What is a polite way to say that our wedding reception is small and private?

Question

Me and fiance have about 300 people who want to attend our wedding but our receptioin will feed 150. We want to invite people to the wedding still but let them know we cannot feed everyone at the reception. Alot of these people are work associates whom we do not see outside of work. We were thinking about adding a response card that says thank you for attending our wedding----- reception is private.

Answer 1

Give invitation only the 150 who can attend the reception. Through word of mouth tell people they are invited to the ceremony and apologize for not be able to have them at the reception.

I attended a wedding like this, the reception was for family only. I attended the ceremony, there was no formal invitation.

Answer 2

First, try not to put in writing that the "reception is private" - it just sounds exclusionary and you don't want people to feel offended. Less is more - don't explain more than you need to.

YOU CAN PULL THIS OFF!!!

This is what you do...

Have the wedding and have a small appetizer and/or cake reception immediately following the ceremony right there at the church. You could do a dessert bar, light refreshments; whatever suits the season/time of day.

Then go on to your "real reception" afterward. For dinner, dancing, etc. - and cake again. :)

We went to a wedding in Texas that was exactly like that, and from what I understand, that is quite common where there are. Large guest list to the ceremony, smaller for reception. And it was a very sophisticated and upscale wedding in Dallas. At theirs they served finger foods, punch, and also cut and served wedding cake to the guests, which I think was a nice touch. They took the time to greet each guest in a recieving line.

By providing light refreshments you are honoring those people that made the time to come and witness your ceremony. I do agree that it is rude to just send them off without anything.

You will then have one invitation, but different inserts.:

Your invitation will only be for the ceremony. It should make NO mention of the dinner reception. I would not include any reception info, or if anything, only that there will be a light refreshment reception immediately following the ceremony.

Those that are invited to just the wedding will either have no response card, or the card that asks if they will/will not attend the "ceremony followed by light refreshments."

If you are clear about what IS served, then there is no need to draw attention to the fact that they are not invited to the "dinner reception." No elaborate explanation. It is what it is. Less is more.

You are providing a recpetion for EVERYONE, and it is noone's business if you choose to further celebrate with a more select group

Then those invited to the dinner reception will have a separate card to invite them to the dinner reception, or it could even be worded as part of their response card. (Your presence is requested at a post-wedding reception to be held at.... )


And ignore everyone that just dismisses the idea. Just make sure you do it in a way that is gracious.



Good Luck

Answer 3

The easiest way to do this is to only send out only 150 invitations. I'll bet the 300 people who want to attend, really want to attend the reception; not the wedding, so it would be difficult just giving invitations to a wedding and not a reception. It's been done before, but alot of people don't end up going to just the church.

Answer 4

This is my suggestion.... I have helped coordinate many weddings. I understand that guest lists are hard to deal with... so many people that you care about on both sides. I would say that you should either change your reception plans to match the number of guests you are inviting or change your guest list to meet your reception budget. Inviting people to the wedding but not the reception could come off as rude and it may cause some hard feelings. I know that people should not be so sensitive and should just think to themselves that it is not about them. It is about the bride and groom. The only time that people don't seem to get offended is when the wedding ceremony is small for family and extremely close friends and then you have a big blow out reception for friends, family, and coworkers. Good Luck! I hope this helps you!

Answer 5

You invite the people that you see the most such as friends and relatives, and you just tell your co workers that the wedding is small and that you only will invite friends and relatives due to a small budget, if you have a very close co-worker then you must invite her/him as well . Personally I would tell them that, you can always bring some desserts at work when you go back and some photos of the wedding day .
I had that happen to me and I just told them that my budget was small and they understood! There is no need to say" the reception is private" it might be understood in a bad way!

Answer 6

well, most wedding receptions are private.

An attendance of 150 persons at a wedding reception is not what I would classify as small.

It sounds like you are biting off more than you can chew. You should not have a reception if you cannot afford to host all of the wedding attendees. Not extending an invitation for the reception to all who attend your wedding is very tacky. There is no polite way to exclude wedding guests.

Answer 7

Oh, no, please don't do it!

Only invite who you can accommodate. Honestly, those who don't get invited will completely understand...If you invite them, but offer no hospitality, they won't understand at all! And they will most definitely feel slighted if you invite OTHERS to the reception, but not them. They will see everyone else going to the reception, and will either believe that they should follow, or will know that they're on your "b" list, which is a bit of a slap in the face.

If you need any evidence of this, pick around the site listed below...People seriously get offended. An invitation to your wedding indicates that you think these are important people in your lives...but to then be un-included is just insulting.

Answer 8

I'm sorry to say, but that is extremely tacky. If you can only afford to fee 150 people then only invite 150 people. To invite to a wedding, where most will bring a gift, and then not invite them to the reception that follows is being very rude. No matter how you say it, people will be offended that you didn't think them worthy enough to attend the reception. Even if that is not the way you feel, that is the way it will be perceived.

Answer 9

Invite only 150 people... it is assumed by all who attend a wedding that they are indeed invited to the reception. I would pare down the invitation list to include those 150 friends and family that are close... co-workers do not count if you do not see them outside of work. They should understand... and be grateful they don't have to buy a gift for someone they really don't know all that well outside of work.

Answer 10

okay...many of the others above have already said what I'm feeling, but i really want you to know that there is no polite way to say this... so cut down your guest list!

are your sure that, as you say, there are "300 people who want to attend your wedding"? That's quite a lot...no offense, but you can't possibly be that (come-to-my-wedding) close to that many people. Sure, maybe many of these folks would attend, but I am sure your work associates whom you never see outside of work wouldn't die if they weren't invited. I mean, you said it yourself...they aren't really part of your private, non-work life, so why bring them into it now?

i understand that you do not want to leave people out...but doing something this tacky will only guarantee that people see you as rude, greedy, or even both. but by the same token, if you do go ahead with your plan, some people will probably be so offended they wont come, so you won't have a problem anyway!

p.s. if you don't want to cut the list, then you need to re-think what you have planned for the reception...maybe just cut down what you plan on serving, and go for lighter fare instead of a full meal.