also talk to others that have lost pets:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/Grief_Support_Center/Grief_Support_Home.htm

Answer 3

I understand how you feel...I can think of any number of similar situations with my own parents when all I wanted to do was scream, "see, I told you so" at them.

First thing I wondered was how you know it was heatstroke that killed your dog AND whether shaving him would have stopped it (even shaved or short-haired dogs can die of heatstroke when it gets hot!...pets shouldn't be left outside in the heat...it kills people too and they have no fur!). It is natural for you to believe that it was heatstroke because he wasn't shaved because you were worried about it, but that may not have been the cause.

By "disbelief" do you mean that your parents don't believe it was heatstroke or that they can't (or don't want to) believe that their refusal to shave him caused it? Or perhaps something else?

About forgiving them, please remember that we need to forgive for ourselves not for the other person. If your parents accept that they made a mistake, they already feel bad enough...trying to make them feel worse will end up hurting you as much if not more than it hurts them. Your parents are human beings and human beings make mistakes. ...and even if they don't accept that they made a mistake, you still have to live with them and carrying around a bunch of anger will cause all sorts of problems for you.

If you believe in God, ask for His help...even if you don't believe, a prayer for help in this situation couldn't hurt. I know I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

...and on a totally different note, now may be the time to ask your parents for something big like a dirt bike *smile*!

Answer 4

I am so sorry for you grief. The loss of a friend is always difficult. I am not sure how I would feel in the same situation, although I know I would be upset too. You may need to just talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Be honest.

Here is a little poem that has helped some deal with the loss of a furry friend
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Answer 5

Shaving any dog is not going necessarily keep them cooler. Even a dog that is shaved could die of heatstroke. Panting is what keeps them cool. I have 3 eskies and it gets HOT in my apartment, especially when the temps reach 90 and it's humid. Eskie have alot more fur than a spanial. Making sure they have plenty of water to drink and stay hydrated is the best thing for them. If your dog was inside, with plenty of water available, I don't see a reason for it to pass away from heatstroke. Were you keeping it outside during the day?

Answer 6

I am sooo sorry for your loss, as a vet tech in australia we see sooo much heat stress and it is a terrible way to die, I would be soo furious at my parents and quiet frankly I would ask them if they will listen to me in the future! Just because your young doesn't mean you are dumb!

Answer 7

I am soo sorry! Tell your parents that you are very dissapointed that they didn't take heed in your dog's needs. If you don't do some things, it leads to tragety. Tell them that they should have thought better. I AM MAD TOO.

Answer 8

Try asking the vet and then if he says it is heatstroke, tell your parents right away that it's their fault your dog died. (that's what I would do)