Full of sorrow... any encouragement appreciated?

Question

Hello, all:

My mother died on June 3rd after several months of battling lung cancer. Her death was exactly what she had hoped for -- peaceful and pain-free -- and for almost a month afterwards I was blessedly numb, but now the emotional anesthetic has worn off and I am full of a sorrow that is leaching away all my energy and lies in my bones and my flesh like leaded sand.

Do you have any words of encouragement you could share with me? Religious passages, prayers, poems, funny links to offer distraction... anything would be appreciated. I have to work on a computer project this evening and will be checking periodically for answers.

If it matters, I am Wiccan and so was my mother, but I'm open to words of hope from other faiths.

Thank you in advance to everyone who responds.

Answer 1

PEACE, little prariecrow, Life is as it should be. Your mother has finished her journey in the body you remember, and has moved on. We all do this, as you know intellectually, at least. But I agree - there must be a time of grieving, of remembering, and of losing a friend.

What you must do now is to LET GO.

Think of a ritual of blessing - make one up, and include in it , at the end, the releasing of a toy hydrogen balloon, as a final letting go. I have done this several times in the last ten years, and although I am fit and healthy, at 71, I have lost a lot of friends and relatives, and the release of a balloon - just a kid's party balloon, of a colour which will represent your mother - and watching it rise in the air and fly away until you can't see it any more is a truly wonderful feeling of release of sorrow. I think you'll find this little ritual will let you get on with your own life then.
Blessed Be.

Answer 2

I am very sorry for your loss, but I am happy to hear that her passing was peaceful.
I believe that one of two things have happened with her spirit. Either it has passed to the Summerland, or it is preparing to return to this world in a new body. Either way I believe that your spirits will meet again. What has happened is not so much an ending, as it is a beginning of one type or another.
Maybe instead of mourning her loss you can prepare for the time when your spirits will reunite. When you experience things, experience them for her as well. Remember them for when you do meet again so that you may share these experiences with her in her new form. Do things that the two of you enjoyed together and celebrate the time you shared as opposed to concentrating on the pain.
I hope this helps. Remember that sometimes the pain you are feeling right now is part of the healing process and allowing yourself to be sad sometimes is okay. Just make sure that it doesn't consume you.
Blessings!

Answer 3

I do know how you feel, I was there not so long ago myself. My Grandpa--who along with my Grandma basically raised me, left this world recently. I felt hollow for a very long time it seemed... at times I still feel that way. But I never could let myself break down and cry like a baby. Yes, I did cry when I got that call, but I haven't been able to since then. I can't even visit his grave yet. It seems almost useless to do so, because my Grandpa's soul isn't underground, just his earthly shell otherwise known as his body. He was in a great deal of pain for quite some time before he passed, and I know that pain isn't even in our vocabulary when we 'go home.' For that I am happy. I'm sure that your Mom is happy too, and feels for you because you are in such pain. I doubt she would have wanted that for you, for any of you. Be thankful that you know she is much more peaceful, and very happy now. You know that you'll be seeing her again someday, right? And it will seem like no time at all for her.

Check out this site. I do beleive VERY similar to you I think. This may help ease your mind some. Good luck to you, and I am truly sorry for your loss.

http://www.novusspiritus.org

Answer 4

Helo Dear Sister,
We can be thankful for the fact that your mum passed the way she wanted...not in the amount of pain she was in for a while there.....
I have been missing my Mum for nearly three years now, and i know of the total dispair you are now going through. My Mum was my best friend. And i think i will never get used to not having that close bond with her again in this life. I saw my mum every day of our lives bar a handfull, and the hole she left behind is soooo big.
An elderly friend of mine became a grandmother shortly after i lost my mum and she told me her first instinct was to phone her mum....i have discovered this to be so true, i find myself crying over what she is not here to share. This same friend told me that it NEVER gets any easier, it just gets easier to live with. and those words have seen me through some very dark patches. Both when i lost my mother and a child.
I have a personal story to share about how my Mum came through to me after her death....(2 yrs later) And if you feel it will help, let me know via email.Please add me to your IM list and maybe we can offer some comfort to each other on those long nights when it closes in on us.
Bright Blessings Sister....
Ariel
)O(

Answer 5

I am very sorry for you loss. The death of a family member is never an easy one, especially a parent. As we begin our journey through this life they are the ones we depend upon most, and until we are much older we tend to consider them superhuman and indestructible. As the effects of time wear on we learn differently and when they cross the veil, we tend to see the awful truth that life is just a part of the journey we travel.

One of my favorite quotes (and on my 360) is "You are smarter than you think, stronger than you seem, and braver than you believe, and ever if there is a time when we are apart I will always be with you." Believe it or not, this comes from A.A.Miles 'Pooh's Grand Adventure'. This is perhaps one of the best things I can recommend you read. The story is an illusion to death where Christopher Robin is about to go off to school and Pooh doesn't want to think about good-byes for hellos are much happier things. And when Christopher Robin does go off to school, Pooh, with his friends search frantically for Christopher Robin. The quote is the last message that Christopher Robin told Pooh and it is what Pooh realizes as his friends search. In the end of the book Christopher and Pooh are reunited and they talk about how they realized they were never really apart as they are always in each other's heart. Just as your mother is always in your heart and you will forever be in her's.

Bright Blessings dear friend )O(

Answer 6

The Phaedo is what I usually suggest reading from....
http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/phaedo.html

"Will you not allow that I have as much of the spirit of prophecy in me as the swans? For they, when they perceive that they must die, having sung all their life long, do then sing more than ever, rejoicing in the thought that they are about to go away to the god whose ministers they are. But men, because they are themselves afraid of death, slanderously affirm of the swans that they sing a lament at the last, not considering that no bird sings when cold, or hungry, or in pain, not even the nightingale, nor the swallow, nor yet the hoopoe; which are said indeed to tune a lay of sorrow, although I do not believe this to be true of them any more than of the swans. But because they are sacred to Apollo and have the gift of prophecy and anticipate the good things of another world, therefore they sing and rejoice in that day more than they ever did before."

If you have anything you need, my email's in my profile.

Answer 7

I'm Wiccan & helped my (then) 7 year old (proto-pagan) daughter deal with her beloved grandfather's death.

I found an interesting article on Witch Vox (can't remember the url rite now) & the author was willing to e-mail support & ideas how to help her deal with the death.

2 1/2 years later she still misses her Grandfather. But as she got up at the funeral (as the only Grandchild) & read a poem, she contributed to the funeral & the grieving process. each anniversary of the death we light a candle & think of him & we do a version of the "feast of the dead" each Samhain.

.

Answer 8

Please accept my condolences. I, also, lost my mother (this past January) after a frustrating battle with heart disease and Alzheimers. Not a day goes by when I don't remember Mom in some way. Try to remember the good times and the love that you had for each other. Treasure any of her belongings that you might have. Live one day at a time, and let your mother's love soothe your hurt. Best wishes to you during this difficult time.

Answer 9

Loss is never easy, we cry for ourselves, and our loss.
You will experience a full rainbow of emotions dear. It is important that you allow yourself to experience them.
I'm sure you were trained to face your demons, embrace them and then let them go. But this will take time, and we are all here for you.
I have had two best friends loss children at a very young age. Grieving is a process that is very personal, because of peoples different needs.
When you deal with this flood of emotions, remember to rejoice in the memories she left you.
Peace be in your heart....

Answer 10

Blessed Friend I do not have the words of comfort because there really isn't any at this time, Is there? Time is the only answer to grief. It's passage is like a balm for the spirit. If there is any comfort to be had it is in the memory of her love for you. Hang onto that my friend. Blessed Be and you are in my thoughts.