Catholic Baptism problem?

Question

My husband, who is not Catholic, and I want to baptise our 3 week old twin daughters, Ruth and Rachael in the Catholic Church, as I am Catholic and he wants to become a Catholic.

The problem is his family, who are Baptists, refuse to come to the Baptism if we get them baptised in the Church, they did not even come to the wedding because it was in the Church 2 years ago, we want the girls brought up in the Catholic faith.

I have no family on my side

How do we convince the family this is what we want without hurting them and tell them this is our decision and how we feel?

Answer 1

I'm in a similar situation. I have family, but they are pretty much all atheists (one brother is Evangelical). My husband's family are all Evangelical or Protestant. We converted to Catholicism 4 years ago and had our third baby about 9 months later.

I couldn't invite my family because they are atheist and because they live too far away anyway. My husband's family were all invited to the baptism and they all boycotted it.

We didn't try to convince them. We didn't say anything one way or another.

Over time, however, they have seen that we are raising the kids to love Jesus. All three of our kids are very knowledgeable about Christ and the Bible, for their ages.

I realized that things were changing at my son's First Holy Communion this year. The family didn't come to Mass, but they did come to our house for the reception afterwards, and they even brought gifts for my son! We showed photos of the Mass and explained what was going on, why the kids were dressed in wedding clothing to represent that they were the Bride of Christ (as all Christians are) and so on.

My hope is that in 3 years, when my next child makes her First Holy Communion, the family will come to Mass. Or maybe it will have to wait 5 years for my littlest one. Who knows?

Words would not have convinced my husband's family of anything. But watching the kids grow up with the Lord, loving and worshiping Him -- THAT is what makes the difference, and I have no doubt it will be the same for your Ruth and Rachael (great names, btw)!

Have the baptism. Invite the family to Mass and also to a reception at your house afterwards. See what happens. Show them Christ's love in your actions and pray. That's all you can do.

Answer 2

*Is Catholic*

I have friends who had the exact same problem as you. It was made more problematic by the fact the the husband was the son of a minister.

The answer is with lots and lots of prayer. What you can do in the meantime is 1.) be confident in the Faith 2.) do not let this turn into a contest about who is right, this is not a good witnessing moment. 3.) be confident in how you phrase things and simply invite them saying on this and that date and allow them to decline 4.) If they decline do not make a big deal about it

It is important to keep this in mind: you are dealing with a very deep and ingrained belief that your actions will send your children to hell.

Tell them simply that this is an important event in your daughter's lives as Christians, and you wish them to attend so that they might bear witness to miracle of the grace of the Holy Spirit (if they use Ghost say Ghost). My friends did a simple baptism without Mass, and the priest made sure to bring out the biblical nature of the rite. The parents did come, and they were not happy, but at least they came.

As for now, lots of prayers.

Answer 3

Sometimes there's nothing much you can do. They are so set in their religious ways that they would refuse to go to a relative's wedding that took place in a different faith. They almost certainly won't want to celebrate a baptism which is the entry into a different faith.
Keep inviting them, don't be surprised if they don't come. Be friendly, let them see how happy your family is together, and maybe over time they'll come to accept your faith. Don't count on it, though, religion brings out the petty, jealous, spiteful side of some people just as in others it can help foster the kind, gentle, accepting side. Your husband grew up around their narrow minded faith, it is no surprise that he welcomes a change. Be glad that the important member of their family, your husband, supports you. That's what counts.

Answer 4

If you in-laws have the audacity to skip your wedding, they will almost certainly skip the Baptism as well.

You are not going to convince them of anything they don't want to be convinced of. Your having your children Baptized Catholic, and that's all there is to it. That's the extent of the explanation that you owe them. Your in-laws can either take it or leave it.

It's unfortunate that they take important events, such as a wedding and not a Baptism - and make it about them via a protest-absence, rather than have the grace to allow your wedding to be about you and your husband and the upcoming Baptism about your children.

Don't let anything or anyone get in the way of your family and the Catholic Church.

Answer 5

I would like to start by saying that although this will sound like a rant it should not be read as one.

You may not be able to. The Baptist Church Leader (at the local Church) is the highest authority at that Church. Catholic Churches (for instance) have local, regional, state, federal and world leaders (I believe I've got that correct), so teachings for Catholics are pretty standard across the world. For Baptists though what is taught at one Church can be contradicted at another. I have actually heard of Baptists walking into my Church (AOG) and dragging (their) congregation members out of our Church by their hair telling them they'll go to hell if they don't go back to the Baptist.
Like I said, I am not ranting, just trying to point out that the lack of consistency between the Baptist Churches can make your task either difficult or impossible.

What can you do? Go to the Pastor of the Baptist Church and talk to him about the situation.

Answer 6

There is no way to "convince" them, so invite them to the service letting them know that you understand that they may not choose to attend.

Have a family gathering after the baptism --later in the day or the evening-- and invite them. Send a "formal" invitation (especially to the women). The invitation can focus on the joyous occasion this is. Provide food and drinks (no alcohol if that seems appropriate) and take the opportunity to thank those who did come.

Put up a website showing plenty of pictures of the girls, the happy parents (that's you!), and the smiling faces of those who came.

HTH

Charles

Answer 7

You could explain this to the priest for advice/counseling, but ultimately his family needs to understand that this decision belongs with you and your husband. You have both obviously found home in Christ’s Church and are going to raise your children as Catholics. God bless you both. Your husband’s family needs to respect your decision, even if they don’t agree with it.

I understand how this makes you feel. You obviously want to have family in your life and for your baby, especially since you have none on your side. I have a similar situation. None of the extended family on either side of my parents wants anything to do with us because of religious reasons (they are Jehovah’s Witnesses; we are Catholics). Deep down I wish it could be different and that everyone could get along, but I can never give up my Catholic faith for them. I have every right to practice and live it, just as they do, and as you do. For them to hold back their love means their love is conditional, and that’s not Christian. Instead, I live my life with my immediate family, and I do just fine. I pray for my relatives constantly.

Your husband’s family should respect your decision. The both of you are Catholic and you are going to raise your children Catholic. If his family can’t accept that, they have the problem, not you. It will more than likely be painful, but people should not put conditions on their love. It’s not right. Does God put conditions on His love?

God bless and take care.

Answer 8

Well...I'm not sure how i can help you. There is so much unneeded division in religions that it makes people forget the true values all people should follow. You don't have to be religious to be spiritual. Maybe you should simply tell them that you are going to raise your child with good morals and values and that you happen to be catholic, but it doesn't mean you're against them at all. I have plenty of friends who are catholic and im not even Christian. Im not really sure...some people are very strict when it comes to religious affairs...

Answer 9

some people have difficulty finding God mum and dad because of the fact there are not sufficient lively Catholics of their lives to decide for from, whilst they only decide for 2. Your's is a fantastic problem to have, being surrounded by utilising maximum of lively Catholics as to make picking even one a not elementary selection. i'm afraid there is in basic terms one godfather in step with Baptism. it is the activity of the godfather, and godmother for that count number, to make advantageous their godchild is raised and knowledgeable in the Catholic faith. they might desire to be keen to step up if the mum and dad are unwilling or unable to work out to their youngster's non secular upbringing themselves. i think you will possibly desire to to %. the only that is basically right apt to step as much as the plate might desire to the circumstances upward thrust up. it quite is going to be a not elementary call. it is not uncommon to have 'expert witnesses' stand with the mum and dad and Godparents at a Baptism. once you refer to the priest who would be doing the Baptism, inquire with regard to the possibility of having the different 4 brothers stand as expert witnesses on the Baptism.

Answer 10

That is very sad if family won't respect how you chose to raise your children. Simply say this is what we chose, and your welcome to join us. And if you stand alone in that church baptizing your children, so be it! It is your kids, and family your looking out for. You can't always please everyone and live by their rules . Because there will come a day that you will be the ones reading and explaining God to those girls, not his family! I am just sorry you have to have family that doesn't support you and the good things you want for your children!