I'm only 14 and I just don't believe in whole "Jesus" thing anymore...I might believe in the concept of God, though..but still, I don't believe in my family's religon and they sign me up for a bunch of christan camps and retreats, and they always talk to me about how important faith is...but I don't have christan faith! I just don't, and there's no going back! I don't have to break it to them right now, but I want to before confirmation, which happens around the age of 16...
2007-07-10 11:00:31 · 18 answers · asked by Amy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
No reason to. I'm in just about the same boat as you, but I was confirmed a couple years ago at 14. If you don't believe confirmation will do anything, humor your parents and do it anyway. They aren't going to understand this concept of no Jesus right away, and there'll be less consequence if you just play along. I still go to Christian camps because I know the people there and because they're fun. I bow my head when appropriate and I have the knowledge to answer questions. If someone asks what I am, I kindly say Lutheran. If time is an issue, you can tell them you don't want to do these things anymore, but don't just come out and say you don't want camp, church, or faith all at the same time. When you move out on your own, do whatever you want, but for now, I find it better for everyone to stay with the people I've grown up with in the church and not stressing my parents out.
2007-07-10 11:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by camof2009 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you said, you are only 14, you don't know the truth about anything really, when I was 14 I had the same feelings, you need to speak with your parents now, if they are understanding they will work with you to find out why you have this laps in faith, you might change your mind by the time you are 16 again. Also confirmation, communion, ext... is just pageantry, ceremonial. You can continue with this for your parents but be straight with them that you still aren't sure, I've had some life changing experiences. I have to believe in God and Jesus because I know what I have been through. Also look at the factual stuff if you are not ready to believe he is the son of god, you can at least acknowledge his historical value and work on the parts you don't believe. Yes there was a man called Jesus, and yes he was killed by the Jews, and yes he did leave his tomb. Work on the facts first. Do some research on your own. There is a lot of resources out there.
2007-07-10 11:15:34 · answer #2 · answered by NANCY J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie this something that your going to have work out for yourself and it might come as a blow to your parents. For all you know this could be a phase...but than again sometimes it isn't. I should know, I stopped being Catholic when I was 13 and didn't find my footing till sometime later with a different religion. However for now I'd suggest just talking with your parents. Go to the one that you can more easily talk to instead of both of them at once. That might make things a tad easier and just get things off your chest.
Tell them where you stand on the issue. Try saying "Mom or dad look can I talk to you about something? I'm not sure if I believe in Jesus anymore....(than give them your reasons or whatever)" Relax and remember that it may take sometime if your parents to absorb the information. Take care and good luck!
2007-07-10 11:14:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk of confirmation and that leads me to believe your family is Catholic. If that's the case, Catholicism is very different from Christianity. True, they consider themselves Christians (in a way) but Christianity is way different. And there is going back. Don't ever think that. Through Jesus is God and eternal salvation. As a former Catholic, believe me when I say true Christianity is far greater then Catholicism. I'd suggest to you a book called, Jesus: The Great Debate by Grant R. Jeffrey. At least understand what you are giving up before you do it.
2007-07-10 11:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by Rick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are an independent thinker - probably with some leadership ability. Could it be that, in the process of becoming an adult, you are challenging almost everything about the family, especially the rules?
Maybe you need to do consider how it has gone for older friends and what they think after being on their own for a few years. My guess is that they have changed their minds a few times.
You might also check out other churches before making any drastic changes.
I encourage you to go slowly - not burning any bridges, yet. Can you openly disagree with your parents and still be friends?
2007-07-10 12:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by far from perfect but forgiven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very hard i wouldn't normally condone lying but in this instance (the fact that you are a dependent) I would put off telling them as long as I could, preferably till I left home. A hard one if you have to be confirmed at age 16 and you aren't likely to leave home until two years after that. Could you say that you have decided that confirmation at that age is too young that you feel too spiritually immature and feel the need for further bible study and meditation on your faith. This kinda kills two birds with one stone as you do seem to need to work out what you believe so its not a straight out and out lie. It should also give you time to tell them at a point in your life when they don't have quite so much control over you and you aren't so dependent on them.
I hope this helps it sounds horrendous and I do really hope yu fnd your way through. Feel free to email me with a few more details about what branch of Christianity it is your parents are a part of and how you feel you are leaning in terms of your spirituality and I will try to help further.
2007-07-10 11:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Mom, Dad. I have a problem. First, let me make clear: I will respect your wishes as to what I do until I am eighteen, when you are no longer legally responsible for me. I know you want what is best for me and are doing the best you can to make that the case. I know I am inexperienced in many things and appreciate your guidance and all you've done for me over the years.
However, I have come to realize that I do not presently believe in Jesus, yet I am not foolish. I may one day believe it again, but right now I do not, nor do I wish to.
It isn't a rebellion or anything. I respect your religious beliefs. I am an American. I do support religious freedom, but if I don't say something now, then if I feel the same way when I am sixteen, and I go through my confirmation, it will be a lie. If I had waited, you might have mistaken my attitude for fear and tried to convince me to do it against my judgment, and it still would be a lie.
I don't say it to hurt you, and I know you want me to believe for my own good. I will go to church, and camp, and retreats, but I truthfully think it is counterproductive in my case. I need to understand more about my doubts, not be further taught about my faith.
Will you help me understand what is happening to me, without judging me? Could I be an agnostic, atheist, or some other religion and still be your daughter? I love you so much!"
It is essential you respect your parent's wishes until you are 18 if you expect them to respect yours when you are no longer their legal responsibility. Join nothing without their knowledge, keep discussing things with them (don't argue, just ask their opinion).
Also, remember that you might one day change your mind. Leave it open. There is going back, always will be.
I'm not religious myself, but I have great respect for Christianity. Be open and honest with them. Try what they suggest, if only for their peace of mind to know they tried everything they could. It isn't just for you, all about you.
Sometimes we do religious things for our families sake, so they can make peace with our decisions at their pace, not necessarily ours. Give them time. Yourself as well.
2007-07-10 11:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by mckenziecalhoun 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's been going on that you no longer believe? Do you truely not believe, or are you just denying what you've been taught? You should find someone that is able to answer any questions that you may have. If you can't think of anyone, I'm offering my services. If need be, you can email me, through Y!A.
2007-07-10 11:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by LENZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel qualified to give much advice to a 14 year old, no offense. I would hope that your parents are Understanding? If you do have understanding parents, you need to talk to them, or at least try, but at 14 you are kinda stuck, you dont have to believe, but if they don't understand you, you will still be stuck doing all the things you mentioned......Good Luck
2007-07-10 11:07:32 · answer #9 · answered by amondriscoll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all explore the reasons why you don't believe in Jesus anymore.. did something happen. Just because you don't believe in Jesus anymore doesn't mean he just quits existing. Be honest with your parents about the fact that you are questioning their faith. You are becoming your own person you need to seek God for yourself and make your faith your own.
2007-07-10 11:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋