Women who have children by different fathers?

Question

I really don't want to, but I kind of can't help looking down on women who have several children by different fathers, and often have never been married. It just seems sad and living proof of a person with very poor judgement, and children who are left as victims who may very well think that there is no point to having a devoted partner/husband/whatever. I've mentioned this to people before, but was wondering if people out there on the web might feel the same? It really troubles me.

Because, as a woman myself, I hold women to higher standards than men. (I just plain do!) We are much more practical overall than men are, especially in personal relationships.

I honestly don't care what women who have had children by different men think - of course you don't like my judgement!

Answer 1

I have 2 biological children, one from my first marriage and one from my current one. Both of my girls are very well adjusted and we have a great relationship with my ex-husband. I also have 2 stepchildren (my husband was in a previous long term relationship).

But I think you are talking more about people like my mom's cousin who has 7 children to 5 different fathers. That is a different ballgame and it is undoubtedly not a secure environment for children.

Answer 2

Ridiculous, sounds like someone is living in the dark ages. You are a chauvinist, and do not have empathy. Move along, its attitudes and closed minded perspectives like yours that are creating all the demise in the world. Let women rise and be strong, despite the wall of fools that is seemingly up against us. Your ignorance is petty. Go read a book or something. Preferably on human rights, and people like you who perpetuate shallow thinking. Maybe, just maybe, something will help crack open that icy heart of yours, poor soul. I will pray for you, and all those like you who try to drag us back in to a past where women were stuck with the same abusive men and had no rights. we are trying to evolve here, now STAND BACK!

Answer 3

My Mum had all 3 of her children to different men. And I don't think its proof of poor judgment I think its life. All of us were made in a loving relationship. But its not my Mum's fault that the men could not handle the responsibility of parenting and so left her and in turn their child. Never to be heard form again.

Thank you very much but I am not a VICTIM at all. And just because my father wanted me aborted and left my Mum when she didn't abort me does NOT mean that I don't see the point in having a devoted partner/husband/whatever.

I have been with my partner (I don't believe in a piece of paper to prove our love and commitment to each other) for 8 years and we have 2 beautiful children.

The only thing that my Mum's experience taught me was to be wary of men because if you get pregnant they leave. And go on to live their lives without acknowledging their own child.
Thankfully that wasn't my experience and my children have a devoted loving father.

But really it is not your place to judge. Especially when you don't know the stories behind each child's conception.

ETA:
Sugarbritches, the women that do have these children are not perpetuating and passing on these genes. Attitude and irresponsibility is not a genetic trait. They a personality trait and peoples personalities are half formed by the way they are raised. So most children are brought up respecting the fact that their Mum was strong enough to be ble to raise them without the love and suppourt of the father. They also realise that yes a loving partner is great but it isnt neccesary to raise good, honest, healthy, happy people.

Answer 4

Judge not..lest ye be judged.

Maybe you should be minding your own business and stop worrying about what others are doing with their lives.

And the above poster who mentioned how women take the brunt of this kind of judgement and thinking,, I totally agree. Why aren't you talking about the men who have 4 and 5 different kids by 4 and 5 different mothers? But you'll look down on the women, the ones who are struggling on their own to take care of children on their own. They have it hard enough without your condemnation!

Answer 5

I think it is very poor judgement to judge someone till you have walked a mile in their shoes. Sometimes life just doesn't always work out the way you want it to. What if that woman was widowed? Is she supposed to stay abstinent and never have another child? what if the man up and just leaves? Is the woman to blame?
I find it hard not to look down on people who are so narrow-minded and judgemental and who can't control it. Just cause you preface it with a "I really don't want to" doesn't make it ok.
It should trouble you, but not in the way you think.

Answer 6

Wow, that's awfully judgemental of you, don't ya think? Just who do you think you are? I have children from different fathers... I was married to the oldest's father for almost 3 years before she came, and when I found out I was pregnant, I was told to "get rid of it".. I chose to leave and make a life for the two of us. I met a wonderful man, and have had two other children with him, who has been an amazing father to her, even though there's no blood relation at all. So should I have "gotten rid of it", by your standards? Or should I have lived as a single mom, and not had more children by a different dad, therefore providing a loving two-parent home? Before you're so quick to jump on someone and judge them, you should probably consider the situation at hand.... unless you're so damn perfect yourself?????

Answer 7

Why do only women get picked on? There are just as many men out there who have children with different mothers. I think everyone should start being more responsible, men and women.

Answer 8

Just because a women has kids by different men doesn't mean you should judge them on that. Everyone has their different reasons for why it happened.
I have 2 children with different fathers. Should I be looked down upon for that when they don't know why that happened?
The real reason for it is not because I was some tramp that couldn't get enough sex. It was because after I had my first child the father turned into a psycho path and murdered a woman. Should I have stayed by his side to make sure my future kids would not be half brother and sister? I don't think so. After that I met a much nicer guy who not only accepted the fact that I had a kid but also took up the father role without hesitation. And it just so happened that yes I did get pregnant again and no we were not married yet. So knowing that, would you still look down on me for have multiple fathers to my kids? If other women had similiar circumstances would you look down on them.
Its not fair to just hear that there are multiple fathers and just assume that it was all their fault. Everyone makes mistakes, and I do mean EVERYONE. So please at least try to find out why before you just look at them like trash.

Answer 9

i have 2 children with a man I was with for 9 years, we never got married thank goodness as it would have made it even harder to leave hi physically and emotionally abusive *** when I did. I just now had a child with the man of my dreams the one i will be with forever, maybe even marry if the mood strikes me.

Look down on me if you want, but i left a man to keep my children and myself safe, we are no longer bruised, bleeding and broken...we can heal now whether you think i am scum or not.

Answer 10

A reason people tend to look down on others is to make themselves feel better for something that's lacking in their own lives. Judge YOURSELF before you start to judge others and maybe you will get to the root of the underlying issue.