so there's this guys and he really likes me. the problem is is that i likED him too [and he knew that i liked him] but he still likes me, &i have no feeling for him except those feelings you have for friends. how do i lay this down gently without hurting his feelings?
2007-07-10 11:58:57 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be honest with him. Tell him that you just see him as a friend and you just don't feel the same. Tell him he is a nice guy and bring his self-esteem up and say that there will be someone else who likes him for who he is. (Kinda even out the "rejection.") You just don't feel the same way.
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2007-07-10 12:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want friendship and he wants more. How to draw the line without making future encounters, awkward?
Step 1- Try subtle hints that let him know that you're not interested in romance. For instance, "I really value our friendship" (with emphasis on "friend"), or "It's so nice to have you, who I can talk to without any kind of romantic tension to get in the way."
Step 2- Mention that you're involved with someone else (assuming that's true) or tell him straight up that you enjoy being single right now and are not looking for a romantic partner, but that you're always looking for new friends.
Step 3- Make a joke out of your rejection if he is a older friend: "We'd never make a good couple; we know each other's hang-ups too well - there'd be nothing to argue about!"
Step 4- Be honest and tell him why you don't think a relationship would work out, unless the real reason is that you aren't attracted to him or her. Even the closest of buddies would have a hard time rekindling a friendship after such a harsh rejection.
Step 5- Change the subject after you've dashed the notion of romance and try to forget about what just happened. Dwelling on the reasons why you don't want to get involved with him won't do the friendship any good.
Step 6- Enjoy the friendship as you always have.
2007-07-10 12:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by Sebastian da Crab of wisdom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you need to be honest and tell him the truth... that you think he's a great guy and perhaps at one time there could have been something but like so many things in life, timing is everything. Tell him you think of him as a friend and ONLY a friend and that will never change. Tell him you hope you can still be friends as you value and treasure him as a friend but that you would understand if that is not possible... Understand and appreciate that no matter what, he will feel a bit rejected and things will be a bit awkward. It is then your responsibility to get your friendship back on track by doing whatever FRIENDS do... and oh, never, never flirt with him... that's called teasing and in this situation, it isn't the right thing to do. Good luck... My guess is that over time, things will change again... but in the meantime allow him to look elsewhere...
2007-07-10 12:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jus Tell Him U Got Alot Goin On An U Couldn and Wouldn wanna get close to anybody That Could cause a Change An Add that u think Hes A Good Frend an Errythang Hes Gonna Know What u mean By it NO Matter What u tell him More Likely Whatever U Say To Him \hes Gon' Keep Tryin Witchu
2016-05-18 23:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by lu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight up. He will appreciate the honesty. Simply say "I liked you in the past but now I only have feelings for you as a friend. I hope you understand that this was difficult for me and I hope that you are not upset with me but I just had to set the record straight and be honest with you." Hopefully he will understand. Ask him if you guys could still be friends, if he says yes, then say good, smile, give him a hug, and tell him that you have to be somewhere in a little while so you need to get going. Short, sweet, and respectful. Everything should be okay.
2007-07-10 12:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by nicky3162002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two points for not wanting to hurt someones feelings. Unfortunately, you really can't. The best thing you can do is to be open and honest right now so that you can both move on. Probably the easiest thing to say would be along the lines of, "I know you have feelings for me that go deeper than friendship. I care for you too and want to have you in my life, but as a friend." It's simple, to the point and gives him all the information he needs.
2007-07-10 12:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by redhaired_one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if you do it gently or harsh as long as you do it. No matter how you do it he's gonna be bummed out but better to be honest than to drag him around. I know from experience, that's bs when a woman can't come clean. It's worse than being told upfront. A lot worse.
2007-07-10 12:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by eldude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him you like him as a friend and nothing else. don't let the guy hope for something that you can't give. if you will be honest with him, don't think he'll be hurt.
2007-07-10 12:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Bakekang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hunny..you cant sometimes people have to like face the truth you kno they have to like face reality soo dont be worried hunnny just tell him like you kno what...i dont have feelings anymore for you...im sorry but like i still wanna be frends you. kno...and probably that way he'll be okay with it so dont wrry<33!!
Good luck<33
2007-07-10 12:03:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish the girl i liek could tell me so...cause every time she acts nice i feel like it means something when its probably her just acting nice as a friend...make up an excuse liuke my parents dont let me date and also i cant take my focus off school...it would help me if the girl i like just told me i had no hope so i would WASTE my time
2007-07-10 12:03:15 · answer #10 · answered by mexicanimm11 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋